The donor specialist "appointment"

Jeff and I tried to go to an appointment with the egg donor specialist yesterday. Emphasis is on "tried". What a joke. We sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes before Jeff asked the receptionist what was going on. Then we waited another 10 minutes before the specialist called us in. Then she apologized and had the nerve to tell us she didn't know about the appointment and didn't have it written down. She proceded to try and ask me about history and the doctor we were working with and told me she didn't have my file available either...I guess I shouldn't have expected her to since she didn't have the appointment written down. But I think it just sunk in at that point and really set me off. I snapped at her and said "Are you kidding me? You don't have my file and you're not even prepared for this meeting? Forget it! We're leaving!" And I got up and stormed out of her office and out of the Clinic office with Jeff following behind me. I was livid and it just annoys me. You set an appointment expecting them to have information and to get answers...stuff you've been thinking about and looking forward to learning more about for a few weeks or more and then they totally drop the ball. I contacted Dr. G's office and asked them who to file a formal complaint with and we're going that route.

We even considered other clinics but the only other one in Utah doesn't have the best success rates or experience with donor egg and it costs more. The one's outside of Utah cost around $32k and that's not including travel expense, etc. So in the long run it looks like we are stuck with this clinic. I will definitely be checking on how involved this woman would be in a cycle though...like if she monitors or has anything to do with it past selecting a donor then I will be expressing my concerns left and right.

Worries...

I am just feeling worried about things right now. I'm worried about my job...or lack thereof. I know that quitting DCFS was the right thing to do but I'm stressed that I don't have a concrete plan of attack now. I'm worried about money...money to get by, money to save and money that is in savings and if it will be able to stay there. I realize I'm just getting discouraged and I know it'll be okay and better in the long run.

We also have an appointment with the egg donor specialist on Monday. We aren't planning to pursue anything anytime soon but we want to get a better idea of what we are getting into. I'm not sure how I will take the appointment. I don't think I've had a doctor's appointment regarding POF that I haven't cried at. I want to know what to expect and I want to be excited about all of these things but I'm just really nervous too.

Seemingly normal

I stopped taking my HRT (hormone replacement) a couple weeks ago. I had some issues with breakthrough periods...most likely from not replacing patches and forgetting them because of how stressed I've been lately. I decided to stop taking the HRT for a while and get a fresh start in a month or so. I also don't know what I will do with HRT since I will be quitting my job next week and insurance will be an issue.

The thing that bothers me is that I feel fine still. Most women with POF go off of HRT and they start feeling like crap and having hot flashes and such. I didn't have signs when POF struck me (besides missing periods) and I don't seem to be having issues now. My joints are a little more achey but I don't know if that's a symptom or just a random thing. It just is irritating...I almost wish I felt more crappy off of HRT because I feel like then it would be more concrete that something is wrong with my body. But instead on the outside I am seemingly normal...despite having mixed up and menopausal level hormones going on inside my body.