Bed rest and the ever loving need for ANOTHER bathroom break...

So today is basically the second day of what I would call modified bed rest. I'm able to get up to eat or drink, shower or use the bathroom. Other than that I was told to be sitting/reclining or lying down the rest of the time and just take it easy. I've been trying to take a few different advices I've gotten: eating fresh pineapple, drinking gatorade and drinking about 96 oz. of water a day. All of which make it impossible to go more then an hour without going to the bathroom. I have to say I love water normally but I'm getting a little sick of drinking it continually. I am hoping that this is good for me and the embryos though. I've had very mild cramping and also hope this is a good sign. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when I can go about daily stuff and still just take it easy but not have to be so restrained with movement.

We don't go for a blood test until May 10th though but I'm thinking I will be testing early at home before then. Jeff and I both agree we want to do that, so that we can absolutely be together when we get the first results. Crossing my fingers...and oh wait...off to the bathroom again HAHA Hope that's not completely TMI.

Transfer Day

Things could not have gone better today. We got up early and did the PIO shot and then hung around in bed and talked. It was fun to start talking about the future possibility. The weather was rainy and we decided to leave a little early. We arrived pretty much right on time though so that was good. We saw someone we knew in the waiting area and quickly took seats facing the opposite direction, although we're pretty sure they saw us too. We both know each other's story though as I had talked to the wife once about our issue and she had talked about theirs (actually a very pleasant and understanding conversation). The nurse called us back though fairly quickly and that was good.


We were brought into the transfer room and they had a chair that looked like a recliner in it and some soft ambient music. They had me get ready and Jeff sat in the chair next to me. We waited for about a half hour and they came and told us the case before us was somewhat complicated and apologized for the delay. One of the songs I've become attached to during this (Collin Haye "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin") played over the speakers while we waited and for some reason it made me tear up and feel good about things too. Like I've said before I believe that music is meant to inspire us, comfort us and provide us with hope. I also believe that music is sometimes God's way of communicating with us and comforting us.


Dr H was in charge of the transfer and came in and talked to us about our embryos prior to the transfer. Of the 15 eggs that had fertilized and continued to divide there were 13 that had made it to day 5. Typical rate is about 50% so I was expecting around 7 to make it. We were both very surprised and felt very lucky it was so good. Dr H also went over the quality of the embryos with us. He told us that one of the embryos was the highest grade they gave and that they only saw one of these a year typically. Because of this and our situation with my only known issue being POF they actually recommended for us to only transfer the one embryo. He went over the stats of it working. It was about 50% with the one embryo and to transfer both was 65% with about 40% chance of twins (with at least a few frozen attempts left too). Jeff and I asked to talk about it alone and after we talked for a couple minutes we still felt better with making the most of our fresh transfer chance by transferring two. Dr H was happy with this and said it was perfectly good decision also. He counted out the embryos and other quality and had us sign a form that said we wanted to transfer two and he gave us a picture of the two highest quality ones they would be transferring. It was really neat and made me a little teary. Dr H then gave me two valium to take to relax during the procedure and then left again to prepare for our transfer and the nurse came in and situated me.


During the transfer they had a monitor on the wall so we could watch our embryos being loaded into the catheter that would be used to place them in my uterus. Jeff and I were able to hold hands and we were both smiling and happy. It was just a good feeling and excitement in the room. Once the transfer was over they had me lay reclined on the chair for a half hour and Jeff and I talked and held hands. Once we were ready to go home they brought a wheelchair in for me which I discovered I definitely needed once I stood up and was pretty dizzy from the valium. We drove home and I slept most of the way and then crashed on the couch. Here's to hoping the two embies feel like sticking around for a while.

National Infertility Awareness Week

April 24th to May 1st is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). Resolve started Project IF to go along with this. Basically asking people experiencing infertility to post their "What IF..." questions and to spread the awareness of infertility. IF is the online abbreviation of infertility. Anyway I added a couple of "What IF...?" questions to their list. There were over 300 when I became aware of the project and added on...it was humbling, interesting and inspiring to read some of the questions. I continue thinking of what if's at times...like one that struck me today "What IF our spare bedroom never has any use beyond storage?" or "What IF there is always this big piece of me (infertility) that I don't share with others?". There really are so many questions that go through your mind during this process and realizing that even when you have children if you are that lucky (as my best friend from high school has told me) it doesn't solve the problem or make everything better (even though people around you expect it to). Anyway I just wanted to share this post and also a video from a blog that I follow. This girl is also a fellow woman diagnosed with POF around my age and some of the thoughts she has and has taken from the IF project. I really enjoyed it and hope you do too (pause or stop my music before starting) :

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

My boyfriend called...

Better late then never and he was indeed a boy. Jeff and I were about to go grocery shopping for our dinner when the phone rang and that beautiful "restricted" phone number came up. I answered it and was given the run down on our eggs. They had actually retrieved 21 eggs from our donor and 20 were mature. Of those 20, 16 fertilized and of those 15 had divided and were looking good. I don't remember the odds I've read about from here...maybe 1/2 of those on average make it to day 5 (I think). I'm hoping for around 8 on Wednesday with a couple that look extra good. They do still plan on a day 5 transfer though so that is good. We should hear again on Tuesday and from there we'll set up an appointment for transfer. Two days left. Jeff and I are both excited and ready to go. I had no idea I could hope for something so badly.

On the only downside...I seem to breaking out a little from the progesterone in oil (PIO) shots. I've got 4 or 5 new pimples this week. Yeah! But the shots are still going well and haven't been an issue for me at all...no lumps, bruises or inability to move...only minor tenderness.

My boyfriend the embryologist...

or girlfriend (I'm not actually sure if they are male or female). All I know is that I had my cell phone on me all day long at work (which I'm not really supposed to do) waiting for their call and it was annoying and reminded me of when I was dating and waiting on a guy to call me. Retrieval day was yesterday and they called me and told me they retrieved 20 eggs (good...the range I was thinking it would be based on the donor's prior cycles). And then I wasn't expecting to hear anything else until Monday but then Nurse L told me that we should be getting a report from the embryologist tomorrow (Saturday). So then I was like sweet more news and where we're at with fertilization rate. However then there was no call in the morning, no call around lunchtime and in fact no call all day long...at all. It really pissed me off. I would rather them not tell me that someone is going to call and have it be a pleasant surprise then be told they will and be stressed and annoyed when it doesn't happen. I am putting it in my mind now that we won't be getting more information until Monday. I hope things are good.

I am definitely more worried now that it's really there. I kept thinking on Friday while I was at work that if we do have a child or children from this that they are currently being created and miles away from me...definitely not the way I thought it would happen but I hope that it still happens more than anything. I told Jeff about the thought of our kids being created and he laughed a little and said he had thought the same thing while he was at work too. Hopefully that's a good sign.

First shot...

This morning we did our first PIO shot. After watching a few videos on youtube and getting instructions from Nurse G this wasn't too bad. I was glad that Jeff was in charge of the sticking and not me though. We decided to do them in the morning as we don't want to worry about injecting me during a night out with friends or other activities. Preparing the shot was the hardest part as the oil is difficult to draw out. But the actual shot wasn't bad. I was expecting Jeff to hesitate more but he just asked if I was ready and then did the shot right after. I can't say I look forward to many more shots but I'm kind of hoping for a couple more months of this (if it works most REs have you do PIO until 10 or 12 weeks pregnant). Here's to 10 more weeks and 70 more shots...yeah! How do you get excited over that...well try being in IF shoes and you will understand :)
*a picture of our new morning routine...needle is 1 1/2" and 22 gauge :P

Also we are told the donor is doing well and responding beautifully. Someone from UCRM called me yesterday (she was pleasant and exciting to talk to)...she was very positive about the donor and how she looked and wished us luck. They do retrieval tomorrow and then hopefully we'll know more later that day. I don't really expect to know a lot until Monday though. Here's hoping though.

Romance and Lining Checks...

You wouldn't think these two things go together but during our weekend they did. Things have been progressing well. I was recently going through a discount card from my old job that was expiring next month and printing off coupons. I came across a local B&B that was offering a discount. I thought of how I wanted to surprise Jeff with something romantic and fun to show appreciation for the support he's been with the DE IVF appointments and just all the infertility stuff leading up to this. He's been my sanity and rock. Anyway I decided on a whim to schedule a night stay. I contacted Nurse G regarding schedule and any "conflicts". She advised we were to start abstinence the week prior to retrieval but other than that to have fun (I really like her a lot more now that I see she is organized and caring).

Anyway this left me with one weekend available to schedule this. I reserved a room (Venice...bed and couch are set in a "gondola" and other fun amenities) and then on Sunday morning while Jeff played a game on his computer I secretly packed a bag for us and got his work clothes ready for the next morning. Luckily for me we had agreed to dinner in Salt Lake that night and then Jeff suggested a "pointless drive" to cross another item off my list (it's fun that he's picking up interest in the list).

It went so smooth and he didn't suspect a thing. I drove on the way back "home" and even more luck struck and there was an accident on I-15 with expected delays so I told Jeff I was getting off the exit to avoid this. He didn't suspect anything until I missed the turn to head north still. It was perfect. He was surprised and appreciative and it was fun to be somewhere fun and relax...I love surprising him and treating him (okay treating us) to a relaxing time since I know the next few weeks will be worrisome and stressful. It was much needed.

We went to the lining check appointment the next day (everything looked good) and my ovaries are still raisins which was a relief for once. We were told the donor is responding well and although they don't know for sure yet she appears to be doing as well as her first two cycles. We also met with Nurse G and were given instruction on how to do the PIO shots (which should start Thursday) and now we are armed and hopefully ready for the next step. I think we're both getting more nervous but we're also hopeful.