Transfer Day

Things could not have gone better today. We got up early and did the PIO shot and then hung around in bed and talked. It was fun to start talking about the future possibility. The weather was rainy and we decided to leave a little early. We arrived pretty much right on time though so that was good. We saw someone we knew in the waiting area and quickly took seats facing the opposite direction, although we're pretty sure they saw us too. We both know each other's story though as I had talked to the wife once about our issue and she had talked about theirs (actually a very pleasant and understanding conversation). The nurse called us back though fairly quickly and that was good.


We were brought into the transfer room and they had a chair that looked like a recliner in it and some soft ambient music. They had me get ready and Jeff sat in the chair next to me. We waited for about a half hour and they came and told us the case before us was somewhat complicated and apologized for the delay. One of the songs I've become attached to during this (Collin Haye "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin") played over the speakers while we waited and for some reason it made me tear up and feel good about things too. Like I've said before I believe that music is meant to inspire us, comfort us and provide us with hope. I also believe that music is sometimes God's way of communicating with us and comforting us.


Dr H was in charge of the transfer and came in and talked to us about our embryos prior to the transfer. Of the 15 eggs that had fertilized and continued to divide there were 13 that had made it to day 5. Typical rate is about 50% so I was expecting around 7 to make it. We were both very surprised and felt very lucky it was so good. Dr H also went over the quality of the embryos with us. He told us that one of the embryos was the highest grade they gave and that they only saw one of these a year typically. Because of this and our situation with my only known issue being POF they actually recommended for us to only transfer the one embryo. He went over the stats of it working. It was about 50% with the one embryo and to transfer both was 65% with about 40% chance of twins (with at least a few frozen attempts left too). Jeff and I asked to talk about it alone and after we talked for a couple minutes we still felt better with making the most of our fresh transfer chance by transferring two. Dr H was happy with this and said it was perfectly good decision also. He counted out the embryos and other quality and had us sign a form that said we wanted to transfer two and he gave us a picture of the two highest quality ones they would be transferring. It was really neat and made me a little teary. Dr H then gave me two valium to take to relax during the procedure and then left again to prepare for our transfer and the nurse came in and situated me.


During the transfer they had a monitor on the wall so we could watch our embryos being loaded into the catheter that would be used to place them in my uterus. Jeff and I were able to hold hands and we were both smiling and happy. It was just a good feeling and excitement in the room. Once the transfer was over they had me lay reclined on the chair for a half hour and Jeff and I talked and held hands. Once we were ready to go home they brought a wheelchair in for me which I discovered I definitely needed once I stood up and was pretty dizzy from the valium. We drove home and I slept most of the way and then crashed on the couch. Here's to hoping the two embies feel like sticking around for a while.

Songs and music

I believe that the music and lyrics of some music is meant to inspire us and comfort us. I have found many songs over the last couple of years that brought me comfort and motivation to keep going. I've added some to this blog and also some to my iPod. I have had moments in my life (related and unrelated to infertility) where I will hear a song at just the time that I need to and it brings peace. I have heard of others with similar experiences with music. I feel like these times are sometimes when God is trying to reach into our lives and speak to us when maybe we aren't ready to be on our knees.

The song below is one of the first inspiring songs that I heard after being diagnosed with POF/POI and searching the internet and youtube for information. This song inspired the title of my blog. However it has recently had issues playing on my playlist (and being the OCD girl I can be it was driving me nuts) and I wasn't able to find another version so...I decided to move it to this post.

Song on the radio...

This is probably a somewhat nonsense or silly entry. My friend Brooke has posted songs on her blog that remind her of each of her family members and it started me thinking like that a little. Then I heard this Rascall Flatts song on the radio and I pictured this as being a song that would remind me of a child that we'll eventually have...I guess it reminds me that even though there will be hard times with infertility and POF and everything else we'll go through, that in the end it will be worth it and I imagine that I would go through it all over again to have that child with us someday....

I know now the place that I was trying to reach
Was you, right here in front of me and I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin' and I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

It's amazing what I let my heart go through
To get me where it got me in this moment here with you
And it passed me by God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd find I know now,
there's a million roads I had to take to get (you) in (my) arms this way

And if thats the road God made me take to be with you
Then I wouldn't change a thing I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step That led to you and got me here

--Rascall Flatts "Here"