Strange Jealousy

I've been dealing with this for a while now. It's one of those things you don't pay attention to until you realize things will be different for you. I was diagnosed with ovarian failure/insufficiency in 2007 when I was 27. Since then Jeff and I got married (been married almost a year now) and for the first true time in my life I started feeling like I wanted a family someday. But because of my body failing we'll have to go about things quite differently in that area of life. The only reliable options for a family at this point are adoption or donor egg invitro... meaning I will genetically pass on nothing to my children.

I've started noticing more recently now how kids can look so much like their parents...I especially notice this with little girls that look so much like their mom. I used to imagine or picture this little girl I would have one day and how she would have my blue eyes or quirky smile. Now I realize I'll probably never have that and I'm insanely jealous of those that do. It seems like such a strange thing to be jealous of but I am. I hope that I'll come out stronger at the end of this trial because at the moment I feel like this has made me realize nothing but my weaknesses and they are many. Just my thoughts right now.

Good luck...bad luck day :-S

Well the bad thing is my day was crazy :P I ended up with a slight fender scrape accident while coming back from lunch. Stinky nerd cut into my lane and turned right into me. And then to top off my day at work I ended up with a 5-pack removal of kids. What a juggling act! I thought I was going in for a stint of bad luck. But then Jeff and I went and looked at houses tonight and found one we really like. So maybe our/my luck is about to change. Wish us luck with it all.

House Hunting

Jeff and I are excited to begin looking at houses (again) hehe Things are looking on the up and up this time around and we're hoping to find something we really love. We're looking anywhere from Bountiful to Layton with different things to consider with each. I'm excited to get into a home. And more then anything right now I'm excited for a DISHWASHER :) It'll be awesome.