Not Feeling It...

I'm good at keeping secrets.  I really am.  So I hope Jeff will let this one slide since the only real life family or friends that read this is my parents.  And since they now know I figure it's only fair to let my online support group in on it too.  So far so good.  According to a few different home pregnancy tests everything was successful.  I am pregnant.  And I definitely am not feeling it so every one of those tests is like "really?" "are you sure?" for me.  I have a little bloat and I'm typically cold all the time but nothing else is new.  I didn't feel very different with the girls either so I guess I shouldn't expect much.  And honestly I hope it goes down the road I had with them...easy pregnancy with no morning sickness, no blood pressure problems, etc.

How pregnant?  Well I dared to test 4 days post transfer and it came up a few minutes later...so we're a little worried about it being more than one.  Only time will tell.  Also, we should have beta results tomorrow (two days earlier than planned).  Since my hives came back the nurse wants to check my hind side and clear me to keep using this oil prescription.  Honestly I'm not sure I'll have hives to report.  I seem to be back in the clear with the new leave the needle in, quickly take it out and wipe area down with an alcohol swab method.  But am I going to pass up an earlier test?  Heck no. So yeah!! for now.

Hives Are Back...

Well the hives are back.  Not with vengeance as of yet but annoying still.  We had a few bleeders in a row from the last couple shots.  The shots from Saturday and Sunday left decent bruises and swelling around it.  I thought maybe the bruise was causing me to itch but it would appear to be another hive.  So fun!  I was missing those guys.  I looked up hive prevention and read that anytime that progesterone oil came in contact with skin that it could cause irritation.  The person recommended cleaning the area again after a shot and putting a bandaid on, saying this fixed her hives.  So I emailed our clinic with the problem and my plan.  They said they would need to check my progesterone absorption and we could switch oils again if my efforts weren't helpful.  We also left the needle in for a little bit after the injection was done (as the nurse recommended last time) and taking the needle out swiftly.  Both seemed to help cause less blood and less oil leaking.  I cleaned it with an alcohol swab and slapped a band aid on it.  This morning I had no hive from that shot (yeah!!) but a nice red band aid mark after removal.  Really universe?  You can't give me a break.  I'm just glad it seems to be a way to help with this issue and thought I'd share in case anyone else comes across this problem.

Itching to Get My Beta....

Literally!!  This has been a very non-fun experience.  Especially the last 4 days or so.  Last night I had two giant hives on my backside.  We tried cortizone cream and it helped for maybe an hour.  And it didn't get rid of the stiff feeling of swelling in my back which is what hurt to sit, lean or sleep on and was more bothersome than the itching.  What a shitty way to end all of this.  Yep I'm admitting it.  I'm pretty sure it's the end of this one.  I would be shocked as hell if my beta came up with anything.  Which sucks cause I went into this so positive especially after the odds we were given.  I felt like things were working and noticed things that I didn't remember noticing with the girls.  Cramping, twinging, etc.  Now I don't feel anything different.  Part of me wonders if my body went crazy with the PIO reactions and had some autoimmune response, killing any chances.  I basically have two autoimmune conditions with Graves Disease and POF/POI so why wouldn't that be a possibility.

I've run out of ideas on comfort food.  I've had onion rings, chicken pot pie and hot wings in the last few days.  What's next on the menu?  Need to find the ultimate comfort food I think.  Deep fried mushrooms?  Ultimate Skillet at Village Inn?  French Onion Soup?  Kung Pow Chicken at my favorite chinese restaurant?  I guess there are still endless possibilities.  Wish the same could be said for other matters of business right now.

I think I'll buy one more test for the morning before the beta and call it a day.

Pressure Is On...

Well the little needle sticks with a little itching turned into small itchy bumps, and then itchy hives and now one big itchy hive that covers my entire left injection side.  One email about the itching and basic advice from the nurse about PIO shots and moving around the prevent lumps and if it got red, swollen or really itchy they might need to see me.

Well this happened:

Day 1:  Injection to left side on Saturday morning...Sunday morning it looked like this.

And then a couple days and one shot later it looked like this:

Day 3:  Left side swelling has gone beyond our Day 2 outline to see if it was getting worse

I emailed the IVF nurses once in between with a picture saying I didn't think it was normal but that I could handle hives and itching until the beta was done.  I never really heard back that day so I thought they were okay with my plan.  Then Day 3 (today) happened and I decided I better email them more directly (not through the mychart system via the hospital they are related to).  I emailed the IVF nurses a series of  the pictures directly and said I was pretty sure this wasn't normal or okay anymore.

I recieved a phone call a couple hours later that no this wasn't normal and that they didn't want me to wait until Sunday/Monday beta results.  Basically saying that sometimes when you've done PIO shots before that your body can build up a localized reaction to them.  It doesn't affect the progesterone but obviously isn't good for your sanity or tissue long term.  The nurse advised me that they do have a different PIO mixture with a different oil/base but that most pharmacy's don't just carry it so they would have to order it (most likely mail order it).  Since we don't want to be ordering more medicine if it isn't necessary they want me to go in for my beta early (Friday) and be sure to get same day results.  That way if I am pregnant they will know to order and get the process going so my body can stop reactions (hopefully).

I feel like a ticking time bomb.  Sunday was nice enough to go in for a blood test and I asked to go to a more local lab on Saturday and that was okay.  Now it's going to be on Friday instead.  The nurse assured me that they would be able to tell by a blood test by then if I was pregnant but to me it just seems so much closer especially since I have taken a couple pregnancy tests at home that have been pretty basically been negative.  So I feel like not much can change in that arena in the next 3 days.  Who knows in the end I guess...maybe it'll be better to get out of 2 week wait hell sooner than later.

She's Lump...

I've been trying to make up lyrics to that song for a day or two as my lumps have consistently been appearing after each shot now.  No more big bruises yet but lumps, some itching and even slight swelling from Saturday's shot.  I emailed the IVF nurses a picture of that because I'm concerned it could be an allergic reaction. Anyone know if that interferes with progesterone absorption?

Anyway I found another song to change lyrics on while watching Tangled with the girls.  From the 'I've Got A Dream' song if you want to hum along ;-)  Thought it might be good for a laugh...

"I've got lumps and bumps and bruises.  Sometimes my oil oozes. Let's not even mention my allergic reaction.  But despite my IVF woes and whether I'm pregnant well who knows, we really want this embie to make a good connection"