1st Birthday Party

The girls' birthday was a whirlwind of activity.  I made pink pancakes for breakfast (even sent DH off to work with one hehe) and then attempted some birthday pictures with little luck.  Then it was cupcake making and ordering (a sweet girl agreed to drop the 24 hour rule when my original bakery dropped the ball at 9 am).  Then while they napped I started putting up some of their birthday decor.  We played with their new toys and DH took off a half-day at work in order to help prep for the party and hang out.  Kendall was in awe of the balloons on the ceiling and kept staring at them and at me as I taped them up.  Seren was more interested in her toys still. I felt a little stressed at the end as the details came together last minute and chicken quesadillas were finished up.  But family and friends helped out and I was able to really enjoy the party with the girls and I'm grateful for that.  The decorations came out just as well as I had hoped and the cupcakes were great.  So here is their first birthday in pictures:

 Kendall

 Seren

The best I could get of both of them

 Birthday Breakfast

 Birthday cupcakes (I decorated the larger and ordered the smaller)

 Seren --post cupcake assault

 Kendall --post cupcake mischief 

 family photo before unwrapping presents

 Kendall's birthday banner

 Seren's birthday banner

balloons and birthday banners (balloon idea also above the kitchen table) -- my sweet husband was nice enough to let me know this just reminds him of two boobs haha...now I never look at it the same

12 Months Old -- 1 YEAR!!

Height/Weight:  Approx. 30" long (Seren is 1/4" longer than Kendall according to my measurement).  They are close to 20 lbs...Seren is probably about 19 lbs and Kendall is about 18 lbs.  Seren eats more and finishes most of her meals so she is noticeably a little bigger. I think they had a height growth spurt recently as I've been taking anything less than 12 months out of their wardrobe and even some 12 month clothes aren't fitting.  

Eating:  6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 4+ ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces) and two snack times.  Lots more finger food then spoon fed food now.  I am basically emptying out the freezer of baby food ice cubes.  I need to start making new recipes and filling it up with those.  Getting ready to wean off the bottle and a little nervous about it. 

Foods They Like:  They seem to be getting a little more picky but still like most stuff.  Kendall loves pasta and tomato sauce (Seren won't eat this).  They like quesadillas, turkey hot dogs, cheese, pasta with parmesan, apples, bananas, broccoli, yams, beans, etc.  I gave them some homemade gingerbread a few days ago and they love them.

Foods They Don't:  strawberry cereal puffs, they are getting sick of cheerios, cheddar puffs (Parents Choice brand...can't blame them we think these are gross too).

Favorite Things:  They still love each other (more and more).   They had a blast with Grandma and Grandpa B while they were at our house for a week and during their holiday visit.  They love to go to Jeff's parents house for Sunday dinners as well.  They are more interested in crawling off and exploring and trying to play with the big kids.  They love taking baths.  They both love to cuddle more now (I hope this isn't a short phase) but they crawl up to us when we're on the floor and lay their heads on us or give us kisses.  They love to be tickled on the ribs and to have raspberries blown on their tummies.  Seren is also very ticklish on her feet.

Dislikes:  Being hungry and tired.  Getting into trouble or being told "no".  Having things taken away from them (all the little crumbs, threads, leaves, paper, etc that they somehow seem to find even when I think I cleaned up well).  Teething is probably a dislike although it doesn't seem to bother either of them too much.

Their Accomplishments:  They both stand independent pretty well now.  They get excited about it and lose their balance and fall back down.  They climb up stairs (supervised of course).  They shuffle more.  They get into everything (I'm sure this is good development but man it keeps me on my toes).  They seem to be understanding language more (ie "hug", "give me a kiss", "soft/gentle", "share" and of course "no" still brings on tears or sometimes laughter in Seren's case when she thinks it's a game).  They are so interactive with each other and I can't wait to see this grow.  They love to love on each other.  Seren especially loves to crawl up to Kendall and kiss her on the head or cheek or sometimes whatever she can get next to.  Kendall loves to cuddle and if I'm laying on the carpet she will come over and lay her head on me or my arm and snuggle.


Teeth:  Kendall has her two bottom teeth.  Seren has her two bottom and two top.

Our Accomplishments:  Still on a great schedule generally.  We make a great team.  I am always so grateful that Jeff is willing to put in the work to take care of them as well.

Sleep:  Same bedtime routine and works like a charm (especially when a bath is included).  They sleep between 11-12 hours at night.  Nap twice a day still...2 hours and then second nap is 45 minutes to an hour.

Looking forward to:  Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around.  More freedom with food (although having more freedom now I'm realizing this will just mean more work in preparing meals; no more freezer cubed baby food).  Looking forward to warm weather and getting them outside more again. 

You've Come a Long Way Babies...

As the girls birthday draws nearer I keep thinking of the things that have changed over the last year for them and for us.  It has been a wild ride with twins but we wouldn't trade it for the world.  They are the biggest blessing we could ever have.


Then:  22 bottles a day (this usually got us through 26 hours; time enough to turn around and wash them all again)
Now:   6 bottles a day (heck yes!!)...soon to taper off to zero bottles (even better!!)

Then:  3 solid sleeping hours at night (at the most)
Now:  11-12 solids sleeping hours a night

Then:  Kendall was 20 inches and 5 lb 12 oz   Seren was 19 inches and 4 lb 14 oz
Now:  Kendall is ~ 30 inches and 18 lbs         Seren is ~ 30 inches and 19 lbs

Then:  NEVER going out to eat or getting out of the house (way too much work)
Now:  Being able to go out whenever we like (although trying not too for money and health)

Then:  They HATED bath time
Now:  They love to take a bath and don't want to get out.

Then:  Depending on us for their every need (feeding, changing, snuggling, etc etc)
Now:  Able to feed themselves mostly, they crawl to us for snuggles and kisses but they still need changing (darn it) haha

Then:  Both bald as a cue ball
Now:  Seren has a decent head of blonde hair and Kendall's red hair is coming in (it's curly so I think that's why it has taken time)

Then:  They were barely noticing each other and took months to interact.
Now:  They kiss each other (the open mouth to head kind), they steal from each other, they chat it up after naps in their room, they chase each other around and they sit and laugh at each other.  So fun!

Then:  Wondered at times (when they were both crying or screaming and we were surviving on 3 hours or less sleep a night) what we had gotten ourselves into with twins.
Now:  Can't imagine not having both of these wonderful girls in our lives and now seeing the fun that people with one child are missing out on...I'm sure there will plenty more sleepless nights to come anyway.

Bring on the Holidays...

The holidays are in full swing here.  We have decorated, we have grocery shopped, we have made neighbor gifts and family gifts and are still shopping for the last ones.  The girls are seemingly enjoying it.  They like the lights and the decorations I let them play with (Mr Potato Head Santa and a plate for cookies).  They like the new little tastes they are getting to nibble at during family things and soon to happen holiday cooking.

And am I the only one who promises myself every year to be prepared and done early with all of this?  I am pleased that most stuff is done but I still have mine and DH's parents to finish up and family gifts to put together and a blanket to finish before the girls birthday (rag quilt...barely pieced together and no sewing done; one is done however so praise to that).  Anyway I am looking forward to the holidays but also at the same time looking forward to a nice calm that comes after the chaos.

Happy Holidays to everyone.  I imagine I will be keeping up with blogs and news but I doubt that I will get around to adding any of my own until later.  Thinking of all of my fellow IF friends (those with their babes, those expecting and those who are somewhere in the not fun middle ground).  Hoping that the holiday season brings you joy.

The Benefits...

I was deciding the other night that there is one great benefit to being grossly infertile...I don't have to be completely compulsively anal about birth control and when to take a pill or replace a ring or if an IUD will be 100% effective (yah I know the failure rates are super slim) but hey I'm looking at the positives.  Plus I am actually loving the NuvaRing as an HRT (and birth control option).  I actually feel somewhat normal not worrying about pills or patches during the month.  Oh and BONUS...I think I'm losing some of my POF pot belly since the hormones are more naturally absorbed and leveling off.  One can hope right?  Yeah for that!!

11 Months Old

Height/Weight:  Nothing exact...next appointment they will be a year old.  They are on the small/skinny side a little...I can still get them into some 6-9 month clothes (maybe Carter's run big) and one pair of sweaters that are 3-6 months (these definitely run big hehe)

Eating:  6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 4+ ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces). Oh and finger foods or snacks.  I usually give them a snack in the morning and while we eat dinner.

Foods They Like:  Seriously I think they like everything.  They have their favorites though...for example when I've given them cheese and cheerios together Seren will eat all of the cheese first and have cheerios left and Kendall will eat all of the cheerios first and have cheese left.  They love yams, yogurt, any fruit and most veggies.

Foods They Don't:  Kendall is getting sick of prunes in her cereal for breakfast but still has constipation so we replaced it with apple juice.  Still not big fans of avocado.

Favorite Things:  They still love each other (more and more).  They "play" with one another...sometimes just sitting and laughing (no idea what is so funny).  Jeff likes to play "the blanket game" with them (tossing a blanket over one's head and having the other pull it off...they seem to think this is hilarious).  They also like to use objects to push around the room (Seren uses an empty jumbo diaper box to shuffle around and Kendall likes the lion push toy).  They love their spoons...I keep a couple with their toys because they love to chew on them and bang them together and have mini spoon fights.  They love to watch Thor run around when he's hyper. 

Dislikes:  Being hungry and tired.  Teething is probably a dislike although it doesn't seem to bother either of them too much.

Their Accomplishments:  They pull up on everything.  They climb up stairs (supervised of course).  They shuffle more.  They try to crawl differently now (like they know there is a better way to get around but haven't figured it out yet).  They have both stood on their own now independent of us holding them up.  Seren seems to be better at this as she is starting to pull up and do it on her own without our encouragement.  Kendall babbles a lot more now and is becoming more vocal, although Seren is still more chatty.  Seren has also become more shy though and hides in our shoulder when people approach her or want to hold her (she has definitely been a mommy's girl the last few weeks).  Kendall seems more open socially and likes to watch people and smile at them.  They bathe in the big girl tub and absolutely LOVE it...they splash and laugh and bang toys together.  They are understanding language more.  Mostly I notice this when they are doing something they are not supposed to (ie using a lamp to stand up or pulling hair) and I tell them "no" and sometimes they get their feelings hurt and cry.  They also are more affectionate...giving hugs sometimes and trying to give kisses (open mouth slobber all over you kind of kisses). 

Our Accomplishments:  Still on a great schedule generally.  The weekends usually mix them up a little as we go to family dinners and hang out with friends occasionally.  

Sleep:  Same bedtime routine and works like a charm (especially when a bath is included).  They sleep between 11-12 hours at night.  Their naps are a little more wonky the past couple weeks.  I'm wondering if they are trying to drop the morning nap for a longer afternoon one or what.

Looking forward to:  Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around.  More freedom with food (although having more freedom now I'm realizing this will just mean more work in preparing meals; no more freezer cubed baby food).  Most of their 1st birthday is planned and prepped now so looking forward to that.  Also looking forward to their first Christmas too of course.

DE Mom musings:  Mostly this only came up in regards to gratitude this month.  I think of our donor fondly and I'm grateful for this woman who gave us the most beautiful and selfless gift.  I get more comfortable referring to the donor when husband and I are talking or with the girls.  I think this will be a pretty natural topic for me (I hope).

 Seren being entertained by dad

 Kendall in a chill mood

Getting two crawlers to stay in the same picture frame (impossible)...poor Kendall got upset with me for putting her back next to Seren

Holiday Cards

We weren't going to do holiday cards this year.  And I still don't love the idea of sending out cards with a picture (I remember the "ouch" feeling in my gut when we got these before having the girls) but then Groupon came out with a super deal and I was weak.  Anyway...thought I'd share some of the adorable pictures we took of the girls in their dresses (got them second hand for $3 a piece...can you believe it?)

 Kendall was in a really good mood

 Seren not so much but you can't tell she was crying minutes before this

 Checking each other out

The final product

What Debt of Gratitude Is Mine?

*title is from the lyrics to God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son...found in the LDS Hymn book*

I have seen a lot of my friends posting gratitude for the month of November on Facebook.  This is all fine and dandy but I don't want to publicize it to that point (and I'm a late starter hehe) and some of my greatest gratitude this year is also private things I don't want to make so far known.  So here is a Top Ten List of things I am most grateful for:

1.  I am grateful for my husband, Jeff.  That he has been by my side through thick and thin (and still is)
2.  I am grateful for my daughters, Kendall and Seren.  I can't think of my gratitude for the blessing they are without getting tearful.
3.  I am grateful to my parents.  They molded who I am today through love, guidance and support.  They are great examples to me and give their all for their family.
4.  I am grateful to my in-laws.  I enjoy spending time with them and have never dreaded a family dinner.  They raised up a wonderful man and support our family.
5.  I am grateful for modern medicine and ART and our fertility clinic (UCRM).  If it weren't for these things my kiddos would not have been possible.
6.  I am forever grateful to our donor.  Even though she is anonymous I do think of her and hope that in some way she knows the enormous gratitude we owe her through her selfless gift.
7.  I am grateful to be provided for.  We have jobs, we have a home, we clothes on our backs and food on the table what more could we want for.
8.  I am grateful for my siblings and Jeff's siblings (they should probably be higher up the list but I didn't want to renumber).  I enjoy all of my siblings and I'm grateful for the things that they teach me and help they offer.
9.  I am grateful for modern transportation and that it makes it easier to get things done and to actually see my family.
10.  I am grateful for family traditions.  I can't wait to celebrate the holiday with our families and also as a family.  With that I am grateful for the reason for the season.  I may still be working on my relationship towards Christ and my Heavenly Father but I know that they exist and I know that they love me no matter what.

Money Whoas

For the last while I've been driven bonkers about money again.  Not the fact that our budget is a little snug...I'm honestly not worried about our money other than we need to pay off minimal credit card debt.  No it's been driving me nuts because every little mention of money turns into my good friend telling me or sometimes even Jeff that they are strapped for cash.  And I'm not talking like I complain about money to her...I don't.  She asks what Kendall and Seren are getting for Christmas and I say clothes (as in clothes previously bought and hanging in their closet that became Christmas because I needed something to wrap) and she asks why no toys so I say we can't really afford it.  And she says how she knows the feeling after just telling me about all the toys and clothes they've already gotten her daughter for Christmas and asking her husband if maybe they should get the one they were thinking about too.  She complains to me about money like it's a huge burden for them as they purchase a blu-ray just because they wanted to watch it that night and she spends $150 on laser hair removal for her legs (even if it was a great deal).  I simply state that we can't afford things when she wants to play or asks about buying something and in turn I hear her bemoan their money fate.

But I think I finally decided why it bothers me.  It's not that I think we are so bad off...please it could be lots worse and I'm so grateful for what I have.  Sometimes I think it's simply because I feel like her buying things or doing things means that she is providing more for her daughter.  Which is such a stupid notion to think I know but that's what I thought out loud today and realized oh wow that's why it bugs me.  Because she's able to get things for her kid (new things) and I feel like I can't spend very much on them and if I do it's all second hand and previously owned.  You know what though even if we had money to burn I would still shop thrifty.  It's who I am.  It's who my mom made me out to be.  Yes my friend is thrifty and likes a good deal as much as I (it's part of why we're good friends) but I think I take it to a whole-nutha-level lately.

So for anyone struggling with the economy I say this:  buying things is not necessarily providing.  Money doesn't buy time or love that you give to your children, spouse or other loved one.  Those are things that making money will never be able to provide and that sometimes may even interfere with being able to provide (ie the all consuming job...thanks Jeff for realizing family was and is more important than big money).  Love my girls.  Love my family.  And I know that we provide everything (and more) than they need and if they have to rub up against my hairy legs once in a while because I don't have time to shave or money to get lasered...well so be it.

*I do love my friend and I am glad she can do as she desires (within her means as well) but just wanted to share my epiphany.  Oh and I do know how to spell woes...just playing on words here*

Dear Babies...

I saw this video on a Google site or advertisement and fell in the love with the idea.  I immediately signed the girls up for emails (PS They have to be at least 18 years old to have a gmail account...I gave them my birthday hehe) and began writing them.  So far their inbox only has a few emails each.  But I plan on keeping it up and getting Jeff to write them too (at least occasionally) and maybe including grandparents once in a while too.  I hope so anyway...sometimes I dream big :)

Donor Egg Choice

Using donor eggs to get pregnant was never something I felt was a forced choice.  True it wasn't fantastic news to find out I couldn't get pregnant naturally and it would cost so much to have kids.  And I definitely went through some grieving over a loss of genetics...something I thought was so important at the time.  But I was still so grateful to know I had a chance to get pregnant and carry our children.  A pretty good chance based on my diagnosis and according to my research.

In all honesty we had other choices we could have made.  We could have pursued adoption.  We could have lived child free.  We could have kept trying things with my own body (we never got too crazy with this).  We chose donor eggs because it made the most sense to us.  We wanted a family; there was no doubt about that.  It was what we felt was the best guarantee and it allowed us more control over our situation.  When it came to infertility that was something I really wanted...a feeling of control.  We controlled the timeline not some adoption agency or pregnant woman looking through profiles.  We controlled the prenatal care these children would receive.  There wasn't someone else in charge or someone who could take the possibility of a child away from us (at least if we had trust in our donor which we did based on her prior cycles and history).  It was the best choice for us.

So when I read informational articles, news or other blogs that act as if women are forced into this decision and are mourning their losses the whole way or even worse after they are blessed with children through donor egg...it really irks me.  I honestly don't think it's true for most women of donor egg children.  I just feel like some may rush into donor egg and not really process it all and truly accept it as a good route and choice for them.  But truth be told there were and are other options.  They chose this and to look at it as anything that was forced by the hand they were dealt makes me feel like those beautiful and amazing gifts they were given are being discredited.

Yes it can be hard to give up some piece of your dream and have it realized another way.  But it is still realized.  For me I feel like it has been realized beyond anything I ever dreamed of before or after infertility became a part of my life.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN...

...from our "treats"

 Halloween 2011

Kendall

I can't get my ghetto photo edit to rotate these

Seren

but they are still stinkin cute

 For the first Halloween I can remember I didn't really dress up.  My husband suggested us being bug catchers and so I made some butterfly/bug nets and we dressed in khakis for a Halloween party but other than that we put no effort into ourselves.  I did however make their costumes so I think that more than makes up for my lacking in other areas.  Happy Halloween everyone!

10 months old

Height/Weight:  Unsure...haven't measured them lately.  Hopefully longer and heavier :)

Eating:  6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 3-4 ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces). Oh and finger foods...I don't really know how to add those in.  I usually give them a snack in the morning and while we eat dinner.

Foods They Like:  Anything they can feed themselves (toast, cereal, bananas, etc; cheese was ok).  Also beans, ham, yams, fruit and squash. 

Foods They Don't:  There isn't much these days.  Seren has wanted nothing to do with solids the last week but I think it's due to her tummy being upset.  Seren's appetite is returning and now Kendall is the one that's sick.

Favorite Things:  They still love each other (more and more).  They seem to like to get in each other's space even more now.  They will nuzzle heads together and sometimes lean in on purpose to squeal or laugh at each other.  Kendall still loves to play with Thor and he's a good sport as she grabs his tags and plays keep away or tug-o-war (accidentally I'm sure) with his toys.  Seren is our chatty girl still.  She also has taken to this devilish little grin (wrinkling her eyes and forehead with how big she smiles).  

Dislikes:  Being hungry and tired.  For Seren I will add teething...she seems to be getting there and has been very cranky and needy the last few days.  Kendall has a tooth cutting through and I never even knew it based on her behavior.

Their Accomplishments:  They are both pulling up onto anything in site (this started a few days after they turned 9 months) and shuffle very minimally around this way.  Kendall likes to clap now and gets especially excited when it makes noise.  She also claps a lot when we put their trays on for finger food (I think she likes it).  They sit very well on their own.  They can eat finger food with precision now.  They are both able to fully crawl and are gaining speed...oh boy.  They seem to understand trouble or mischief a little more.  They love to crawl to the bathroom upstairs if we forget to close it and if you catch them half-way sometimes they try to crawl faster thinking they'll beat you.

Our Accomplishments:  We have them on a good schedule for eating, napping and sleeping.  We take them out when we want to although sometimes still rare based on funds.  Jeff works full-time days, I work part-time swing shift now and we balance out the girls between us still.  Very blessed to have the ability to work with/around the girls instead of the girls around our work.  

Sleep: Still sticking to our routine and loving it.  They sleep 11-12 hour nights.  They have once again stopped waking in the middle of the night and sleep a solid night through.  They take one 2 hour nap at 10 am and 1 hour nap at 2:30pm.

Looking forward to:  Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around.  Still looking forward to more freedom with food (although having more freedom now I'm realizing this will just mean more work in preparing meals; no more freezer cubed baby food).  Planning their 1st birthday...with their birthday 3 days after Christmas it's now or never.

DE Mom musings:  We watched our wedding video (with baby pictures in it) this past month and I kind of found myself wondering if I physically look like I could be their mother.  I think I do...at least enough that it doesn't bother me or make me think on it much.  Although it's still a little sad when people say how much the girls look like Jeff and of course never like me (just a little selfish thought I guess).  Jeff was little more open with their conception story with our close friends (our best friends who know that donor egg aspect and our close friend couple who does not) and it made me a little nervous some donor aspect might slip out around the second couple.  I don't know why.  I'm still protective over that because I want our girls to "get it" before anyone else is told.

*pictures to come*

Twice the Fun...

When the girls were first born and we were struggling to keep them fed and changed and fed again I had this weird little notion.  That when they were bigger and able to do more for themselves that it would be kind of like morphing them into one child and it wouldn't be any harder than taking care of one.  That it might actually be as easy because they would have each other and they would entertain each other.

Well now I realize there is no denying it.  They are twice the work.  But they are definitely twice the fun.  They are both crawling all over the house and pulling up on everything they can get a grip on.  I love to just watch them sometimes.  They will crawl towards each other and just smile or Seren will get the giggles as Kendall paws at her face or hair.  They steal toys from each other and play tug of war over one they like.  Then they smile and giggle as they "fight" over who gets to play with it.  Luckily this "sharing" hasn't been a bad thing yet.

They both love to lay on my stomach and turn one cheek to my mouth for kisses.  I'll kiss their cheeks repeatedly and sometimes they laugh and sometimes they just relax and seem content.  A couple days ago I was lying on the floor to play with them and Seren crawled over to me.  I pointed to my cheek and said "kiss" and made kissy noises and she crawled a little closer and laid a wide open wet mouth on my cheek.  I have no idea if it was intentional but she did it again later that day and once the next day so I like to think it was.

It is so much fun watching them together and seeing them interact.  Also just seeing their different personalities and strengths.  I think they aid each other.  Seren is still the more social and giggly baby and she helps Kendall to interact and get the giggles too.  Kendall is our little active and daredevil child and she has the little bruises on her head to prove it.  She is almost always the first to try things.  Seren watches her and follows her lead.  They are just the best and I am so lucky.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day...

Today is worldwide pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day (miscarriages, stillbirths and SIDS).  I never really knew that this would strike so close to my heart as it does now. I know of four women in real life that have suffered the loss of their babies.  I'm sure there are many many more in my life who have suffered miscarriages without mention but feel the loss just as deeply.  And of course endless numbers of women in the world who have.  Many of these I've become familiar with through blogs and felt their grief through their words.

Three of the women I know actively participate in SHARE , a national program that helps remember these women and their children.  There is a walk going on to commemorate and gather their family and friends together today. Such a wonderful program.  Their website also gives advice on how to be supportive.

Somewhat like infertility I used to think that things like this would rarely if ever happen to those I love and care about.  But like infertility this is a part of so many lives.  Some people are vocal about it and some are more private.  Either way we need to find ways to support them in a way that works for the person and family.

It isn't a crime to remember their children and talk about their children.  They think about them all the time and (for the most part) I think it is comforting for them to know they aren't the only ones that do.

*In memory of Everhett, Emily, Preston and Armando and their beautiful strong mothers and families*

First Family Picture

Okay it's actually kind of the second but the one from the hospital was not so attractive of me.  We actually had my cousin do these pictures (she also took their 6 month pictures).  This is just a sneak peak from her Facebook page so the quality isn't the best (yet) but I adore it.  I still can't believe we got any pictures with the girls both looking at the camera (and smiling to boot).  Holy freakin amazing!!

9 months

Height/Weight:  Kendall:  28.62 inches (84%) and 16 lb 14 oz (17%)  Seren:  27.95" (64%) and 17 lb 4.5 oz (22%) so they are long and skinny;  and yes I heard about it from my friend that her daughter (who is two months younger) is now officially heavier and longer than my girls.  What is up with parents comparing and competing with this? (soooooo annoying)

Eating:  6-7 oz of formula typically and then 3-4 oz of solids.

Foods They Like:  Anything they can feed themselves (toast, cereal, bananas, etc; cheese was ok).  Beans, ham, yams, fruit and squash.

Foods They Don't:  Kendall doesn't like tart (peaches, apricots, etc). Seren eats anything I throw at her. 

Favorite Things:  They still love each other (more and more).  They crawl right up to each other and gab or sometimes just stare at the other.  Kendall loves to "chase" Thor (our little dog) around the front room and giggles every time she catches him.  Seren loves to be held but is enjoying her new found freedom in crawling now also.  They both like being held upside down by the thighs while being swung and tickled on the stomach.  They laugh so hard.  Seren loves it when dad comes home (for lunch and at the end of the day)...she gets a big smile on her face and wiggles around like crazy.

Dislikes:  Being hungry and tired.  Poor constipation issues still (going back to prunes instead of prune juice).

Their Accomplishments:  They sit very well on their own.  They can eat finger food with precision now.  They are both able to fully crawl and are gaining speed...oh boy.  They both babble a fair amount (Seren more so).  Still no teeth quite yet but I can feel some under the surface in Kendall's mouth and see an outline in Seren's.  I love their toothless grins and I'm afraid I'm really going to miss them.

Our Accomplishments:  We have them on a good schedule for eating, napping and sleeping.  We take them out when we want to (their being able to sit in high chairs makes this so much easier).  Jeff works full-time days, I work part-time swing shift now and we balance out the girls between us still.  Very blessed to have the ability to work with/around the girls instead of the girls around our work.  

Sleep: Still sticking to our routine and loving it.  They sleep 11-12 hour nights.  Lately they have been waking up around 12 am or 1 am to cry and we typically feed them and they go right back down (growth spurt maybe?).

Looking forward to:  Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around.  Still looking forward to more freedom with food.  I suppose that means them getting teeth which I don't actually look forward to.  Planning their 1st birthday...with their birthday 3 days after Christmas it's now or never.

DE Mom musings:  Besides the inferiority questioning post I haven't really thought about it.  I rarely remember how much work and intervention was required for us to have them now (if that makes sense...I know how can you possibly forget that right?)

 9 months old

 Kendall

Seren (too much edit but it was washed out before)

The Ins and Outs

37 weeks and 5 days old.  They have been out in the world for as long as they were in now.  It is crazy to believe that the same time that we have been enjoying them is the same amount of time the pregnancy lasted.  The time with them here seems to be so much shorter (and longer some days but mostly shorter).  I'm so grateful that they are here and were brought here safely by such good doctors and care.

We look forward to each milestone and enjoy each day with them.  People always ask how it is with twins and honestly the first couple months or so were rough and I questioned our sanity a little at thinking we could handle it (and putting back two embryos when our doctor recommended only one).  But once we started getting some sleep again things couldn't be better.  It is such a fun experience to watch them grow and develop together.  To see them interact more and more everyday.  I look forward to that for the future and I hope that they are good friends with each other as well as sisters.

I can't believe that it is only a few months from now that they will be a year old.  I have been a little nutty with that and actually have been planning for a little 1 year old celebration (I'm sure many moms do this).  I have ideas for cakes/cupcakes, colors, decor, presents and a video in the process of making.  Sometimes I think I am trying to juggle too many balls with the various projects I have in my head.  But I suppose as long as the projects still make me happy instead of stressed then it is all good.

So in love with our little girls and so excited for the future with them.

Round Three

Round Three started a week after round one.  Last Tuesday we were taking Kendall in for a 104* fever and this past Tuesday we took her in again for 103.5*...she doesn't know how to go "half-way" it is all or nothing (as our pediatrician joked).  Luckily this time the fever was pinpointed to a very red and sore throat but likely a virus so nothing to do about it again.  Of course then we went home and the next morning a few small bumps on her bum had gotten worse (I didn't think much of them at the time) and the next day were spreading and growing.  So again I took Kendall in to the clinic worried it might keep spreading or not heal without some help.  Turns out this is also virus related (some sort of syndrome that is triggered by a virus in some children on occasion) and will likely go away in 7-10 days but could be a few weeks (yah I loved the range on that).  And in an ironic twist of fate we found out we weren't covered by insurance for the first two visits (oh well what are you gonna do anyway let your child's brain fry...I think not).

So our poor little leper Kendall continues to develop spots and little pimple like sores on her legs, bum, hands and feet (luckily they have avoided her arms and face and this syndrome usually doesn't show up on the trunk).  I feel for her although she doesn't seem to be bothered by them and goes about her merry way exploring the house (supervised of course).  It's also not contagious so it's very unlikely Seren will join the ranks.  I hope it clears up soon but for now we shall call her Dotty and give her extra lovings.

Positive Spin

I have found myself complaining a lot lately or feeling bothered by things.  Petty things.  Stupid things.  I have everything I need in life and yet I get down on myself or things out of my control.  We had plans to travel next year...Disneyland with the girls and then France without them.  Both plans have been scrapped now in order to accommodate our new lifestyle (the getting by and hoping for better one).  And I've felt complaint over this.

Then as I talked to my good friend online yesterday I listened to/read her complaining about money.  The friend that has virtually free babysitters and both she and her husband work.  I kind of doubt they have real actual money problems (but I guess you never know).  But it made me think...if she can complain about it then there must not be a happy medium in the world for it.  She worries about affording an entire bathroom remodel and I consider a new bathroom mirror (which she told me was $40-60 at the cheapest) and decide that's definitely not in the budget.  Two different worlds of worry over money.

So I've made a decision to get rid of this attitude and live to realize "good enough" is damn near great (as a friend's blog puts it...okay I added the damn near great part).  But seriously I want for nothing.  I am lucky enough to be home with my girls and to watch them grow up.  I am blessed with a great man to share my life with and who sacrifices for us.  I am super lucky that I have my girls (no more complaining about POF or infertility here either; okay maybe a little complaint over hormone wackiness and "was that a hot flash I just had?" thoughts).  But to complain about my road with infertility implies unhappiness in how it turned out.  And I am most definitely beyond thrilled with how it turned out.

And as for money.  So far we've been really lucky there too.  We both have work unlike many Americans these days .  At just the point when my husband changed jobs, and before we realized how tight money might get, I was offered some on-call hours back with the hospital.  Work that works entirely with my schedule with the girls.  Talk about a God who knows how to provide for our little family at just the right time.  I don't know how long my job will last.  But for now it brings in a little extra money and I'm grateful for it.  I hope they keep me around and going until the end of the year but we'll see.  I have no room for complaint about money.  We are provided for.  That's all that matters.

So I am doing my best from here on out...in life and in blog world to not complain.  To realize my blessings.  And who knows maybe even help others to realize theirs too.  Here's to a new positive spin on life.

Round Two (and weekend well wishes)

Well if you ever wonder if what your child has is contagious simply wait a few days for the other child to catch it (or yourself).  I'm sure most parents, teachers and many others know this rule of thumb.  Seren is down with the crummies now and just wants to be held (she's in my lap as I type).  At least this time I know not to freak out or spend another $50+ on an after hours visit.  The benefits of twins I tell you.  The good part is that Kendall has become quite proficient at crawling on all fours the last day or so and is happily keeping herself busy in the pile of toys and pillows in the middle of the room.

The house that was clean from us showing it on Monday is now a disaster come Friday.  I misplaced my portable hard drive during the clean up and have since destroyed all the hard work in efforts to find all those irreplaceable memories and photos.  It is safe and sound now.  I've started new crafts and have a bunch of ideas floating in my head and fabric sitting in my new sewing area (complete with desk that was moved downstairs to prevent child safety accidents in the future;  can't complain about that).  Here is to a fabulous weekend and hoping that you are all enjoying it as well.

Fever Scare (aka Round One)

Well the night ended with Kendall having a 104* fever and a trip to the KidsCare (after hours clinic) by our house.  We were lucky and our pediatrician happened to be the one on-call.  Unfortunately nothing could be determined for reason of fever...no congestion, no ear infections, no rashes or smelly urine.  I gave her some infant ibuprofen as soon as I saw the spike in temperature.  That seemed to bring it down and by the time we were seen she was sitting at 99.5* or so.  But with no information on what is causing it...besides a possible flu bug our doctor has seen floating around and a possible viral infection (that should cause a rash and then send her on her way to getting better) we are at a loss.  We just keep an eye on her and keep giving her ibuprofen and if it keeps up for another 48 hours then we bring her back in.  Stink.  I hate worrying so much over her but what else is there to do at this point.

Update:  Kendall's fever has been consistently down since this morning.  I hope this means she's on the mend.  And I hope Seren doesn't follow suit.

Nap Time Goodness

The girls are down for a much needed nap.  I think God created babies that need a nice long nap so that moms like me don't pull their hair out.  Poor Miss Kendall has had a low grade fever the past two days.  She was able to be held whenever she wanted yesterday but today once DH went to work she was stuck with just little ole me and a sister who also wanted attention.  Luckily her fever seems to be going down and she seems in better spirits but the afternoon nap came just the same and both Kendall and Seren have crashed hard.

I love watching them sleep.  I love playing with them too but there is just that peaceful angelic feeling about watching a baby (or two) sleep.  Nothing is better than that in my book.  Well besides the laughter and the fact that Seren is starting to reach out whenever you pick her up to touch your face with both hands and Kendall crawls across the room to get to me now.  I love to watch them grow and develop right before my eyes.  I am such a lucky mom.  So very lucky.

I think often of my infertile friends and those who are in waiting and in mid-cycle and other sorts of circumstances.  I wish all of the best things to be happening for them soon.

Well I better get back to the chores while there is time to inflict damage on them and accomplish something.

Secretive Support? Can We Say Oxymoron?

What is supportive about being secretive?  Sure I guess it might get people talking or guessing or trying to figure out what the heck you are posting...but really??  Is it necessary.

I think we all have seen the beginning of heated debates over the facebook or twitter postings with shoe sizes, purses and now the "fake" pregnancy update.  I admit I played along last year with the color of my bra (at least it had something to do with my boobs) and even this year I played the shoe size one (although not getting any correlation).  But when I saw the "fake" pregnancy one circulating I thought that was taking it all a bit too far.  Apparently I wasn't alone with this one.  Many a post has now been created about how this is stupid and just plain hurtful to a lot of people.  After all...what single person wants to post this one, what infertile person wants to post this or read about it and what person who is going through infertility treatment, negative pregnancy tests or heaven forbid a miscarriage or stillbirth wants to see something taken so lightly.  If I were in the midst of infertility treatment or anything like that still it would make me want to curl up and have a good long cry for oh I don't know a week or so...as is I really just want to punch someone in the gut who came up with this idea.

And as one blogger posted...the really sad and sick thing about this one is that many cancer survivors, who do beat cancer, end up on the other side finding themselves infertile.  What idiot thought it was a good idea to "support" breast cancer by mocking some of the very people you want to be supportive of.  Seriously as someone who has "beat" infertility it just infuriates me that someone would use this tactic to "help" someone who may be facing a new battle after kicking cancer's fanny.

So how do we support?  The same way a lot of us have learned to with infertility.  We vocalize.  We speak out.  We don't hide behind little games that tell us that it's not okay to do so.  Cancer is somewhat taboo in our culture too.  We don't like to talk about it so much.  Not so much taboo as infertility probably but it has it's moments.  So instead of hiding behind the game...I challenge you all to post an actual supportive or informative post about breast cancer or any cancer.  "Make a monthly date with your breasts...they deserve it" or "Support The Boobies" or whatever tagline you like.  Share a story or connection you have with someone that has or had breast cancer.  Actually link to something informative or helpful.  Support the cause not the "secrecy".