Welcome Nolan Jeffrey...

Our little man was born on October 2nd at 2:16 am.  He weighed in at 8 lb 5 oz and 20 inches long.  He's beautiful and such an amazingly good baby.  I went to my 38 week appointment and requested the induction.  I was still scared of a big headed baby and possible c-section.  There really wasn't a great reason to worry and I doubted the need for induction as September 30th came closer.  We arranged for Jeff's parents to watch our girls that evening and next day.  Unfortunately about the time they arrived for their duty I received a phone call saying the hospital was busy with spontaneous labor patients and couldn't fit us in.  They offered to try for 10 pm and would call us at 9 pm to let us know.  We waited and were again told they couldn't do it.  They said they'd move us to 7:30 am and promised not to "bump" us again.  We went to bed and neither Jeff nor I slept very good that night with nerves and excitement.  But 6:30 am came and another phone call saying it just wasn't possible but that we would be the first person they called when it could be done.  We went for a walk around the neighborhood to blow of steam as it was getting old at that point.  Jeff's parents had stayed the night.  We got a call at 10:30 am asking if we could be there by 11:30 am and agreed to this.

We arrived at the labor and delivery unit and were checked in.  Our nurse was great and they had a student/intern following her around who did my IV and catheter (both were fine although I worried a little).  They started me on pitocin and everything was cruising along just fine.  Around 12:30 pm one of Dr B's colleagues was up at the hospital breaking another patients water and Dr B requested he also do mine.  Once this was done the contractions were harder and more uncomfortable. My parents were up to visit and we sat around and small talked.  Jeff would watch the monitor and point out when I was having a contraction (haha as if I couldn't tell from the discomfort/pain).  He would time them out on the monitor and give me estimate for next one and then watch my face for the reaction.  Kind of funny and kind of annoying.  I wanted to put off the epidural and made it until about 4:30 before asking for it.  I was only dilated to a 3 or 4 at that point.  Once again having the epidural placed was the worst part of the whole experience.  I don't think it was placed quite right as they said I should have warm tingle down my leg and I didn't.  So they anesthesiologist pushed or wiggled it around...ouch.  But once it was done I didn't notice the contractions so much.

Around 10 or 10:30 pm they checked and I was dilated to a 9+ but Nolan wasn't dropping very well.  They waited for a "lip" of my cervix to finish dilating and checking his position.  The new nurse wasn't as great as the first and couldn't tell which direction he was facing entirely.  She guessed that he was not face down and that he was facing kind of sideways/diagonal towards my left hip.  She had me do some trial pushes to see if he would move or drop and he didn't.  So we tried some different laying positions to see if maybe he would shift direction on his own.  He didn't.  So around 1:30 am she contacted Dr B with the update and Dr B decided to come in and probably manually turn him and use suction.  At this time my right leg started feeling a little tingly and my feet in general did not feel numb like I thought they should.  The nurse put me off a little when I asked if it was normal.  Then I started having definite feeling of contractions and back pain.  I'm sure they were not anything like they would have been without the epidural but they hurt quite a bit (equal or worse to when I asked for the epidural) and also just made me really nervous it would wear off more and I'd be in full labor/birth without it.  The nurse had me turn on my side and hug the pillow while she went to hopefully find the anesthesiologist again.  I cried and pushed the manual button which would cover or take the edge off of the first contraction but the following one (a couple minutes later) would kill as there was a 5 minute delay on the button.  Luckily they caught him before he went into a c-section and he was able to give me a "booster" that put the epidural back into full effect.  My mom came in to check on progress and I told her Dr B was on his way.  My sister had gone home already just barely so my parents were the only ones still there.  I told my mom she was welcome to be in the room but that it might be a little awkward with my dad there.  Of course he would have understood.

Dr B arrived and I'm guessing manually turned Nolan and placed the suction on his head, although I don't remember this.  My mom was standing up by my head next to Jeff and they were having me push when my dad came in.  He had been separated or locked out so missed connecting with my mom.  I didn't care at that point and just told him he was fine to stay but just to stand by my mom.  It didn't matter to me at the time and now I'm really grateful he was able to be there.  I'm glad both of my parents could share that with us.  They had me push three times with each contraction and I could feel the pressure as Nolan was crowning but not the pain.  It seemed to take a while and the last contraction/pushing did begin to hurt and it felt like we were getting nowhere.  Then he was born and they placed him on my chest with my hospital gown to cover him up.  He was perfect and beautiful and covered in goo.  It was a great moment and tearful.  Then they took him to measure and clean off while I was stitched up.

So he's here and he's wonderful and we are doing great as a family.  The girls were thrilled to come and meet him.  They've both been a little extra whiney lately but hopefully that will lessen with time and a new routine to settle into.  They like to hold him and snuggle up to him.

Nolan at a follow up appointment for jaundice.  The glow might be the lights or the jaundice but it's one of my favorite pictures so far.  

Update: 38+ weeks

Baby update:  Everything is still good.  Dr B measured his head again and said he was just under 10 cm this time and even if that wasn't accurate that he felt I should still be fine.  So I am holding out hope and trying not to worry anymore.  He estimated his weight at 6 1/2 lbs this time (a little less that last time) so maybe u/s technology isn't that great.  I think he'll be between 7 and 8 lbs but hoping he's not over that.  Dilated to 2 cm and 75% effaced so not a lot of progress but enough to not feel worried.  I was still chicken enough on size though to ask about being induced and Dr B said we could go that route.  So I will actually be going in on September 30th to be induced but not until 8 pm...sounds like a horrible time as I imagine that will mean labor all night.  I have my flight of fancy to walk my heart out on Monday and Tuesday to maybe go on my own before then but I doubt that will be the case.  

Cravings:  Sweets.  Fried food.  Nothing really good for me.  Maybe it's more indulgence than craving.

Weight Gain:  about 20 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He still moves a bit mostly just before bedtime.  He likes to stick his feet into my right side and ribs.  I also feel him occasionally where it seems he's trying to stretch out from head to toe.  I don't have insomnia but now I don't sleep great due to discomfort.  I think I've had a few actual though mild contractions but nothing consistent.  If I walk a bit it usually tightens everything up but then goes away once I relax for a little while.  My feet have also been swelling the last few days.

Day to Day:   Trying to clean house and organize.  Finishing packing a hospital bag and getting "big sister" gifts together.  I definitely have not accomplished everything I wanted to but it will do and work out.  Hoping to fit in a haircut today or tomorrow.   

Baby Prep:  Pretty much planning on just doing this after he's hear now haha Ooops.  I'm a stinker.  We have all the physical needs met but the nursery decorating can wait a bit.

The Girls:  Love my girls.  They are so good to each other and such good playmates, usually.  They have such fun imaginations lately and conversations I love.  Kendall was eating dinner with my parents the other night and kept saying "two grandmas and two grandpas" and I thought she was just saying she had two of each but she giggled and pointed and we realized she was crossing her eyes and seeing/making two of each.  Cracked us all up, silly girl. 

Looking forward to:  Just looking forward to little boy being here and coming home with him now.  Hoping it all goes smoothly. 

Next visit:  September 30th is set for the day.  

Update: 37+ weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down but not engaged.  He is estimated to weigh 7 lbs now.  So if full-term somewhere around 8 lb estimate.  I am still only dilated to 1.5 cm and now 70% effaced so nothing serious happening there.  My issue/concern is this little guys head is measuring full term (the u/s said 41 weeks...yikes!).  I asked Dr B somewhat nervously if this was going to be a problem and he didn't seem concerned and just gave his usual cheery tone of voice and said "It shouldn't be that's just why one has to dilate the full 10 cm".  Not super encouraging.  Plus during the cervical check he mentioned that baby needs to drop a bit still which has/had me worrying that he hasn't dropped cause there isn't enough room.  Seriously?  I have a nervous/scared cry anytime I really think about (despite reading online it's common for second-timers to not drop until actual labor sets in and big babies come natural all the time).  Can we say considering induction again? and beating myself up for not taking the offer to sweep membranes and help things along too (I didn't want to risk actually going into labor before my parents got here).  

Cravings:  Nothing really.  Spicy chinese was super delicious a week ago and milk always tastes good.  Just the usual. 

Weight Gain:  still about 15 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He still moves a bit mostly just before bedtime.  I have had insomnia issues going back to sleep for the last few days.  Last night was definitely due to worrying about the big head concerns.  I think I've had a few actual though mild contractions but nothing consistent.  I'm hoping to step up my game on helping things along if I can.  

Day to Day:  Painting has stopped in main house.  I may paint after he's born and before we transition to bedroom (he'll be in ours for a while I think).  I borrowed my sister's sewing machine but haven't done anything and don't really want to or care if I do.  

Baby Prep:  I've lost my motivation to sew or do things for this.  I did get a car seat canopy off a yardsale group on Facebook because I want one but lost all desire there too.    

The Girls:  They are doing great.  They love playgrounds and climbing on things.  They have great imaginative play developing.  They love to ride the tricycles up and down in front of the house.  They are excited for fall/winter/Halloween but not sure the "cold" idea really means much to them yet.  

Seren was disappointed when I didn't come home with baby brother from the doctor's appointment yesterday.  "Awww...no baby brother?"  like he will just be something easy to pick up at the store or doctor and bring home.  Kendall wanted to go to the appointment and I told her I had to take my bottoms off lately and she didn't want to see my bum.  She asked "what's in your bum?" haha funny kids.  Then she said she wanted to go next time so she could play on the playground...bless that sweet honest girl.  

Looking forward to:  Honestly I just want to go into labor now.  Between being uncomfortable and fear of him getting any bigger to possibly not fit I just want to be done now.  Hospital bag is mostly packed so yeah bring it on already.  

Next visit:  September 24th and October 2nd.  Let's plan on cancelling the October 2nd one at least right? 

Update: 35 weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down with face towards my back bone.  He is estimated to weigh 6 1/4 lbs now (more then Seren or Kendall weighed at birth).  So if full-term somewhere around 8 1/4 lb estimate.  Not too terrifying.  I am dilated to 1.5 cm and 50% effaced so nothing serious happening there yet.  I'm supposed to have weekly appointments at this point but Dr B is gone next Thursday and at my last appointment they said "you're probably okay to skip that week and if anything happens let us know" but then the nurse seemed a little more pushy to fit me in on Tuesday.  But really an appointment 4 days after just seeing him and I'm only hitting 36 weeks...I declined but offered to squeeze it in if necessary.  Again the same "you'll probably be fine just let us know".  Of course.  I have braxton hicks a decent amount but no inkling of actual contractions so I'm not worried.

Cravings:  Chocolate.  Sweets give me heartburn sometimes.  Water.  I feel like I drink a lot of water later and I'm still thirsty.  Nothing out of the ordinary food wise though...just my usual temptations.  

Weight Gain:  about 15 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.  

Movement / Symptoms:  He is moving quite a bit still.  Sometimes I feel his bum, foot or knee (who knows) slide across my stomach trying to get comfortable.   He usually likes to start moving the most after we put the girls to bed and I'm chilling on the couch.  

Day to Day:  We are almost to the stopping point for painting the kitchen...one wall left.  I still want to paint his room but my internal motivation is not really there.  My sewing machine had a part issue so I'm borrowing my sister's and hoping for motivation to finish my projects (bedding, car seat canopy thing and some burp clothes)...I'm sure I'm not going to get it all done but I want to try. 

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  This is my first sewing goal.  Followed by ordering last needed items from Amazon along with some Mario wall decals.  

The Girls:  They are doing great.  We took them for a day out yesterday and went downtown.  They had fun.  They love playgrounds and climbing on things.  They have great imaginative play developing.  

As for baby stuff, Seren complains that "baby brother's taking too long" and Kendall doesn't seem to mind.  They comment on my belly being big sometimes.  We got some formula in the mail and I talked to them about baby brother breast feeding and Seren laughed at me and said "nuh uh".  But she mentioned it to Jeff when he got home so it didn't go over her head either.  Kendall is more interested in rocking her baby brother when he arrives.  We brought up the recliner/rocker we used in their nursery and they rocked in it and were excited.

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made and cleaning up the house.  Hospital bag is mostly packed so yeah.  Just basically settling in for the final few weeks and looking forward to his arrival. 

Next visit:  Sept 18th and Sept 24th?? (I think)  Is it bad that I'm hoping those might be the last two.

Donor Egg: Second Go Around

It occurred to me today I haven't thought too much about it this time at all.  This has been a fairly easy breezy pregnancy apart from the morning/evening sickness in the beginning and the lack of sleep that has recently started.  I am starting to wonder a little bit about what he might look like though.  From the 3D ultrasound bits of him we've seen he seems to have Kendall's little nose but we'll see.  Other then that he's been relatively hidden.  I was surprised to hear at our last appointment that he has some hair...like hair enough to show up on ultrasound.  That definitely did not happen with Kendall and Seren.  So I wonder about hair color and eye color.  I suppose like any other parent waiting on the unknown.  I think of how Jeff's nephew had a full head of red hair at birth.  Maybe he'll have red hair like his sister Kendall?  But then do boys with red hair get made fun of?  For girls it's usually an enviable trait.  Maybe he'll be blonde like Seren?  Jeff and I were both tow headed toddlers also.  Maybe it will be brown.  Maybe brown eyes too.  Maybe the donor aspect of genetics will win out this time.  I kind of hope not but I wouldn't mind either and I'm sure he would still be adorable.  So the curiosity for looks is starting to come out I guess.  Everything else is old hat feeling.  They will be who they will be and we will be who we will and parent how we believe is best and hopefully that will lend itself to making some wonderful full-grown humans some day.

I am still grateful for our donor.  It's been 4 years and a bit since she made that difference in our life and the path it might take.  I wonder if she ever thinks about the blessings she helped make possible.  I don't think we were the only successful couple.  I think on talking to the girls about the donor egg aspect again.  I mention it to them but know more will come out as they all grow up.  I'm grateful the three of them will share the same story and genetics.  I would not have wanted to pursue other children with a different donor even if the expenses weren't there.  I think about that sometimes too.  The expense.  I see other couples who discover infertility later in marriage after they've settled into a life, a home and expenses that don't play so nice with adoption fees and infertility expense.  I'm grateful now that infertility was a part of our lives before we even were married or "trying".  I don't think we would have been able to afford things if we had time to get into some debt.  Even the way it was we were pretty much "this cycle or bust".  It was a stressful beginning but it gave us the ability to plan and budget and make decisions.  I wish it were that easy for many and I wish cost and coverage of infertility was more easily accessible.

Anyway I guess not much has changed with donor egg feelings.  I think I'm more relaxed with things and not anxious about the outcome.  These are our babies and I love them and we love them.  I can't wait for this little one to join us.

Update: 33 weeks

Baby update:  Baby boy is still doing really well.  Still head down with face towards my back bone.  So his little bum is probably what keeps poking out the front making me uncomfortable.  He is estimated to weigh 5.5 lbs now (more then Seren weighed at birth and almost what Kendall weighed).  We didn't get a guess on birth weight but supposedly he'll gain 1/2 lb per week until then so around 8 lbs or so.  Also his head measured about 35 weeks so that wasn't great news to me haha.   

Cravings:  Sugar...my usual weakness.  I'm trying to be better.  I love fruit and milk and peanut butter sandwiches too.

Weight Gain:  about 12 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight. 

Movement / Symptoms:  His boney and bumpy parts are starting to poke out more, sometimes not so comfortably but still very cool.  I have tried to get the girls to feel him when his bum or such are sticking out and they say they do but not sure.  They love it and get excited though.  

Day to Day:  I hate bending over and I don't think little man likes it when I do either haha  The girls have gotten good at cleaning up their toys and are super nice to help hand me things on the floor if I ask.  The general painting in the house has continued a little though I have a definite stopping point in mind.  I still want to paint his room so maybe that'll be next.  

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  I actually cut up a little fabric and gave it some thought yesterday.  I bought some fabric and ribbon to work on it also.  Of course I took a really short nap during this also :) haha

The Girls:  They are doing great.  They talk about baby brother getting here and holding him.  Seren wants him to come next week and was not happy to hear it will be a little longer than that.  We were asking them what we should name him and it turned into a big giggle as they kept saying "I have a great name for baby brother...knife" and they'd giggle and then the other would repeat the same statement and "name" of knife.  They were having a great time.  They argue about who will hold him first. I hope the excitement doesn't wear off too quickly though I'm sure it will.  We have play group once a week and they love that.  They love going to Sunday dinners at Jeff's parents where they play with cousins and wear themselves out.  

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made.  Maybe painting.  I started packing a hospital bag with a few things...definitely no where near done.  Need to do some pre-hospital shopping for the house before he comes home too.  Lots to do and I just haven't stressed about it this time so the list isn't really done haha  Oh boy!  Figuring out a name haha...it's still a discussion and undecided.

Next visit:  Sept 4th and Sept 18th.

Little man didn't cooperate for a picture so here's one of him from the outside

Update: 30 weeks

Baby update:  He is doing well.  He measured on target I believe but it wasn't mentioned directly.  I don't worry unless something is mentioned but don't always ask if it isn't.  He weighs about 3.5 lbs and everything was still looking good.

Cravings:  Sandwiches haha I can always be in the mood for a subway.  Sadly Jeff is getting sick of subway being my go-to meal out (it's cheap and park friendly haha)...granted this is only every couple weeks or so.  Chocolate.  Milk.

Weight Gain:  about 10 lbs up from pre-pregnancy weight.

Movement / Symptoms:  His boney and bumpy parts are starting to poke out more, sometimes not so comfortably but still very cool.  He was going crazy the night before our appointment and I kind of think he was making a turnabout now as he was head-down at the appointment.  Good job kiddo now just stay in formation as I'm hoping to avoid slicing and dicing come delivery day.

Day to Day:  Pretty lame here.  I've been trying to clean and organize and that has led to lots of lame days around the house.  I'm not even sure you could tell if it's made a difference sadly.  But the girls are good sports and still enjoy playing on our swing set when the mood strikes them...it's still pretty warm so it's not always often.

Baby Prep:  Super Mario nursery decor.  Still haven't done anything with this.  Hoping to work on it this coming week or next.

The Girls:  They are doing good and playing well together.  They have the funniest expressions they pick up that make us laugh "gimme a break" and others I can't recall right now...so need to write them down.  We have a family reunion for Jeff's side of the family in Idaho this weekend.  The girls are looking forward to seeing the cows up there (hopefully there are a good amount of cows haha) and their cousins (some they see often and others it's been a long time).

Looking forward to:  Getting some nursery stuff made.  Maybe painting.  I will probably start to pack a hospital bag after we get back from Idaho as I didn't do this last time and it will be nice to not throw it together last minute.  Figuring out a name haha...it's still a discussion and undecided.

Next visit:  August 21st and Sept 4th (I make them two at a time now I guess).