11 Months Old

Height/Weight:  Nothing exact...next appointment they will be a year old.  They are on the small/skinny side a little...I can still get them into some 6-9 month clothes (maybe Carter's run big) and one pair of sweaters that are 3-6 months (these definitely run big hehe)

Eating:  6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 4+ ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces). Oh and finger foods or snacks.  I usually give them a snack in the morning and while we eat dinner.

Foods They Like:  Seriously I think they like everything.  They have their favorites though...for example when I've given them cheese and cheerios together Seren will eat all of the cheese first and have cheerios left and Kendall will eat all of the cheerios first and have cheese left.  They love yams, yogurt, any fruit and most veggies.

Foods They Don't:  Kendall is getting sick of prunes in her cereal for breakfast but still has constipation so we replaced it with apple juice.  Still not big fans of avocado.

Favorite Things:  They still love each other (more and more).  They "play" with one another...sometimes just sitting and laughing (no idea what is so funny).  Jeff likes to play "the blanket game" with them (tossing a blanket over one's head and having the other pull it off...they seem to think this is hilarious).  They also like to use objects to push around the room (Seren uses an empty jumbo diaper box to shuffle around and Kendall likes the lion push toy).  They love their spoons...I keep a couple with their toys because they love to chew on them and bang them together and have mini spoon fights.  They love to watch Thor run around when he's hyper. 

Dislikes:  Being hungry and tired.  Teething is probably a dislike although it doesn't seem to bother either of them too much.

Their Accomplishments:  They pull up on everything.  They climb up stairs (supervised of course).  They shuffle more.  They try to crawl differently now (like they know there is a better way to get around but haven't figured it out yet).  They have both stood on their own now independent of us holding them up.  Seren seems to be better at this as she is starting to pull up and do it on her own without our encouragement.  Kendall babbles a lot more now and is becoming more vocal, although Seren is still more chatty.  Seren has also become more shy though and hides in our shoulder when people approach her or want to hold her (she has definitely been a mommy's girl the last few weeks).  Kendall seems more open socially and likes to watch people and smile at them.  They bathe in the big girl tub and absolutely LOVE it...they splash and laugh and bang toys together.  They are understanding language more.  Mostly I notice this when they are doing something they are not supposed to (ie using a lamp to stand up or pulling hair) and I tell them "no" and sometimes they get their feelings hurt and cry.  They also are more affectionate...giving hugs sometimes and trying to give kisses (open mouth slobber all over you kind of kisses). 

Our Accomplishments:  Still on a great schedule generally.  The weekends usually mix them up a little as we go to family dinners and hang out with friends occasionally.  

Sleep:  Same bedtime routine and works like a charm (especially when a bath is included).  They sleep between 11-12 hours at night.  Their naps are a little more wonky the past couple weeks.  I'm wondering if they are trying to drop the morning nap for a longer afternoon one or what.

Looking forward to:  Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around.  More freedom with food (although having more freedom now I'm realizing this will just mean more work in preparing meals; no more freezer cubed baby food).  Most of their 1st birthday is planned and prepped now so looking forward to that.  Also looking forward to their first Christmas too of course.

DE Mom musings:  Mostly this only came up in regards to gratitude this month.  I think of our donor fondly and I'm grateful for this woman who gave us the most beautiful and selfless gift.  I get more comfortable referring to the donor when husband and I are talking or with the girls.  I think this will be a pretty natural topic for me (I hope).

 Seren being entertained by dad

 Kendall in a chill mood

Getting two crawlers to stay in the same picture frame (impossible)...poor Kendall got upset with me for putting her back next to Seren

Holiday Cards

We weren't going to do holiday cards this year.  And I still don't love the idea of sending out cards with a picture (I remember the "ouch" feeling in my gut when we got these before having the girls) but then Groupon came out with a super deal and I was weak.  Anyway...thought I'd share some of the adorable pictures we took of the girls in their dresses (got them second hand for $3 a piece...can you believe it?)

 Kendall was in a really good mood

 Seren not so much but you can't tell she was crying minutes before this

 Checking each other out

The final product

What Debt of Gratitude Is Mine?

*title is from the lyrics to God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son...found in the LDS Hymn book*

I have seen a lot of my friends posting gratitude for the month of November on Facebook.  This is all fine and dandy but I don't want to publicize it to that point (and I'm a late starter hehe) and some of my greatest gratitude this year is also private things I don't want to make so far known.  So here is a Top Ten List of things I am most grateful for:

1.  I am grateful for my husband, Jeff.  That he has been by my side through thick and thin (and still is)
2.  I am grateful for my daughters, Kendall and Seren.  I can't think of my gratitude for the blessing they are without getting tearful.
3.  I am grateful to my parents.  They molded who I am today through love, guidance and support.  They are great examples to me and give their all for their family.
4.  I am grateful to my in-laws.  I enjoy spending time with them and have never dreaded a family dinner.  They raised up a wonderful man and support our family.
5.  I am grateful for modern medicine and ART and our fertility clinic (UCRM).  If it weren't for these things my kiddos would not have been possible.
6.  I am forever grateful to our donor.  Even though she is anonymous I do think of her and hope that in some way she knows the enormous gratitude we owe her through her selfless gift.
7.  I am grateful to be provided for.  We have jobs, we have a home, we clothes on our backs and food on the table what more could we want for.
8.  I am grateful for my siblings and Jeff's siblings (they should probably be higher up the list but I didn't want to renumber).  I enjoy all of my siblings and I'm grateful for the things that they teach me and help they offer.
9.  I am grateful for modern transportation and that it makes it easier to get things done and to actually see my family.
10.  I am grateful for family traditions.  I can't wait to celebrate the holiday with our families and also as a family.  With that I am grateful for the reason for the season.  I may still be working on my relationship towards Christ and my Heavenly Father but I know that they exist and I know that they love me no matter what.

Money Whoas

For the last while I've been driven bonkers about money again.  Not the fact that our budget is a little snug...I'm honestly not worried about our money other than we need to pay off minimal credit card debt.  No it's been driving me nuts because every little mention of money turns into my good friend telling me or sometimes even Jeff that they are strapped for cash.  And I'm not talking like I complain about money to her...I don't.  She asks what Kendall and Seren are getting for Christmas and I say clothes (as in clothes previously bought and hanging in their closet that became Christmas because I needed something to wrap) and she asks why no toys so I say we can't really afford it.  And she says how she knows the feeling after just telling me about all the toys and clothes they've already gotten her daughter for Christmas and asking her husband if maybe they should get the one they were thinking about too.  She complains to me about money like it's a huge burden for them as they purchase a blu-ray just because they wanted to watch it that night and she spends $150 on laser hair removal for her legs (even if it was a great deal).  I simply state that we can't afford things when she wants to play or asks about buying something and in turn I hear her bemoan their money fate.

But I think I finally decided why it bothers me.  It's not that I think we are so bad off...please it could be lots worse and I'm so grateful for what I have.  Sometimes I think it's simply because I feel like her buying things or doing things means that she is providing more for her daughter.  Which is such a stupid notion to think I know but that's what I thought out loud today and realized oh wow that's why it bugs me.  Because she's able to get things for her kid (new things) and I feel like I can't spend very much on them and if I do it's all second hand and previously owned.  You know what though even if we had money to burn I would still shop thrifty.  It's who I am.  It's who my mom made me out to be.  Yes my friend is thrifty and likes a good deal as much as I (it's part of why we're good friends) but I think I take it to a whole-nutha-level lately.

So for anyone struggling with the economy I say this:  buying things is not necessarily providing.  Money doesn't buy time or love that you give to your children, spouse or other loved one.  Those are things that making money will never be able to provide and that sometimes may even interfere with being able to provide (ie the all consuming job...thanks Jeff for realizing family was and is more important than big money).  Love my girls.  Love my family.  And I know that we provide everything (and more) than they need and if they have to rub up against my hairy legs once in a while because I don't have time to shave or money to get lasered...well so be it.

*I do love my friend and I am glad she can do as she desires (within her means as well) but just wanted to share my epiphany.  Oh and I do know how to spell woes...just playing on words here*

Dear Babies...

I saw this video on a Google site or advertisement and fell in the love with the idea.  I immediately signed the girls up for emails (PS They have to be at least 18 years old to have a gmail account...I gave them my birthday hehe) and began writing them.  So far their inbox only has a few emails each.  But I plan on keeping it up and getting Jeff to write them too (at least occasionally) and maybe including grandparents once in a while too.  I hope so anyway...sometimes I dream big :)

Donor Egg Choice

Using donor eggs to get pregnant was never something I felt was a forced choice.  True it wasn't fantastic news to find out I couldn't get pregnant naturally and it would cost so much to have kids.  And I definitely went through some grieving over a loss of genetics...something I thought was so important at the time.  But I was still so grateful to know I had a chance to get pregnant and carry our children.  A pretty good chance based on my diagnosis and according to my research.

In all honesty we had other choices we could have made.  We could have pursued adoption.  We could have lived child free.  We could have kept trying things with my own body (we never got too crazy with this).  We chose donor eggs because it made the most sense to us.  We wanted a family; there was no doubt about that.  It was what we felt was the best guarantee and it allowed us more control over our situation.  When it came to infertility that was something I really wanted...a feeling of control.  We controlled the timeline not some adoption agency or pregnant woman looking through profiles.  We controlled the prenatal care these children would receive.  There wasn't someone else in charge or someone who could take the possibility of a child away from us (at least if we had trust in our donor which we did based on her prior cycles and history).  It was the best choice for us.

So when I read informational articles, news or other blogs that act as if women are forced into this decision and are mourning their losses the whole way or even worse after they are blessed with children through donor egg...it really irks me.  I honestly don't think it's true for most women of donor egg children.  I just feel like some may rush into donor egg and not really process it all and truly accept it as a good route and choice for them.  But truth be told there were and are other options.  They chose this and to look at it as anything that was forced by the hand they were dealt makes me feel like those beautiful and amazing gifts they were given are being discredited.

Yes it can be hard to give up some piece of your dream and have it realized another way.  But it is still realized.  For me I feel like it has been realized beyond anything I ever dreamed of before or after infertility became a part of my life.