It Won't Be Like This For Long...

The girls are two weeks old now. Two weeks of loving them, feeding them, diapering them and loosing sleep. Oh sleep how we miss you :) hehe You have to laugh or you might cry from exhaustion. I just hope that Jeff is surviving. I try to take care of them at night the best I can with juggling but there are many times when I can't and Jeff is always good to get them from the crib, feed them or cuddle with them despite the fact he is exhausted. I hope we can get their schedules more on track with his.

Anyway during the hard times I think of how soon enough they will be bigger and sleep longer and then things will be a little easier. Then I think of the country song about this and how quickly they will grow and how much you'll miss it when it's gone. So I definitely try to enjoy the little moments and adorable babies that we have now and try not to mentally trade them in for babies that will sleep through the night. It always makes me teary eyed to think of them growing up so fast and getting bigger. Especially knowing this may be our only time with little newborn babies. But I'm so grateful that things worked for us and for Kendall and Seren to be here. I know they were meant to be a part of our family and I can't wait (okay yes I can) to watch them grow.

Songs and music

I believe that the music and lyrics of some music is meant to inspire us and comfort us. I have found many songs over the last couple of years that brought me comfort and motivation to keep going. I've added some to this blog and also some to my iPod. I have had moments in my life (related and unrelated to infertility) where I will hear a song at just the time that I need to and it brings peace. I have heard of others with similar experiences with music. I feel like these times are sometimes when God is trying to reach into our lives and speak to us when maybe we aren't ready to be on our knees.

The song below is one of the first inspiring songs that I heard after being diagnosed with POF/POI and searching the internet and youtube for information. This song inspired the title of my blog. However it has recently had issues playing on my playlist (and being the OCD girl I can be it was driving me nuts) and I wasn't able to find another version so...I decided to move it to this post.

Song on the radio...

This is probably a somewhat nonsense or silly entry. My friend Brooke has posted songs on her blog that remind her of each of her family members and it started me thinking like that a little. Then I heard this Rascall Flatts song on the radio and I pictured this as being a song that would remind me of a child that we'll eventually have...I guess it reminds me that even though there will be hard times with infertility and POF and everything else we'll go through, that in the end it will be worth it and I imagine that I would go through it all over again to have that child with us someday....

I know now the place that I was trying to reach
Was you, right here in front of me and I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin' and I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

It's amazing what I let my heart go through
To get me where it got me in this moment here with you
And it passed me by God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd find I know now,
there's a million roads I had to take to get (you) in (my) arms this way

And if thats the road God made me take to be with you
Then I wouldn't change a thing I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step That led to you and got me here

--Rascall Flatts "Here"