Happy 4th Birthday Kendall and Seren

How did they ever grow up so fast?  My little babies are turning into beautiful, spunky and loving girls.  They were so excited for their birthday.  I think next year for the big 5 we'll actually try to throw a little birthday party but again this year we enjoyed the small family get together without too much work.  Grandparents D stopped by the day before to wish them well and give them presents (big fluffy blankets and princess pajamas) that they love.  

We went to church that morning and since I was subbing for a primary teacher during this time I was able to watch the primary sing Happy Birthday to them.  They soaked it in.  They each got to wear a special party hat during the song and Kendall's hat had to be held on or it fell off.  She tentatively tried to let go of it and it toppled to the floor.  A boy in her class got the giggles about this and I was worried she would get embarrassed or sad and start crying.  But nope she picked it back up and laughed too then purposefully let it fall off again for another laugh.  I was proud of her for making light of it and not shying away from the attention.  

Grandparents B and my sister were there for dinner and the actual birthday.  The girls enjoyed a meal of their choice (pasta with white sauce) followed by gift giving and then cake and ice cream.  They helped me decorate the cake earlier in the day.  Grandparents B gave them a ballet outfit for their dolls and a Frozen sing-along microphone.  We were all serenaded with their singing and enthusiasm over this the rest of the night.  Jeff and I gave them a Barbie and a sleeping bag and camping chairs.  They were excited to try out the bags and wanted to go camping right away (not to be bothered with the snow on the ground).  We opted to let them sleep in the bags that night instead and that sufficed for now. 

First and Fourth Christmas

We had a great Christmas.  We were delighted to have my parents come up from Florida to visit us and surprise the girls.  They weren't toooo surprised (I don't think they understand how far away Florida is haha).  Nolan was a good baby for his first Christmas and promptly slept through most of the gift giving and unwrapping.  The girls were thrilled to make cookies for Santa and sing Christmas songs and talk about the magic of the season. We visited Santa on three different occasions and each time they asked for the same things.  Kendall wanted a tablet (with kid games...no grown up games) and Seren wanted a doll.  Santa came through with two of each thanks to some surprise help from family in Florida.  We were spoiled and grateful.  We even got one magical family picture of everyone looking at the camera and smiling.  Love this little family of mine.  

That Darn Torticollis (evaluation appointment)

I went to Nolan's physical therapy evaluation and intake appointment yesterday.  The therapist was very nice and good with him.  She explained more about the tilt and lean/turn that Nolan was doing and which muscles were causing the issue (good to know as I had it reversed).  She used her "tools" to measure how much progress he would need to make and where he was at now.  One looked like a giant protractor she laid on the floor with him to measure how much he could move without resistance/grump.  And the other was like a soft clamp that she measured the difference of his head with (the flat side versus the rounded back of his  head to over the opposite eye).  He had an 11 cm difference.  If he were closer to 6 months old this would mean Nolan would need a helmet but since he is still so young she believes we'll be able to correct the problem and his skull will fix itself before it's an issue.  My understanding is around 9 months is when head shape begins to be permanent.

We'll be going to physical therapy weekly for the first month and then every other week after that along with doing lots of exercises and stretches for him at home.  I hope we see an improvement rather quickly and the therapist thinks it will only take 6-8 visits to get him on the right track and hopefully be done.  He is still such a happy baby and very easy going with the stretches we are to do with him.

2 Month Update

*as with my girls these updates are for me to keep and remember.

Weight / Length:   12 lb 9 oz (76%), 24.21 inches (88%) and head circ 40.2 cm (53%)

Appointment Notes:  We talked about tummy time and Nolan's dislike for it.  Also determined that he probably has a little torticollis and Dr G wants him to be evaluated for physical therapy.  I think he's doing better now that he is fully in the crib but Dr G thought his neck muscles still felt a little tight toward his left side.  Other than that he is doing great and no concerns.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding and still have the same tub of formula sitting around (yeah!).  I'm debating between buying a backup tub or those nice travel pouches (I usually only supplement on the go) or just using a different formula sample we got from my ob/gyn appointment.  Still happy it's working though and hoping to push until at least 6 months and maybe a year but we'll see.

Development:   Nolan has great head control.  He is very alert  and likes to look around.  Despite this he hates tummy time (okay he doesn't cry anymore but he usually just lays his head down and chills out haha).  He seems to try to immitate "Hi" and loves to make eye contact and smile and coo.  He loves watching his sisters as they run around or lay/sit by him to entertain him.

Sleep:  He started sleeping in his Rock n Play due to a stuffy cold and darn it all he got pretty attached to it.  It cradles, rocks and vibrates so I can't blame him.  I've been trying to break him of the habit for the last couple of weeks and had a breakthrough a few nights ago.  I rolled up a blanket next to him (hoping it would make him feel more secure) and he went down without a fuss.  So now he naps better and sleeps good at night also.  He's in our room and won't move to his own room until next year due to the holidays and honestly not wanting to fight him on it just yet either.  3 months is a good time to hit that goal right? haha  He goes to sleep between 10-11 pm at night until 2:30 (he has hit 4:00 am a couple of times...wow) and then again until 6:30-8:30 am.  

Fun Memories:  The girls still love on him.  Seren is especially attached and likes to touch his head, hold him and lean on or near him.  Kendall is okay with him but seems a little worried about hurting him, so we try to encourage her and she's getting better.  Kendall is the first to ask "How is Nolan doing?" before she goes to sleep and loves to observe what he's doing and tell us.  Nolan spent his first Thanksgiving sleeping most of the time on my chest.  The girls are excited for Christmas and wrapped presents for him to open.

Looking Forward to:  I hope he starts enjoying tummy time more so that he'll eventually be more mobile.  It will be fun to do Christmas stuff with the girls and Nolan.  They love to see the lights.  We've driven through Layton city lights twice now in a week and even Nolan stops fussing once there are above lights that he can see.  

It blows me away how much he has changed in one month

1 Month Update

*as with my girls these updates are for me to keep and remember.

Weight:  He was 8 lb 9 oz at his 2 week check up.  So he has gained back to his birth weight and a little beyond that at two weeks.  Honestly I'm betting he's getting close to 10 lbs now (well maybe).  He eats like a champ and cluster feeds a bit so I'm thinking growth spurt or just plain hungry and growing boy.  He also had gained an inch at his two week appointment.  2 week checkup stats: 

Eating:  I am happy to report that breastfeeding is going well.  We supplemented some in the beginning with his jaundice.  We have had the same tub of formula for 3 weeks now...yeah!  We'll see how long I can hang tough with it.  I realize it's going to be difficult to my limited freedom already and I also wonder/worry if POI will take a toll with my supply after a while.

Diapers:  This poor boy has the runs pretty good from breastfeeding.  We've been peed on a couple times when the diaper is off but now mostly we are on the offense to catch runny poo as he likes to push it out when he's "free".  Hopefully this will improve a little.  The money we are saving on formula is going towards diaper rash cream haha.

Development:   Nolan has great head control for a one month old.  He doesn't like to rest his head on you too much and is very alert to look around.  He coos and makes sounds when you talk to him.  He makes eye contact.  He smiles quite a bit.  

Sleep: Nolan goes down around 10:30 if we can keep him awake that long.  We try to keep him awake from 8:30 pm or so on so that he'll sleep good at night.  He then sleeps for about 3.5-4 hours then eats and sleeps again for another 3 hours and then usually a couple hour nap in the morning.  He is sleeping in the pack n play bassinet in our room for convenience and our room is warmer.  His room/nursery is still not done but getting there. 

Fun Memories:  The girls helped give Nolan his first tub bath in the infant tub.  They are very eager to help out with him and hold him.  He really enjoyed the tub more than I thought he would.  Also in efforts to keep Nolan awake before bed I was making farting noises with my mouth.  It woke him up and he seemed a little startled at first.  Then all of the sudden he let out a pretty good toot of his own.  He had the biggest smile and grinning eyes, like "that's how it's done Mom".  I caught a video doing it second time but the first smile was the best (I'll have to add it later).  

Nolan with his Super Mario (for eventual comparison) - 1 month old

Still cute even with a case of baby pimples

Seren, Nolan and Kendall

Welcome Nolan Jeffrey...

Our little man was born on October 2nd at 2:16 am.  He weighed in at 8 lb 5 oz and 20 inches long.  He's beautiful and such an amazingly good baby.  I went to my 38 week appointment and requested the induction.  I was still scared of a big headed baby and possible c-section.  There really wasn't a great reason to worry and I doubted the need for induction as September 30th came closer.  We arranged for Jeff's parents to watch our girls that evening and next day.  Unfortunately about the time they arrived for their duty I received a phone call saying the hospital was busy with spontaneous labor patients and couldn't fit us in.  They offered to try for 10 pm and would call us at 9 pm to let us know.  We waited and were again told they couldn't do it.  They said they'd move us to 7:30 am and promised not to "bump" us again.  We went to bed and neither Jeff nor I slept very good that night with nerves and excitement.  But 6:30 am came and another phone call saying it just wasn't possible but that we would be the first person they called when it could be done.  We went for a walk around the neighborhood to blow of steam as it was getting old at that point.  Jeff's parents had stayed the night.  We got a call at 10:30 am asking if we could be there by 11:30 am and agreed to this.

We arrived at the labor and delivery unit and were checked in.  Our nurse was great and they had a student/intern following her around who did my IV and catheter (both were fine although I worried a little).  They started me on pitocin and everything was cruising along just fine.  Around 12:30 pm one of Dr B's colleagues was up at the hospital breaking another patients water and Dr B requested he also do mine.  Once this was done the contractions were harder and more uncomfortable. My parents were up to visit and we sat around and small talked.  Jeff would watch the monitor and point out when I was having a contraction (haha as if I couldn't tell from the discomfort/pain).  He would time them out on the monitor and give me estimate for next one and then watch my face for the reaction.  Kind of funny and kind of annoying.  I wanted to put off the epidural and made it until about 4:30 before asking for it.  I was only dilated to a 3 or 4 at that point.  Once again having the epidural placed was the worst part of the whole experience.  I don't think it was placed quite right as they said I should have warm tingle down my leg and I didn't.  So they anesthesiologist pushed or wiggled it around...ouch.  But once it was done I didn't notice the contractions so much.

Around 10 or 10:30 pm they checked and I was dilated to a 9+ but Nolan wasn't dropping very well.  They waited for a "lip" of my cervix to finish dilating and checking his position.  The new nurse wasn't as great as the first and couldn't tell which direction he was facing entirely.  She guessed that he was not face down and that he was facing kind of sideways/diagonal towards my left hip.  She had me do some trial pushes to see if he would move or drop and he didn't.  So we tried some different laying positions to see if maybe he would shift direction on his own.  He didn't.  So around 1:30 am she contacted Dr B with the update and Dr B decided to come in and probably manually turn him and use suction.  At this time my right leg started feeling a little tingly and my feet in general did not feel numb like I thought they should.  The nurse put me off a little when I asked if it was normal.  Then I started having definite feeling of contractions and back pain.  I'm sure they were not anything like they would have been without the epidural but they hurt quite a bit (equal or worse to when I asked for the epidural) and also just made me really nervous it would wear off more and I'd be in full labor/birth without it.  The nurse had me turn on my side and hug the pillow while she went to hopefully find the anesthesiologist again.  I cried and pushed the manual button which would cover or take the edge off of the first contraction but the following one (a couple minutes later) would kill as there was a 5 minute delay on the button.  Luckily they caught him before he went into a c-section and he was able to give me a "booster" that put the epidural back into full effect.  My mom came in to check on progress and I told her Dr B was on his way.  My sister had gone home already just barely so my parents were the only ones still there.  I told my mom she was welcome to be in the room but that it might be a little awkward with my dad there.  Of course he would have understood.

Dr B arrived and I'm guessing manually turned Nolan and placed the suction on his head, although I don't remember this.  My mom was standing up by my head next to Jeff and they were having me push when my dad came in.  He had been separated or locked out so missed connecting with my mom.  I didn't care at that point and just told him he was fine to stay but just to stand by my mom.  It didn't matter to me at the time and now I'm really grateful he was able to be there.  I'm glad both of my parents could share that with us.  They had me push three times with each contraction and I could feel the pressure as Nolan was crowning but not the pain.  It seemed to take a while and the last contraction/pushing did begin to hurt and it felt like we were getting nowhere.  Then he was born and they placed him on my chest with my hospital gown to cover him up.  He was perfect and beautiful and covered in goo.  It was a great moment and tearful.  Then they took him to measure and clean off while I was stitched up.

So he's here and he's wonderful and we are doing great as a family.  The girls were thrilled to come and meet him.  They've both been a little extra whiney lately but hopefully that will lessen with time and a new routine to settle into.  They like to hold him and snuggle up to him.

Nolan at a follow up appointment for jaundice.  The glow might be the lights or the jaundice but it's one of my favorite pictures so far.  

Update: 38+ weeks

Baby update:  Everything is still good.  Dr B measured his head again and said he was just under 10 cm this time and even if that wasn't accurate that he felt I should still be fine.  So I am holding out hope and trying not to worry anymore.  He estimated his weight at 6 1/2 lbs this time (a little less that last time) so maybe u/s technology isn't that great.  I think he'll be between 7 and 8 lbs but hoping he's not over that.  Dilated to 2 cm and 75% effaced so not a lot of progress but enough to not feel worried.  I was still chicken enough on size though to ask about being induced and Dr B said we could go that route.  So I will actually be going in on September 30th to be induced but not until 8 pm...sounds like a horrible time as I imagine that will mean labor all night.  I have my flight of fancy to walk my heart out on Monday and Tuesday to maybe go on my own before then but I doubt that will be the case.  

Cravings:  Sweets.  Fried food.  Nothing really good for me.  Maybe it's more indulgence than craving.

Weight Gain:  about 20 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He still moves a bit mostly just before bedtime.  He likes to stick his feet into my right side and ribs.  I also feel him occasionally where it seems he's trying to stretch out from head to toe.  I don't have insomnia but now I don't sleep great due to discomfort.  I think I've had a few actual though mild contractions but nothing consistent.  If I walk a bit it usually tightens everything up but then goes away once I relax for a little while.  My feet have also been swelling the last few days.

Day to Day:   Trying to clean house and organize.  Finishing packing a hospital bag and getting "big sister" gifts together.  I definitely have not accomplished everything I wanted to but it will do and work out.  Hoping to fit in a haircut today or tomorrow.   

Baby Prep:  Pretty much planning on just doing this after he's hear now haha Ooops.  I'm a stinker.  We have all the physical needs met but the nursery decorating can wait a bit.

The Girls:  Love my girls.  They are so good to each other and such good playmates, usually.  They have such fun imaginations lately and conversations I love.  Kendall was eating dinner with my parents the other night and kept saying "two grandmas and two grandpas" and I thought she was just saying she had two of each but she giggled and pointed and we realized she was crossing her eyes and seeing/making two of each.  Cracked us all up, silly girl. 

Looking forward to:  Just looking forward to little boy being here and coming home with him now.  Hoping it all goes smoothly. 

Next visit:  September 30th is set for the day.  

Update: 37+ weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down but not engaged.  He is estimated to weigh 7 lbs now.  So if full-term somewhere around 8 lb estimate.  I am still only dilated to 1.5 cm and now 70% effaced so nothing serious happening there.  My issue/concern is this little guys head is measuring full term (the u/s said 41 weeks...yikes!).  I asked Dr B somewhat nervously if this was going to be a problem and he didn't seem concerned and just gave his usual cheery tone of voice and said "It shouldn't be that's just why one has to dilate the full 10 cm".  Not super encouraging.  Plus during the cervical check he mentioned that baby needs to drop a bit still which has/had me worrying that he hasn't dropped cause there isn't enough room.  Seriously?  I have a nervous/scared cry anytime I really think about (despite reading online it's common for second-timers to not drop until actual labor sets in and big babies come natural all the time).  Can we say considering induction again? and beating myself up for not taking the offer to sweep membranes and help things along too (I didn't want to risk actually going into labor before my parents got here).  

Cravings:  Nothing really.  Spicy chinese was super delicious a week ago and milk always tastes good.  Just the usual. 

Weight Gain:  still about 15 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He still moves a bit mostly just before bedtime.  I have had insomnia issues going back to sleep for the last few days.  Last night was definitely due to worrying about the big head concerns.  I think I've had a few actual though mild contractions but nothing consistent.  I'm hoping to step up my game on helping things along if I can.  

Day to Day:  Painting has stopped in main house.  I may paint after he's born and before we transition to bedroom (he'll be in ours for a while I think).  I borrowed my sister's sewing machine but haven't done anything and don't really want to or care if I do.  

Baby Prep:  I've lost my motivation to sew or do things for this.  I did get a car seat canopy off a yardsale group on Facebook because I want one but lost all desire there too.    

The Girls:  They are doing great.  They love playgrounds and climbing on things.  They have great imaginative play developing.  They love to ride the tricycles up and down in front of the house.  They are excited for fall/winter/Halloween but not sure the "cold" idea really means much to them yet.  

Seren was disappointed when I didn't come home with baby brother from the doctor's appointment yesterday.  "Awww...no baby brother?"  like he will just be something easy to pick up at the store or doctor and bring home.  Kendall wanted to go to the appointment and I told her I had to take my bottoms off lately and she didn't want to see my bum.  She asked "what's in your bum?" haha funny kids.  Then she said she wanted to go next time so she could play on the playground...bless that sweet honest girl.  

Looking forward to:  Honestly I just want to go into labor now.  Between being uncomfortable and fear of him getting any bigger to possibly not fit I just want to be done now.  Hospital bag is mostly packed so yeah bring it on already.  

Next visit:  September 24th and October 2nd.  Let's plan on cancelling the October 2nd one at least right? 

Update: 35 weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down with face towards my back bone.  He is estimated to weigh 6 1/4 lbs now (more then Seren or Kendall weighed at birth).  So if full-term somewhere around 8 1/4 lb estimate.  Not too terrifying.  I am dilated to 1.5 cm and 50% effaced so nothing serious happening there yet.  I'm supposed to have weekly appointments at this point but Dr B is gone next Thursday and at my last appointment they said "you're probably okay to skip that week and if anything happens let us know" but then the nurse seemed a little more pushy to fit me in on Tuesday.  But really an appointment 4 days after just seeing him and I'm only hitting 36 weeks...I declined but offered to squeeze it in if necessary.  Again the same "you'll probably be fine just let us know".  Of course.  I have braxton hicks a decent amount but no inkling of actual contractions so I'm not worried.

Cravings:  Chocolate.  Sweets give me heartburn sometimes.  Water.  I feel like I drink a lot of water later and I'm still thirsty.  Nothing out of the ordinary food wise though...just my usual temptations.  

Weight Gain:  about 15 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He is moving quite a bit still.  Sometimes I feel his bum, foot or knee (who knows) slide across my stomach trying to get comfortable.   He usually likes to start moving the most after we put the girls to bed and I'm chilling on the couch.  

Day to Day:  We are almost to the stopping point for painting the kitchen...one wall left.  I still want to paint his room but my internal motivation is not really there.  My sewing machine had a part issue so I'm borrowing my sister's and hoping for motivation to finish my projects (bedding, car seat canopy thing and some burp clothes)...I'm sure I'm not going to get it all done but I want to try. 

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  This is my first sewing goal.  Followed by ordering last needed items from Amazon along with some Mario wall decals.  

The Girls:  They are doing great.  We took them for a day out yesterday and went downtown.  They had fun.  They love playgrounds and climbing on things.  They have great imaginative play developing.  

As for baby stuff, Seren complains that "baby brother's taking too long" and Kendall doesn't seem to mind.  They comment on my belly being big sometimes.  We got some formula in the mail and I talked to them about baby brother breast feeding and Seren laughed at me and said "nuh uh".  But she mentioned it to Jeff when he got home so it didn't go over her head either.  Kendall is more interested in rocking her baby brother when he arrives.  We brought up the recliner/rocker we used in their nursery and they rocked in it and were excited.

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made and cleaning up the house.  Hospital bag is mostly packed so yeah.  Just basically settling in for the final few weeks and looking forward to his arrival. 

Next visit:  Sept 18th and Sept 24th?? (I think)  Is it bad that I'm hoping those might be the last two.

Donor Egg: Second Go Around

It occurred to me today I haven't thought too much about it this time at all.  This has been a fairly easy breezy pregnancy apart from the morning/evening sickness in the beginning and the lack of sleep that has recently started.  I am starting to wonder a little bit about what he might look like though.  From the 3D ultrasound bits of him we've seen he seems to have Kendall's little nose but we'll see.  Other then that he's been relatively hidden.  I was surprised to hear at our last appointment that he has some hair...like hair enough to show up on ultrasound.  That definitely did not happen with Kendall and Seren.  So I wonder about hair color and eye color.  I suppose like any other parent waiting on the unknown.  I think of how Jeff's nephew had a full head of red hair at birth.  Maybe he'll have red hair like his sister Kendall?  But then do boys with red hair get made fun of?  For girls it's usually an enviable trait.  Maybe he'll be blonde like Seren?  Jeff and I were both tow headed toddlers also.  Maybe it will be brown.  Maybe brown eyes too.  Maybe the donor aspect of genetics will win out this time.  I kind of hope not but I wouldn't mind either and I'm sure he would still be adorable.  So the curiosity for looks is starting to come out I guess.  Everything else is old hat feeling.  They will be who they will be and we will be who we will and parent how we believe is best and hopefully that will lend itself to making some wonderful full-grown humans some day.

I am still grateful for our donor.  It's been 4 years and a bit since she made that difference in our life and the path it might take.  I wonder if she ever thinks about the blessings she helped make possible.  I don't think we were the only successful couple.  I think on talking to the girls about the donor egg aspect again.  I mention it to them but know more will come out as they all grow up.  I'm grateful the three of them will share the same story and genetics.  I would not have wanted to pursue other children with a different donor even if the expenses weren't there.  I think about that sometimes too.  The expense.  I see other couples who discover infertility later in marriage after they've settled into a life, a home and expenses that don't play so nice with adoption fees and infertility expense.  I'm grateful now that infertility was a part of our lives before we even were married or "trying".  I don't think we would have been able to afford things if we had time to get into some debt.  Even the way it was we were pretty much "this cycle or bust".  It was a stressful beginning but it gave us the ability to plan and budget and make decisions.  I wish it were that easy for many and I wish cost and coverage of infertility was more easily accessible.

Anyway I guess not much has changed with donor egg feelings.  I think I'm more relaxed with things and not anxious about the outcome.  These are our babies and I love them and we love them.  I can't wait for this little one to join us.

Update: 33 weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down with face towards my back bone.  So his little bum is probably what keeps poking out the front making me uncomfortable.  He is estimated to weigh 5.5 lbs now (more then Seren weighed at birth and almost what Kendall weighed).  We didn't get a guess on birth weight but supposedly he'll gain 1/2 lb per week until then so around 8 lbs or so.  Also his head measured about 35 weeks so that wasn't great news to me haha.   

Cravings:  Sugar...my usual weakness.  I'm trying to be better.  I love fruit and milk and peanut butter sandwiches too.

Weight Gain:  about 12 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight. 

Movement / Symptoms:  His boney and bumpy parts are starting to poke out more, sometimes not so comfortably but still very cool.  I have tried to get the girls to feel him when his bum or such are sticking out and they say they do but not sure.  They love it and get excited though.  

Day to Day:  I hate bending over and I don't think little man likes it when I do either haha  The girls have gotten good at cleaning up their toys and are super nice to help hand me things on the floor if I ask.  The general painting in the house has continued a little though I have a definite stopping point in mind.  I still want to paint his room so maybe that'll be next.  

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  I actually cut up a little fabric and gave it some thought yesterday.  I bought some fabric and ribbon to work on it also.  Of course I took a really short nap during this also :) haha

The Girls:  They are doing great.  They talk about baby brother getting here and holding him.  Seren wants him to come next week and was not happy to hear it will be a little longer than that.  We were asking them what we should name him and it turned into a big giggle as they kept saying "I have a great name for baby brother...knife" and they'd giggle and then the other would repeat the same statement and "name" of knife.  They were having a great time.  They argue about who will hold him first. I hope the excitement doesn't wear off too quickly though I'm sure it will.  We have play group once a week and they love that.  They love going to Sunday dinners at Jeff's parents where they play with cousins and wear themselves out.  

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made.  Maybe painting.  I started packing a hospital bag with a few things...definitely no where near done.  Need to do some pre-hospital shopping for the house before he comes home too.  Lots to do and I just haven't stressed about it this time so the list isn't really done haha  Oh boy!  Figuring out a name haha...it's still a discussion and undecided.

Next visit:  Sept 4th and Sept 18th.

Little man didn't cooperate for a picture so here's one of him from the outside

Update: 30 weeks

Baby update:  He is doing well.  He measured on target I believe but it wasn't mentioned directly.  I don't worry unless something is mentioned but don't always ask if it isn't.  He weighs about 3.5 lbs and everything was still looking good.

Cravings:  Sandwiches haha I can always be in the mood for a subway.  Sadly Jeff is getting sick of subway being my go-to meal out (it's cheap and park friendly haha)...granted this is only every couple weeks or so.  Chocolate.  Milk.

Weight Gain:  about 10 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.

Movement / Symptoms:  His boney and bumpy parts are starting to poke out more, sometimes not so comfortably but still very cool.  He was going crazy the night before our appointment and I kind of think he was making a turnabout now as he was head-down at the appointment.  Good job kiddo now just stay in formation as I'm hoping to avoid slicing and dicing come delivery day.

Day to Day:  Pretty lame here.  I've been trying to clean and organize and that has led to lots of lame days around the house.  I'm not even sure you could tell if it's made a difference sadly.  But the girls are good sports and still enjoy playing on our swing set when the mood strikes them...it's still pretty warm so it's not always often.

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  Still haven't done anything with this.  Hoping to work on it this coming week or next.

The Girls:  They are doing good and playing well together.  They have the funniest expressions they pick up that make us laugh "gimme a break" and others I can't recall right now...so need to write them down.  We have a family reunion for Jeff's side of the family in Idaho this weekend.  The girls are looking forward to seeing the cows up there (hopefully there are a good amount of cows haha) and their cousins (some they see often and others it's been a long time).

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made.  Maybe painting.  I will probably start to pack a hospital bag after we get back from Idaho as I didn't do this last time and it will be nice to not throw it together last minute.  Figuring out a name haha...it's still a discussion and undecided.

Next visit:  August 21st and Sept 4th (I make them two at a time now I guess).

Update: 27 weeks

Baby update:  He's definitely more active and getting stronger which is reassuring.  We finally got a partial face shot of him.  He is measuring 28 weeks (at 27 weeks) but Dr B said he's 60% percentile when I was a little confused at him being a week ahead.  Maybe my app is wrong or I just misunderstood something.  Estimated weight would be a little over 8 lbs if I go full term (honestly hoping not to but we'll see).

Cravings:  Salads and sandwiches.  Chocolate, peanut butter...my usual weaknesses.  I made homemade chicken salad and ate so much of it.  It was super yummy.  Sadly a lot of it went down the sink after a few days (have to make a smaller batch next time).

Weight Gain:  about 8 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  I must have passed my glucose test as I never heard back and they said I would if there was a problem.

Movement / Symptoms:  Feeling more movement and typically every day.  Definitely feeling more uncomfortable with movement and more growth.

Day to Day:  Pretty lame here.  Go to play groups with friends and stay inside a little too much due to it being so stinking hot (hitting 100 *F this past week a couple times).  Starting to want my body back and look forward to sitting, walking and just doing things more easily (even though compared to many I probably have little to complain about).  I loathe bra shopping and bra wearing.  Can't find a solution and only have one bra I remotely like or fit right now.

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  Still haven't done anything with this.

The Girls:  They are doing well and loving summer.  We got to the splash pad and Seren likes it okay but generally I bribe Kendall to get wet or she won't and she doesn't like it either way.  They LOVED the fireworks this year which was so much fun.  We also took them bowling for the first time and they had a great time.

Looking forward to:  Cooler months.  Getting some nursery stuff made.  I feel like a slacker on this as we may not even put up the crib until after my parents visit (depending on how it fits) so I feel no pressure to make bedding...which is nice.  I would like to paint this room but not sure.  Just realized with taking things out of it and off walls that it's a little more beat up than I previously thought.

Next visit:  July 31st.  Then it will be every two weeks.

Baby Boy at 27 weeks

Free Slurpee Day 7/11/2014 -  These girls love slurpees

No Right or Wrong Way...

My closest friend recently shared an "8 Things to Never Say to a Mom of an Only Child" on Facebook.  I initially thought well this is good and probably informative of another side to life and choice or non-choice to be in that situation.  She has a little girl who is a couple months younger than my two girls and they experienced a early second-trimester miscarriage last September and are still trying again from my understanding.  She has told me of the insensitivity of people asking "when are you going to have another?" type questions.  But the one point in this list she points out to agreeing with most is parents/moms saying "It's so hard with three kids".  I'm sorry...what?  Even the author of the article admits that if you stay at home with your (three) kids or work full time and come home to them that you are an exception to her complaint saying her complaint is against those who send their kids to day care or "school" and aren't attached to them ALL the time.  Obviously it's harder to juggle more children by simple math.  I kind of think the author rewrote/reworded after backlash from parents of multiple children.

Now I get that this "complaint" (at least by my friend) is probably more geared at women that complain about having more children.  Honestly I try not to ever complain about the number of kids I have.  I'm grateful for my girls even on days when I've hit my patience breaking point and bedtime can't come soon enough.  I don't complain about my pregnancy or act like I'm put out by any discomfort I have (well maybe to myself, Jeff or the dog).  I don't have an only child (never did) and I'm grateful.  I hope I would be grateful with only one as well but I can see the struggle. 

Anyway I have sidetracked from my even more annoyed declaration about this discussion that ensued after her posting.  Her sister-in-law, who has suffered 3 miscarriages, replies first and points out that she's not sure she's in agreement with the article because she doesn't think most people are being "insensitive jerks" (as the article calls them) for asking about having other children or just generally inquiring about family and kids.  She went on to say that she doesn't think talking about miscarriages should be taboo and she likes having the opportunity to educate people.  I can understand that.  When I get asked about my twins I feel the same way about it giving me a chance to shed light on infertility and maybe be supportive to someone going through it or who might have questions.  

But no understanding or empathy was to be had for her points...strong disagreement came pouring in from my friend's husband and his best friend (mutual close friend to my friend as well).  Knowing some of my friend's recent irritated feelings towards this sister-in-law (announcing her pregnancy too early for my friends liking, complaining about morning sickness to my friend, etc) I wonder if some of the attack that followed was due to a general dislike of her and her handling of current pregnancy.  Anyway both men went on to say...How dare she call miscarriage talk "taboo".  It's not taboo it's painful they both say and basically shame her for wanting to be public about her experience.  In my opinion obviously my friend's husband is defending his wife and their good friend is defending his mother who is still emotional when it comes to her own loss many years ago.  I get that.  Defend away.  But calmly express your opinion don't tell someone they are wrong for how they are handling it.  

Seriously?  You have to argue over how someone is supposed to deal with their grief.  How is this even a topic where there is a right or wrong answer.  Granted I've never had a miscarriage and I don't know what that is like but for me I think being told "you'll never have children" and having to go to the furthest extremes to have children passes pretty close up there to something emotionally similar.  Maybe for those that have had miscarriages that will take offense to that and for that I apologize.  But the point I'm trying to make is basically just to say that I know what it's like to be emotionally gutted and left with what feels like a dark abyss of no hope and no understanding.

Why compare?  Why argue about the appropriate way to handle how you discuss or don't discuss it?  There is no right or wrong way to handle yourself or your emotions.  Unless you are forcing that way onto someone else.  So for them to tell her (someone who has been through repeated miscarriages) that she is wrong about her opinion of the subject just really pissed me off.  You just don't go there.  You don't tell someone who knows how it feels and has had the same type of loss that they are wrong in how they deal with it.  Seriously it just steams me still but that's all I have to say on the subject without going into some long rant and tirade about it (if I haven't already).  I deleted my comment towards the article (which was lighthearted and before the attack) and will leave it at that.

Anatomy Scan...23 weeks 1 day

Baby update:  Baby boy was doing well.  He is very much decidedly not a mover and shaker (at least for appointments).  The tech measured what she needed to and everything looks good and is on target.  Little man is approximately 1.5 lbs right now and had a heart rate of 154 bpm.  He was pretty stubborn in showing his face...in fact didn't really show it enough for the anatomy scan to be complete but the tech didn't seem all that worried (or super friendly for that matter haha).  She made a note about not being able to measure or visualize the face well and said Dr B could follow up with this if he wanted to.  My ob/gyn has my due date for October 7th and since everything keeps measuring accurate for this I've decided to adopt it over my October 9th given by UCRM's office.

Cravings:  Salads and sandwiches.  Sweets (unfortunately).  Chinese...I have yet to enjoy some good crab/cream cheese wontons.  I figure the crab is imitation so therefore probably safe.

Weight Gain:  4 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.

Movement / Symptoms:  Feeling more movement and typically every day, usually around my bladder.  I think the anterior placenta has kept things pretty quiet on this front so far.

Day to Day:  Definitely feeling better and more energy.  We went to Zions National Park and enjoyed some nature walks/hikes.  It was nice to have our girls in tow as I was able to go at a slow pace.  I'm not in great shape and probably even slower with pregnancy.  Hoping to get some cleaning and organizing going before I get to the uncomfortable stage again.

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor although I haven't started on this still.

The Girls:  They are doing well and loving summer.  They loved staying at the condo for Zion and going hiking and swimming.  We're going to head to a movie in the park with them tonight.

Looking forward to:  An actual 3D scan where we can baby boy's face haha  We haven't really had any great u/s pictures with this pregnancy so far.  Maybe they try harder to give you some cute pictures with your first pregnancy or maybe he really is this stubborn.  Anyway hoping to see a cute chubby cheeked picture in the next bit.

Next visit:  July 10th glucose test and appointment.

Update: 22 weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy was doing well at our appointment.  He doesn't seem to be much of a mover and is always pretty chill.  Hopefully he'll be a wonderful mellow baby as well.  He measured a couple days ahead again and was about 0.75 lbs.  Dr B estimated he would be about 7.5 lbs or so if I go full term.

Cravings:  Nothing really.  I like salads still and sandwiches like Subway (probably shouldn't).  Nothing ever sends me running to the store or restaurant to go eat it though.

Weight Gain:  2 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.

Symptoms:  Feeling a little more movement but not always.  Did find out I have an anterior placenta though so that is probably muffling some of the movement going on.  Usually he starts wiggling if I haven't eaten breakfast and right after I eat or when I lay down to sleep at night.

Day to Day:  Definitely feeling better and more energy.  Painted two of our larger walls in our house (as in ladder needed).  They were a creamy yellow neutral from the previous owner and I finally got my way (love ya Jeff) and we splurged on a copy gallons of nice cream light brown/tan to paint it all).  Still many walls to go but hey it's getting there.  I am trying not to paint the baby's room this time but who knows what will happen.

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery it is.  I ordered some sheets to use for material and a plush Mario.  I'm excited to get going on it.  I've also bought some gently used baby boy clothes, a gently used nursing pillow, a carseat and a couple new outfits courtesy of Khols sending me a $10 off $10 or more coupon.

The Girls:  They are doing well and loving summer.  We've been sick with fevers and sniffles the last couple weeks which is no fun but we're heading into the clear now and going to hit more parks and splash pad fun.  Our little blow up pool is waiting in the backyard as we speak (might need an upgrade as it really is quite little hehe)

Looking forward to:  We are heading down with the girls to our southern state for some relaxing and hiking this weekend and into the week for a few days.  We'll stay at a condo we're renting in St. George and then do some hiking and exploring in Zions National Park.  Sooooo looking forward to it.  The condo has a community pool and playground and other fun stuff (hope my swimsuit will fit).  Plus some good eats will be had :)

Next visit:  June 12th for targeted ultrasound/anatomy scan.

Gotta love selfies in the mirror :P 

I bought tops a couple sizes up from my normal on clearance at Walmart and was going to rouche them with elastic thread so they weren't so frumpy...getting to the "eh who cares" point though HAHA

HAHA...Like I said it's small.  Time for an upgrade I think.  They still LOVED it. 

Update: 20 weeks...Halfway there

Baby update:  Supposedly he's a small cantaloupe.  Our next appointment is a week away but it's been 3 weeks since I've written anything.  So as far as we know he's doing fine.

Cookie Tossing Count:  Nothing for a couple weeks.  Yeah!  I think it's safe to drop this topic finally.

Cravings:  Nothing really.  Most food doesn't sound good to me.  Jeff claims I never eat much when I'm pregnant so maybe this is my norm.  Eggs and toast is usually tasty enough.  Fruit is good.  Milk is usually yummy.  I made homemade Fettuccine Alfredo last week which was sooooo good...I really shouldn't have learned that simple recipe (or maybe I should share it so we can all "suffer" together haha)

Weight Gain:  I think I'm about at pre-pregnancy weight now or a pound up.  Not great but good enough.

Symptoms:  Depending on the day I feel bloated and like I'm getting a belly.  Some days I feel like I am just pudgy looking.  Still not a lot of movement.  I feel a flutter once in a while, maybe once a day or every other.  But not a whole lot.  Sometimes it concerns me but I just figure hold out until the 29th and ask about it.

Day to Day:  I feel like I have more energy but nothing to run marathons or even a few blocks with.  I am motivated some days and darn right unmotivated others.  I am trying to organize and sell stuff from the girls clothing so let's hope we don't get a switch-a-roo gender and need it.  So in my effort to organize there is more disarray than organization...blah!

Nursery Theme:  I am really thinking I'd like to do a Super Mario nursery theme.  Jeff would love it and I'm not really into sports, airplane, pooh and other boy themes that are out there.

The Girls:  Kendall was pretty upset the other day when she insisted there were two baby brothers and I told there was only one.  She had a meltdown.  Seren still tells us that baby brother is in her tummy and that he will crawl out someday.  They are doing good and the are excited for a baby brother.

Next visit:  May 29th for regular check up.  June 12th for targeted ultrasound/anatomy scan.

Update: 17 weeks

Baby update:  Our appointment was yesterday (May 1st).  Baby is doing well.  We asked to confirm gender but he wasn't being cooperative so we only caught the quickest glimpse so nothing is 100% but probably 98% based on the ultrasound at 13 weeks.  He is measuring between 17-18 weeks so right on target.  Heart rate was fine everything is developing great.

Cookie Tossing Count:  I haven't tossed my cookies for a good while (yeah!).  Sugar has started making me feel like crap though...especially if I eat it at night.  Let's face it I have toddlers that sniff out sugar so this was typically when I would indulge in a treat after they went to bed.  But no longer the best option...boo!

Cravings:  Toasted bread, heated turkey, tomato, lettuce, mayo and mustard sandwich.  I had two for lunch today (okay lunch and post lunch a couple hours later).  Yum!

Weight Gain:  I'm not sure I'm gaining enough but considering I was trying to and could stand to lose some when the second FET was successful it's probably okay.  I am still down from my initial pregnancy weight by a pound or two.

Symptoms:  A little more bloated and "full" feeling depending on the day.  Which I think is crazy since he is about 5-6 inches and 1/2 lb.  I don't feel like there is that much baby in there and I'm not showing still, only a little more belly than I'm used to.

Day to Day:  I feel tired a lot of the time.  I need to get some more iron or take the prenatal with iron (gummy ones do not have iron).  I am doing a little better day to day getting things done around the house but it's still not like old habit used to be.

The Girls:  The girls were excited to see their baby brother again on the ultrasound.  Seren was asking if the gel and ultrasound tickled.  They love our ob/gyn's office as it has a big Little Tykes play set in a room so they can play while we wait (Dr B was out on a delivery this time so the wait was bearable with them entertained as well).  Seren tells us that baby brother is in her tummy and in mine.  She will jump around or dance and say "I'm dancing with my baby brother.  He likes it".  Kendall agrees that he is in Seren's tummy and in my tummy but not in her tummy.  I guess to them babies only come in sets of two haha.

Next visit:  May 29th for regular check up.  June 12th for targeted ultrasound/anatomy scan.

Update: 16 weeks

Baby update:  I am feeling more bloated and not as comfortable in my regular pants and it's not so comfortable to pull my knee up to my chest when I sit on the couch or at the computer.  Those are my indicators of growth because I still don't really see a big difference with a baby bump or such.  Also my bras are starting to not fit so well again...seriously?  So annoying and I already hated bra shopping.

Cookie Tossing Count:  This is pretty much gone.

Cravings:  I don't really find myself wanting to eat anything particular.  Sometimes I have no desire to eat.  I love milk.  Also we went to Zupas last night and I got the mushroom soup and chicken chop salad...the mushroom soup always hits the spot even in non-pregnant times.

Symptoms:  Just more bloat feeling and annoying enlarged breasts.  No real weight gain yet still.  I still think this is a balance of gaining baby weight but losing some with hormones in being in balance.

Movement:  I don't think so yet.  Occasionally I'll feel very small twinge type stuff where I think it would be but nothing convincing yet.

Day to Day:  Energy is starting to come back.  I tried to clean house yesterday.  Managed to shift some things around in the spare bedroom/nursery.  We're moving our make-shift office into our bedroom until further notice (blah! but it may be a while as the basement will need finishing before it can really go anywhere else).

The Girls:  Kendall and Seren are adorable.  They make small mentions of "baby brother" on their own now...like when they see me taking my vitamins or see other babies.  They are so fun and smart and sassy.  Seren loves to say "you silly" now when she corrects your or tells you what to do.  Kendall still loves to raise her voice and say "right now!" when asking for something, which just gets chuckles from us (occasionally time outs when she goes overboard).  Kendall is still a very tender heart.  We bought twin by twin bunk beds for them recently but haven't fully put them together yet.

Next appointment:  May 1st.

Frozen Embryo Decisions

The decision was made on this a couple weeks ago.  It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to make.  I would still have loved to donate them to another couple but in the end we felt this was the right decision.  We originally had arranged to donate our remaining embryos to another couple during our first frozen cycle.  A week before the transfer we received news they had experienced a chemical pregnancy and would be trying on their own for a while at advice of their doctor.  We held off on looking for another couple and experienced a failed cycle.  I didn't think that I would want to but I found myself wanting to give it one more shot and a strong feeling that fate had stepped into the process to allow us to make that decision, as we originally planned to donate them as soon as the transfer was complete.  We decided to give it one more go at a frozen cycle and here we are 14 weeks pregnant (yep kind of feeling fate/God wanted this baby with us).

We learned more about the ratings and quality of our frozen embryos during this process of attempting to donate.  They weren't as great as I remembered.  In fact we only had a couple early blasts and mostly morulas frozen.  Granted the ones we did thaw ended up reaching blast stage in time for transfer but still they left a lot to wonder about odds of success.  The remaining four embryos in one straw were supposedly the poorest of the bunch.  We didn't like the idea of giving someone poor odds and a strong possibility of great disappointment, especially after experiencing our failed cycle.  We also didn't want to take the choice away from the couple we originally offered them too.  So I contacted them again and offered the remaining embyros to them with explanation of odds and frozen quality.  They asked for time to consider it and after a week or two they contacted us again with their decision.  They turned them down.  They weren't comfortable with the idea of a possible failure at that time in their lives and didn't want to be holding onto them hoping that a time would come when they would be.  With their decision made we came to a decision on our end as well.  We agreed that we didn't believe there were great odds with these embryos and would likely not wish to try again ourselves even if the worst were to happen with this pregnancy.  We didn't want to spend more money freezing them and looking for another recipient we would feel as good about as the first.  So with that we signed paperwork to have them discarded.

It's both nice and somewhat sad to have that chapter and option closed.  We look forward to having our family complete and welcoming this little one though.  So good things are still to come.

Update: 13 weeks

Baby update:  Our appointment was on Monday, April 1st.  Kendall and Seren came with us to the appointment.  Everything checked out to be just fine.  I was a little worried still as I have such small bloat feeling but all was well.  The baby measured 13.5 weeks.  There was a second of worry with one leg but the image was off due to leg/ankle crossing.  So as of now everything is fine and on target.  We heard the heartbeat again with the girls and they were excited and seemed to understand a little better about the baby idea.

Cookie Tossing Count:  This is getting better.  I switched to gummy/chewable prenatal vitamins.  I only really want to gag when I cough too much from the extra mucus going on.  I have to take my thyroid medicine in the morning and not eat for an hour after so that's not really helping the morning ick but it's starting to be better.

Cravings:  Salad with ranch dressing, black cherry soda (not too much) and chocolate muffins.

Symptoms:  More stretchy cramps and a little more bloated feeling.  Not showing though really just my lovely POF/POI spare tire.  I have been losing a little weight...I'm sure due to the nausea but I also think because my hormones actually are "normal" during pregnancy so it's easier to come off.

Notes from appointment:  We were given pretty good odds that this little one will be a boy.

Day to Day:  I'm starting to feel like I can clean and do laundry again without nausea.  Now I have just developed bad habits of not doing so over the last few weeks haha.  I'm starting to gather girls clothes and things to donate or sell once we know for sure.  Jeff started a new job.  He is no longer in a conflict of interest with his new job so he can start his investment management business.  Excited for him.

The Girls:  The girls were both not initially happy at hearing the gender news (although the first thing Kendall said when asked what mommy had in her tummy was "a boy" before we even got to the baby explanation).  We asked if they were okay with a brother and they both shook their heads no.  They have warmed up to the idea a little though and proudly announced to their different grandparents over the phone about a "baby brother".

Next visit:  May 1st.

Update: 11 weeks (basically)

Baby update:   I'm taking it everything is fine.  I still get nauseous but that's about it and that is starting to be off and on day to day.  I don't really feel bloated or like there's a growing human in there but considering there's lots of room to grow in my torso I'm not going to worry.  I have but I'm not going to anymore.

Cookie Tossing Count:  A handful of times now.  I have been bad and been skipping my prenatal vitamins the last week or so because they make me gag usually and don't stay down anyway.  Hoping to start stomaching them again in the next week or two.

Cravings:  Nothing.  The nausea increased the last week or so and nothing has sounded good.  Ramen will usually chill it out and peanut butter sandwiches occasionally but nothing was actually delicious.  I finally had an appetite today and treated myself to grilled chicken sandwich at Wendy's...boy was I stuffed.  My stomach must have shrunk but it tasted good.

Symptoms:  Morning nausea (usually gone by dinner time).  Very occasional stretchy cramps but that's about it.

Recent Events:  We signed paperwork to discard our remaining embryos.  That's a post in itself.  I'm still awaiting the call from our clinic to confirm verbally before they proceed.

Day to Day:  I feel like I barely get to the grocery store lately.  I went today...yeah there is some food in the cupboard again.

The Girls:  We haven't told them about baby news yet.  We ask them occasionally if they want a sibling but get mixed reactions.  We are planning to tell them about it prior to next appointment and bring them with us.  I hope they are excited but we'll see.  We put them into booster seats in hopes of fitting a car seat without the need for a new car.  Jeff is still unsure it'll work.  The girls love the boosters though.

Next visit:  April 1st.

Update: 9 weeks

Baby update:  growth is on target or a day or so ahead.  My ob initially bumped up my due date to October 6th but we agreed it's somewhere in Oct 6th to Oct 9th range since it was via IVF and hard to get original dates wrong.  Heartbeat was going strong still.  I was told we might be able to find out the gender next visit (April 1st) but I kind of think that it would still be majority guessing.

Cookie Tossing Count:  1 time.  I tried to swallow my two prenatals, calcium pill and little estrogen pill in one shot.  I failed and caused a gag reflex and the rest is history.   I've been nauseous at night but have been making it through with food, water and breathing.  I also took up "smiling like a maniac" as recommended by Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs (Season 8 episode 3 on NetFlix if you feel like a laugh and a little grossing out too).  Anyway you fake a huge smile with all your teeth...surprisingly it kind of works.

Notes from appointment:  I have a week left of shots (well whenever the vial runs out) and Dr B think this will be plenty sufficient as he called it a "good strong implantation".  We started a DVD for this kiddo, their office records all the ultrasounds on a DVD for you to keep (love that part).  We were decently far along when we started here with the girls so their DVD is hard to discern much out of...jumble of legs and arms

Cravings:  Ramen, salad, potato chips, chocolate muffins and a Quiznos sub (pretty much a lot of the same food I craved with the girls).

Symptoms:  Evening nausea (sometimes afternoon).  Stretchy pain which I guess Dr B said is more common with second pregnancy.

Next visit:  April 1st.

First Dentist Appointment

Kendall and Seren had their first dental appointments.  I should have taken a picture of their cute little bodies in that big ol' dental chair but I didn't.  They both did soooo good.  I was surprised.  Kendall watched Seren go first.  Seren was a total pro and acted like it was something she did every day.  Then even though nerves grabbed hold of Kendall a little, while watching Seren, she still managed to climb up and get through her cleaning without crying.  Both such brave girls.  The dental hygienist had them wear sunglasses when she shined the light on their teeth...they loved that part.  And the dentist "pulled" a ring out of their mouth which they thought was totally magical.  They loved it.  We were happy it was good first experience.

Jeff and I also had our teeth cleaned.  Holy cow!  It's been 5 years...crazy.  We are okay about doctors but our last dentist was not very good and we've just put it off.  Surprise...no cavities.  Okay so they couldn't do x-rays on my teeth for obvious reasons but Jeff only had some "sensitive or starter" spots and mine looked good from what could be told.  I will definitely need to head back after this kiddo has arrived to see a better picture of my dental health.

Quiet Around Here...

It's been quiet around here.  Mostly because my back still hurts a little...I've been nursing it and taking it easy but it still isn't the greatest to sit in front of a computer with.  I've been feeling nauseous.  Not horrible and still keeping it on the inside but it's just left me feeling very blah-like and unmotivated, as can be seen by the state of my home and laundry.  I hope mercy shines down in the next few days so I can get caught up again.  It does make me realize I make a pretty good impact and significant difference at home so that's the positive side.

We contacted the couple we considered donating the remaining embryos to before.  I'm not sure they will want to use them.  I wouldn't blame them.  If they were frozen in order then really there are only morulas that remain and no guarantee they would survive.  If this couple doesn't want to use the embryos then I believe we have decided to donate them to research instead.  I know there is a small chance of a pregnancy from those embryos but it wouldn't be for us and I'm not sure I could feel good about putting the larger risk of disappointment onto someone else.  So we are just waiting to see what our original intended couple decides and go from there.

Other than that things are going well.  No spotting or major symptoms that are wreaking havoc on me.  Just enjoying the time with my girls and making plans to get out and enjoy the warm days that are coming.