Secretive Support? Can We Say Oxymoron?

What is supportive about being secretive?  Sure I guess it might get people talking or guessing or trying to figure out what the heck you are posting...but really??  Is it necessary.

I think we all have seen the beginning of heated debates over the facebook or twitter postings with shoe sizes, purses and now the "fake" pregnancy update.  I admit I played along last year with the color of my bra (at least it had something to do with my boobs) and even this year I played the shoe size one (although not getting any correlation).  But when I saw the "fake" pregnancy one circulating I thought that was taking it all a bit too far.  Apparently I wasn't alone with this one.  Many a post has now been created about how this is stupid and just plain hurtful to a lot of people.  After all...what single person wants to post this one, what infertile person wants to post this or read about it and what person who is going through infertility treatment, negative pregnancy tests or heaven forbid a miscarriage or stillbirth wants to see something taken so lightly.  If I were in the midst of infertility treatment or anything like that still it would make me want to curl up and have a good long cry for oh I don't know a week or so...as is I really just want to punch someone in the gut who came up with this idea.

And as one blogger posted...the really sad and sick thing about this one is that many cancer survivors, who do beat cancer, end up on the other side finding themselves infertile.  What idiot thought it was a good idea to "support" breast cancer by mocking some of the very people you want to be supportive of.  Seriously as someone who has "beat" infertility it just infuriates me that someone would use this tactic to "help" someone who may be facing a new battle after kicking cancer's fanny.

So how do we support?  The same way a lot of us have learned to with infertility.  We vocalize.  We speak out.  We don't hide behind little games that tell us that it's not okay to do so.  Cancer is somewhat taboo in our culture too.  We don't like to talk about it so much.  Not so much taboo as infertility probably but it has it's moments.  So instead of hiding behind the game...I challenge you all to post an actual supportive or informative post about breast cancer or any cancer.  "Make a monthly date with your breasts...they deserve it" or "Support The Boobies" or whatever tagline you like.  Share a story or connection you have with someone that has or had breast cancer.  Actually link to something informative or helpful.  Support the cause not the "secrecy".

The Christmas Feeling...

Man I'm complaining a lot lately. I realize that I am but it feels better to have it out there then stewing in my brain. We got a Christmas card from one of my old roommates yesterday that announced they were expecting their first child. It was cute and a fun little way to announce things I guess. But I just had that feeling of envy again. I kept it to myself for a while but later that night I just sat with Jeff in front of the Christmas tree in tears. I kept thinking "I don't want to be them...I just don't want to be me". I don't have a strong desire to have a kid or to be pregnant so it's not like I'm jealous of them...I'm just so jealous that they can do that and make that decision and get there.

I wish too that it hadn't been announced around Christmas. I'm sure to the couple who can get pregnant the normal way that it seems like the perfect time to announce that type of thing. But to the person or couple who can't it just feels like a slap in the face at a time of year when you may already have a tough enough time being around family and all the kids and kid-oriented stuff. Last year I was depressed because I found out "officially" that I had ovarian failure and now this year that announcement just reminded me again (just in time for Christmas).

I hope that my mood improves for tonight as we are having family over for Christmas Eve. I suppose there are many people who have it worse off this Christmas and I am grateful for all I do have. I guess there are things we will always envy about others...my sister-in-law envies our new house and I envy her with her three cute little kids. Time to just be happy with what we have right and for the ultimate gift that we were all given through Christ's birth.