The decision was made on this a couple weeks ago. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to make. I would still have loved to donate them to another couple but in the end we felt this was the right decision. We originally had arranged to donate our remaining embryos to another couple during our first frozen cycle. A week before the transfer we received news they had experienced a chemical pregnancy and would be trying on their own for a while at advice of their doctor. We held off on looking for another couple and experienced a failed cycle. I didn't think that I would want to but I found myself wanting to give it one more shot and a strong feeling that fate had stepped into the process to allow us to make that decision, as we originally planned to donate them as soon as the transfer was complete. We decided to give it one more go at a frozen cycle and here we are 14 weeks pregnant (yep kind of feeling fate/God wanted this baby with us).
We learned more about the ratings and quality of our frozen embryos during this process of attempting to donate. They weren't as great as I remembered. In fact we only had a couple early blasts and mostly morulas frozen. Granted the ones we did thaw ended up reaching blast stage in time for transfer but still they left a lot to wonder about odds of success. The remaining four embryos in one straw were supposedly the poorest of the bunch. We didn't like the idea of giving someone poor odds and a strong possibility of great disappointment, especially after experiencing our failed cycle. We also didn't want to take the choice away from the couple we originally offered them too. So I contacted them again and offered the remaining embyros to them with explanation of odds and frozen quality. They asked for time to consider it and after a week or two they contacted us again with their decision. They turned them down. They weren't comfortable with the idea of a possible failure at that time in their lives and didn't want to be holding onto them hoping that a time would come when they would be. With their decision made we came to a decision on our end as well. We agreed that we didn't believe there were great odds with these embryos and would likely not wish to try again ourselves even if the worst were to happen with this pregnancy. We didn't want to spend more money freezing them and looking for another recipient we would feel as good about as the first. So with that we signed paperwork to have them discarded.
It's both nice and somewhat sad to have that chapter and option closed. We look forward to having our family complete and welcoming this little one though. So good things are still to come.
Showing posts with label embryo donation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embryo donation. Show all posts
Friday, April 11, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Quiet Around Here...
It's been quiet around here. Mostly because my back still hurts a little...I've been nursing it and taking it easy but it still isn't the greatest to sit in front of a computer with. I've been feeling nauseous. Not horrible and still keeping it on the inside but it's just left me feeling very blah-like and unmotivated, as can be seen by the state of my home and laundry. I hope mercy shines down in the next few days so I can get caught up again. It does make me realize I make a pretty good impact and significant difference at home so that's the positive side.
We contacted the couple we considered donating the remaining embryos to before. I'm not sure they will want to use them. I wouldn't blame them. If they were frozen in order then really there are only morulas that remain and no guarantee they would survive. If this couple doesn't want to use the embryos then I believe we have decided to donate them to research instead. I know there is a small chance of a pregnancy from those embryos but it wouldn't be for us and I'm not sure I could feel good about putting the larger risk of disappointment onto someone else. So we are just waiting to see what our original intended couple decides and go from there.
Other than that things are going well. No spotting or major symptoms that are wreaking havoc on me. Just enjoying the time with my girls and making plans to get out and enjoy the warm days that are coming.
We contacted the couple we considered donating the remaining embryos to before. I'm not sure they will want to use them. I wouldn't blame them. If they were frozen in order then really there are only morulas that remain and no guarantee they would survive. If this couple doesn't want to use the embryos then I believe we have decided to donate them to research instead. I know there is a small chance of a pregnancy from those embryos but it wouldn't be for us and I'm not sure I could feel good about putting the larger risk of disappointment onto someone else. So we are just waiting to see what our original intended couple decides and go from there.
Other than that things are going well. No spotting or major symptoms that are wreaking havoc on me. Just enjoying the time with my girls and making plans to get out and enjoy the warm days that are coming.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Waiting, Hoping, Wishing and Looking Again (most likely)...
We have our transfer set for 7:45 am tomorrow. We are hoping that it works and that one little embryo sticks around. We would take two for sure but we are hoping for just one still. We won't know the expected success rates until we arrive and talk to the doctor. There are 3 blastocysts in this straw but since they were frozen prior to the vitrification technology being at our lab it is very unlikely they will all survive the thaw. We hope that two will survive and be strong contenders. The nerves and reality still don't seem to sink in yet. We are so blessed to have this opportunity to try though. So very grateful that we have been blessed so greatly so far and hope that maybe we can get lucky one more time.
We received word from our hopeful recipient couple and as we somewhat expected they are desirous to try for a pregnancy on their own, at the advice of their doctor. He believes that the chemical pregnancy may "jump start" her system into remembering what it is supposed to do and advised them to try on their own without IVF for the next 4-6 months. If it were us in their shoes I'm sure that we would be doing the same thing so it was easy enough to understand. I am hopeful for them but at the same time the words "jump start" and such sounded a lot like the hope I was given with my POF diagnosis and the suggestion of doing birth control to remind my body of it's purpose and they have been trying for 6 years until this point. I wonder if they will be successful. Maybe we'll never know. We've basically left it with the statement that we will be waiting to consider our donation options again until this cycle ends or until a later time in a pregnancy if it is successful. We will be looking at other couples and options once we feel confident in our decision to do so. If time goes on and we do find ourselves at the end of their time frame still looking for a resolve with a match then we are both okay with reconnecting and completing what was put in motion and has now been halted.
It is disappointing in that I think we both really liked this couple and felt comfortable in the prospect of donating to them. But on the other side it doesn't feel like a great loss but perhaps even a comfort in that if we do get attached to the idea of a child and this cycle isn't successful that we can still pursue another round. Jeff laughs at me with this idea but I don't think we'll know how we feel until the results are in. I was originally okay with moving on with our girls but now given this possibility back (and the beyond gracious funding of this cycle by my parents) it isn't completely off the table for us to try again sometime after the holidays.
I still hope beyond hope that this will just work this time and to not be disappointed but only the next couple weeks will tell. And then the weeks to follow after that if necessary as well.
We received word from our hopeful recipient couple and as we somewhat expected they are desirous to try for a pregnancy on their own, at the advice of their doctor. He believes that the chemical pregnancy may "jump start" her system into remembering what it is supposed to do and advised them to try on their own without IVF for the next 4-6 months. If it were us in their shoes I'm sure that we would be doing the same thing so it was easy enough to understand. I am hopeful for them but at the same time the words "jump start" and such sounded a lot like the hope I was given with my POF diagnosis and the suggestion of doing birth control to remind my body of it's purpose and they have been trying for 6 years until this point. I wonder if they will be successful. Maybe we'll never know. We've basically left it with the statement that we will be waiting to consider our donation options again until this cycle ends or until a later time in a pregnancy if it is successful. We will be looking at other couples and options once we feel confident in our decision to do so. If time goes on and we do find ourselves at the end of their time frame still looking for a resolve with a match then we are both okay with reconnecting and completing what was put in motion and has now been halted.
It is disappointing in that I think we both really liked this couple and felt comfortable in the prospect of donating to them. But on the other side it doesn't feel like a great loss but perhaps even a comfort in that if we do get attached to the idea of a child and this cycle isn't successful that we can still pursue another round. Jeff laughs at me with this idea but I don't think we'll know how we feel until the results are in. I was originally okay with moving on with our girls but now given this possibility back (and the beyond gracious funding of this cycle by my parents) it isn't completely off the table for us to try again sometime after the holidays.
I still hope beyond hope that this will just work this time and to not be disappointed but only the next couple weeks will tell. And then the weeks to follow after that if necessary as well.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Going For Broke...
Literally. I don't like this stage of infertility treatments. Footing the bill. Watching savings go down to basically zero. This time around we asked for a preemptive loan from my parents with the intent to pay them back with our tax return. Mainly because we didn't want to have the age gap grow and we didn't want the recipient couple to be waiting on us. So there goes money we didn't really even have yet. Stink. We joke about when we are going to get to spend or save a tax return finally. The last three (or is it four?) have gone to saving/paying for infertility treatments, a car loan and now infertility treatments again. Not complaining. Just the fact of how it is. At least we are minimizing or not growing debt right?
Transfer is set for Tuesday morning though. I had my ultrasound yesterday and things were great with a 11.3 lining and the triple stripe (always read about that being important online but never had a doctor use the term until now). Hopefully this will all add up to a good outcome. We will be starting shots tomorrow. Joy. Not looking forward to that part. It feels like it's been sooooo long since the last one. I'm sure it will feel old hat once we get a few days and shots behind us. Still hoping for the full gamut also.
On another side of things in motion right now, our hopeful recipient couple situation has hit a roadblock. They had a very unexpected chemical pregnancy and also a change of clinic policy (no more donor embryo cycles) all come down the chute at once and this has put us on their back burner while they decide what to do next. We're kind of disappointed as it really seemed like a good match for us in personality and outlook for future connection and relationship. We're just waiting to see what their next move is and then we'll figure out if we need to keep looking.
Let the cards fall how they may. We are all in again at this point.
Transfer is set for Tuesday morning though. I had my ultrasound yesterday and things were great with a 11.3 lining and the triple stripe (always read about that being important online but never had a doctor use the term until now). Hopefully this will all add up to a good outcome. We will be starting shots tomorrow. Joy. Not looking forward to that part. It feels like it's been sooooo long since the last one. I'm sure it will feel old hat once we get a few days and shots behind us. Still hoping for the full gamut also.
On another side of things in motion right now, our hopeful recipient couple situation has hit a roadblock. They had a very unexpected chemical pregnancy and also a change of clinic policy (no more donor embryo cycles) all come down the chute at once and this has put us on their back burner while they decide what to do next. We're kind of disappointed as it really seemed like a good match for us in personality and outlook for future connection and relationship. We're just waiting to see what their next move is and then we'll figure out if we need to keep looking.
Let the cards fall how they may. We are all in again at this point.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
All or Nothing
That would seem to be the theme of today's appointment to discuss a frozen cycle. Dr H did our transfer with our first cycle that resulted in Kendall and Seren. Since our other doctor has retired since our last care we decided that we would like to proceed with Dr H. Also we just like him more and find him very competent. Anyway just a side note there.
The main note of course is that a) we can proceed whenever we like due to me being on birth control / hormone replacement and not needing Lupron (yeah for POF). b) he doesn't advise transferring only one embryo during a frozen cycle. c) of the 40% that get pregnant as a result of frozen embryo transfers 1/3 of those end up with a twin pregnancy. So it would seem that this is really all or nothing. To be honest the idea of it scared me at the appointment. I was ready to balk and back out unless it was a single. Yes we made it through twins once but the idea of doing it again with two already in tow was pretty darn terrifying to me. Jeff seemed more to take it in stride. Dr H asked "if you were to have twins again would it be the end of the world?" and I thought Jeff would be the first to say "yeah we're not going to do that" but he was just honest that it was hard but we could do it again if it came to that.
Now that Jeff and I have had a discussion about the chance it doesn't seem as daunting. First of all, the chance of pregnancy with a frozen transfer is still around 40% (not stellar) and second of all if that 40% happens the chance of twins is only 33% or less. So the combined likelihood (according to Jeff's calculation) is about a 13% chance of twins again. I can live with that. Will I be shaking in my boots if the result comes down the line that we might have two sets of twins in our home...yes, yes I probably will be. But for now I feel good about giving it a chance still.
We are waiting to hear back on some matters from our hopeful donation couple and then we will begin moving forward with this little adventure.
The main note of course is that a) we can proceed whenever we like due to me being on birth control / hormone replacement and not needing Lupron (yeah for POF). b) he doesn't advise transferring only one embryo during a frozen cycle. c) of the 40% that get pregnant as a result of frozen embryo transfers 1/3 of those end up with a twin pregnancy. So it would seem that this is really all or nothing. To be honest the idea of it scared me at the appointment. I was ready to balk and back out unless it was a single. Yes we made it through twins once but the idea of doing it again with two already in tow was pretty darn terrifying to me. Jeff seemed more to take it in stride. Dr H asked "if you were to have twins again would it be the end of the world?" and I thought Jeff would be the first to say "yeah we're not going to do that" but he was just honest that it was hard but we could do it again if it came to that.
Now that Jeff and I have had a discussion about the chance it doesn't seem as daunting. First of all, the chance of pregnancy with a frozen transfer is still around 40% (not stellar) and second of all if that 40% happens the chance of twins is only 33% or less. So the combined likelihood (according to Jeff's calculation) is about a 13% chance of twins again. I can live with that. Will I be shaking in my boots if the result comes down the line that we might have two sets of twins in our home...yes, yes I probably will be. But for now I feel good about giving it a chance still.
We are waiting to hear back on some matters from our hopeful donation couple and then we will begin moving forward with this little adventure.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Matching and Moving Forward...
Well as I've posted before we have been looking for a couple to pass on our remaining embryos to. We like to think that we have found a good match for ourselves and for the possible children. I won't go into specifics but they are a couple close to our age with a child and have been trying for a long time to have a sibling(s) without success. We have similar beliefs on how to handle a relationship between ourselves and the children involved, maintaining contact and personal space as well. We are excited about things with this going forward.
It has also made our own plans start rolling. We have been in debate over any other children for at least the past year. We have decided that we would like to give it one more try with a frozen embryo prior to donating. This was stipulated with the couple we are donating to. I think Jeff and I both feel good about this decision. I know that I am both excited and anxious at the thought of how things may or may not turn out. We don't want to pursue more than one more cycle and we are willing to accept the possibility it very easily could turn out negative. If this is the case we will move on with our two beloved daughters and consider ourselves just as blessed. Whatever the case may be I know that for me it has been like a burden of stress and responsibility is lifted to have both decisions being made. Now if I can just wrap my head and heart around the idea of both possibilities.
It has also made our own plans start rolling. We have been in debate over any other children for at least the past year. We have decided that we would like to give it one more try with a frozen embryo prior to donating. This was stipulated with the couple we are donating to. I think Jeff and I both feel good about this decision. I know that I am both excited and anxious at the thought of how things may or may not turn out. We don't want to pursue more than one more cycle and we are willing to accept the possibility it very easily could turn out negative. If this is the case we will move on with our two beloved daughters and consider ourselves just as blessed. Whatever the case may be I know that for me it has been like a burden of stress and responsibility is lifted to have both decisions being made. Now if I can just wrap my head and heart around the idea of both possibilities.
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