Day 7: Potty Training Twins

We are into Day 7 now.  It's been a week.  We are all still alive.  Some of us are still in diapers and some of us wish everyone was still in diapers.  Yesterday, Kendall was still having the same "performance anxiety" on the toilet.  She would hold it for hours and when she squirmed or had "that look" I knew she had to go.  But she would either refuse the potty or not let it go until just after getting off the potty.  After two accidents directly after sitting on the potty I decided maybe Kendall just wasn't ready.  I gave her the option of wearing a panty or a diaper and she firmly wanted the diaper.  They say you should never go back once you set off but who cares.  Kendall is so much happier and less stressed (this makes two of us) now that she in a diaper and can just observe Seren being trained.  It has taken stress off me to not be juggling two little girls.  And Seren has been doing great.  She pees almost every time she sits down.  She pooped on the grown up toilet today.  Granted we still need to work on telling me instead of me reminding but this is total progress and I'm not complaining.  I still offer Kendall to sit on the potty if she ever acts interested but I don't push anything beyond that.  I know many twin moms train at the same time.  I really love the idea of it but in practice it was not working for us.  I plan to work with Seren on it for a while and then about the time I transition her to real panties I think we'll give Kendall another good shot at it.  Here is hoping.

For what it's worth...I like what I read on someone's blog about not mentioning potty training to friends in case they the trainer bailed or didn't follow through.  Amen to this!  I wish I didn't mention it to friends.  The only good thing that came out of this was that I stuck to my guns more this time.  Other than that it has felt like added pressure on me to make it work or know what the heck I'm doing.  Also, being the mom with the oldest daughters of my close friends I felt like I should train first (imagine big scary cliff haha).  I do secretly hope that training doesn't come super easy to my friends (come on that would be totally unfair).  But seriously who cares.  Seren will catch on.  Kendall will catch on.  It'll all be dandy (and dry) in the end.

Day 4: Potty Pooper...

and no I'm not referring to any two-sies hitting the toilet.  Those have all been misses.  They should totally give you a huge warning before going into potty training that you need patience times a billion.  I have had patience for three days.  Accidents didn't phase me much and success was praised.  Today (day #4) was the worst day yet.  From the moment they woke up they refused to sit on the toilet.  I have asked them to.  I have told them to.  I have set the timer and told them the timer says it's time.  No. No. No. Crying no.  Yelling no.  Wet panties.  Soiled panties.  One or two successes from Seren.  Zero for Kendall.  I eased up and just tried to let them tell me when they wanted to go and only asked when they squirmed or were headed to the bathroom solo.  Kendall told me she had to pee and sat on the potty.  Nothing and then a minute or two later came to me with soggy underwear.  She told me she had to poo and we looked at and read books on the potty for 5 minutes or more.  A couple minutes after leaving the bathroom she came back to me saying she had to pee...but wait she had already pooped in her underwear.  I lost my patience and cried in front of them...much to their dismay.  I think they tried harder after that but still they would sit on the potties only to hop off and pee within minutes.  Ugh!!  Lunchtime came and after lunch I tried telling them to go to the potty again and was met with more "no!".  I was irritated and mad.  I yelled.  I sent them to their room with pull ups on for a nap and called it an afternoon.  Holy hell do I ever wish this was easier.  Maybe that I had waited longer.  That I was only potty training one at a time. Nap time hit and I drank most of a 2-liter of Dr Pepper (I don't drink alcohol so this is the best I could do HAHA), ate the rest of the M&Ms that were meant for their rewards and took a big giant chill pill.  They are still sleeping and I'm devising my plan of attack for tomorrow.

-  Feed them a good breakfast.  The bad days seem to happen with cereal.  Oatmeal and pancakes they devour and stick with them so that seems to help.
-  Potty Training Mantra:  If they aren't hiding it they are on the right track.  In other words if they come to the bathroom or to me even after an accident then something must be clicking even a little bit.

So far that's all I've got.  I need a magic pill for patience and I'll be set.  Reading online that it can take months helps a little...it's depressing but it helps.  Anyway more undies to wash and dry before this day is over.

Nap time is over and they are still refusing to sit on the potty when asked.  Kendall sat for 5 or 10 minutes on her own with books and toys but no results.  I am feeling done but they also say "no!" to going back in diapers.  Is this totally normal defiance?  How do you get past this stage?

Update:   I read up and asked advice of parents online about the defiance and took the positive attention only approach.  Don't get upset, don't give them power with "no" and just let it slide and positively reinforce everything you want to happen while ignoring things you don't.   Things went better over the weekend.  Perhaps because Jeff was there to help juggle the two.  Perhaps it was the hearty breakfast of pancakes.  Perhaps it was giving up some control and not pushing when they said "no".  I did give in to Pull Ups for the road and a couple errands.  They kept them dry once after being out for almost an hour.  They peed or tried to pee at Grandma's house over the weekend.  Seren pooped in the potty for Jeff.  Kendall sat on the toilet at home on her own for 20 minutes or more reading books and playing games on the tablet.

Day 1 & 2: Potty Power...

Maybe if you've potty trained and watched any of the videos out there for kids the song will get stuck in your head too.  If not feel free to YouTube it and you'll know what I'm talking about.  You're welcome.

We are on day 2 of potty training both girls at the same time.  I'm better today than yesterday and I'm sticking it out this time for the long haul.  I know it is going to stick this time and they are going to get it.  Please let me be right.

Day 1 was traumatic.  Kendall picked the wrong day to start an ignoring mom charade and I picked a bad day to discipline her about it.  Seren did great and peed on the potty several times and only really wet her training pants once and then a few times when daddy came home.  Kendall had no successes.  She was excited to sit on the potty (training potty and potty insert both) but wouldn't pee.  I put her in a diaper just before nap time and she promptly filled it up so I knew she had to go.  Mid way through the day I traded the toilet inserts for the cushier and more secure one and this seemed to help her willingness to sit longer but she was obviously distressed at peeing.  I read up on it during nap time and asked friends' advice.  One suggestion and attempt at getting her going by pouring water over her just made her more mad and upset.  I gave up a little and just let her wet her training pants and feel it was uncomfortable.  Jeff came home and after an hour of me trying still with him around (the girls seemed to lose focus and pee more) I went in our room and let him take it on for a half hour or so.  Lots of wet panties and a couple poopy panties until bedtime.  The girls got pull ups for bedtime and naps.  I wanted to change their routine enough for them to see a difference with no more diapers.

Day 2 was better.  They had a role reversal and Seren started having issues holding it until she got to the bathroom.  I convinced Kendall she could play with my tablet if she sat on the potty.  She plopped right down on the cushy potty insert and played for 10 minutes or so as I raced Seren from the front room with an accident, tried to get her to pee on the smaller potty and proceeded to make her clean up the wet undies and check the carpet.  Somewhere in the midst of this I heard Kendall peeing on the toilet and I raced to praise her.  She definitely seemed worried like she was in trouble and so I praised and hugged and that got her smiling.  It must have clicked because an hour or so later she was hurrying to the bathroom and getting herself on the potty to pee again.  Lots of praise for every success for both of them today but feeling setbacks with Seren.  I am hoping it will click for Seren in the 'holding it' department in the next couple days and that Kendall will relax a little more.  Kendall definitely has trouble eliminating.  She can hold it but can't seem to stop the flow so she gets all scared once she's going on the toilet and wants to hop off...not a good thing mid-stream needless to say.

Day 3 has yet to be seen....

Potty training any child is an adventure for sure.  Potty training twins is a circus if you ask me.  I am the clown juggling the balls and I keep hoping eventually I will stop dropping them.

Enjoying a reward this morning after peeing on the potty

Language Laughs

I don't know if I mentioned in my development post but Kendall calls Seren "Dobbie" for now.  I had no idea what "Dobbie" was or what Kendall meant but she kept saying.  Finally Seren said to me "Dobbie...me" pointing to herself and Kendall says "yeah!" in this 'duh mom' sort of tone.  Too funny.

Kendall was trying to get her shoes on a while back and starts saying "Help me Dobbie.  Dobbie!  Dobbie help me" in broken record fashion.  Seren finally goes over to help her and the two of them work on it for a minute and then Kendall sighs "Mommy! Help me mommy!"

Both girls love to help with whatever is going on as well.  You unload the dishwasher, they want to dry and hand you dishes (unbreakables of course).  We were putting together a Little Tykes playground set this morning and they were right there trying to grab screws and screwdrivers (and of course eager to jump on it).  I also was distressing a dresser I painted for our room and they both wanted in on that with "Help.  I wanna help...I wanna help".

Kendall recently we think is even surpassing Seren with her vocabulary.  She learns new words all the time and is beginning to pick up on her letters and colors as well.  She is so excited about the words that she learns...poop, sorry, apple, etc.  We taught them both to say "apple...it's goooood"  (from Enchanted) and Kendall loves to do this now and get the giggles out of us.  Both are doing great with language.

We recently put our swings back up now that the snow has melted and they love it.  We have a large swing set (left with the house) and the large little tyke climber / slide (which I'm so grateful for after last year's broken leg).  Seren still has no fear though silly girl.

I was swinging with Seren in one of the swings a couple days ago and told her we should do "the spider" (where she would sit on my lap facing me).  I asked if she knew how to do the spider and she got excited and said "yes" and started singing and doing the hand motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider...so adorable.

Then we were asking them later that night who they loved and we asked Seren who she loved the most and she says "me" (good girl) and then we asked who she loved next most.  She thought for a second and said "bananas" and then who...thinking again "mommy".  So yep I'm right up there with bananas.

It is so fun to listen to their language and personalities develop more and more.

Live with content or regret...

This has been my question lately.  I am so happy and content with our girls.  But I wonder if we move on with donating our remaining embryos if I will regret it later.  I love the idea of another baby and I love the idea of a sibling for the girls beyond each other.  But I also love the equilibrium we have with the girls.  Even odds definitely has its benefits when parenting.

Every day is a different answer for me.  Yep it's settled...I want another kid.  The next day (usually after tantrums and poor parenting)...are you kidding me, I can barely handle the two we have.  And it just keeps on this revolving path.  No for sure answer.  Generally speaking I do feel better in my gut as to leaning towards another shot.  But still not sure enough to actually decide.

I don't know how people ever decide.  Going from one child to two would be a relatively easy answer for me (if that were the case and a second were possible)...the only child idea is lack luster for me.  But we have two and they are a far cry from ever being lonely.  I don't think they've ever been without each other for more than a few hours.  How do those with two happy kids make the leap to have a third?

I can so relate to New Normal's post today about listening to your heart over your head.  Sometimes I feel like I can't even tell which one is logic and which one is emotion.  But my heart and head are very distinct in their worries and answers.  Why do we need another child when we have two of the greatest right here?  Why not add another if it feels like the right thing to do?  What if it throws off our groove and things don't have that balance again?  What if we regret it later when the choice is no longer possible to make?  What if this other child feels lost in the shuffle of two parents together and twin sisters together and then them?  When you can so easily picture another child in the family does that mean one will be "missing" if it doesn't happen?

Ughhh...I wish there was a firm answer.  So far there isn't though.

Update: 26 Months or is it 2 years 2 months?

I really only plan on doing something like this every 6 months now but things are going so well with language and catching up so quickly I thought I'd put one up.  Once again for me and the girls to remember so...

Eating:  They eat 3 meals a day and one or two snacks depending on how they do at meal times.  They are eating better at meals and try new things more often (maybe because I starve them a little before dinner haha).  We still give them gummy vitamins.

Foods They Like:  chicken pot pie (homemade), enchiladas, minestrone, chicken nuggets, almost anything chicken now (doing so much better with meat in general),  oatmeal with yogurt, yogurt alone, string cheese, they love most fruit (bananas, oranges, blueberries, apples), carrots, broccoli, sour cream (they eat it by the spoonful...good thing they need the calories haha), pancakes, cereal, marshmallows, vitamin gummies, etc.  

Foods They Don't: salad (they eat it if it's got dressing or something on it), vegetables (doing much better with veggies but still not a strong suit).

Favorite Things: our dog Thor...they chase him around and squeal with laughter (I think he enjoys it too) and they love to "hug" or kiss him goodnight (which he tolerates), they love books, puzzles, singing, dancing, etc.  Book: Seren loves the "Potty Book for Girls" and Kendall loves picture books and "Baby Says Moo".  She points to the red-headed baby/toddler girl in the book and says "me...me".

Dislikes:  Being told what to do and time outs.  Kendall actually doesn't mind time outs and if she's causing trouble and you say "do you want to go to time out?" she'll say "yes" and take herself to the wall for time out.  She is very sensitive to tone of voice though and cries at the littlest scolding.  Being helped with anything...must put clothes on themselves, must climb into their car seat by themselves, must do anything and everything they can for themselves.

Favorite Toys:  Their doll strollers, their tricycles are popular (can't reach the pedals but they push and steer all over the house), my old Wonder Horse, puzzles and books.  And as always whatever toy the other one has.

Their Accomplishments:  They play well together and look out for each other.  They are super smart and understand so many things.  They jump and actually catch a little air.  They both get dressed and undressed mostly on their own.  They can both open doors now. 

Teeth:  Both still waiting on 2 year molars.

Verbal:   They are doing better with speech.  Our speech therapist seems to think if Kendall starts getting on track with amount of words she's learning that we can evaluate again and discontinue services.  She has been learning a new word almost every day recently so I don't think we're far off of that.  Both try to copy words you give them now which is awesome as Kendall wasn't much of a copy cat before.  I think this has helped build her confidence to talk. 

Sleep:  They sleep about 12 hours a night.  They are off and on with naps.  

Potty training:  We're back to considering the wagon.  Seren has been very good at using the bathroom whenever she feels the urge and 90% of the time she is able to pee when she asks to go.  Kendall likes to sit on the potty still but doesn't pee.  I'm not sure what to do.  I don't want Kendall to not succeed and feel bad if Seren is succeeding.  But I feel like if I potty train them separate she'll feel left out anyway.  Thinking maybe if Kendall drinks more and is given more opportunity it might happen.  We'll see...not going to try until music group ends with E.I. in a few weeks.

Favorite memories:  Seren feeding Kendall her oatmeal because Kendall had polished her own off and was "begging" saying "ah ah...me, me".  The giggle fits and fun new games they find.  Playing hide and seek in the house with them.

Making Friends With HRT...

...again!  I stopped using birth control / HRT last summer.  And not for any great reason...our insurance didn't cover what I liked and I was too busy (and or lazy) to call in for a different prescription.  But I have felt like poop and not like myself really for a few months or more so I decided I'd better get back to my old friend HRT.  I think it is a combination between my thyroid meds being lowered from 150 mcg to 112 mcg...my labs coming back out of range (hypo) but my doctor saying "they're close enough".  Bye bye to that doctor!  He's been bugging and pissing me off since the first time I saw him...I tried to avoid another appointment with him but the clinic forced me back to him.  Do you suppose he has trouble obtaining or retaining patients?

But anyway yep went back to my ob/gyn that provided care and delivered the girls.  He's such a good doctor.  I asked him about the thyroid meds and he said it wasn't uncommon to be that little out of range and he wouldn't consider therapy for the level.  When I told him I was on thyroid replacement he then said that it was not a very good range for someone on medicine and offered to just bump it up.  Yeah!  I hope that helps.  I'm also trying again with the NuvaRing and hoping insurance will cover it now...he said things have changed with it being accepted by most insurance.  Here's hoping.  I know it'll be better for my body to be back on some sort of hormones...so either way I will stick to something.

Also...Is it just me or do any fellow POF/POI ladies still hate checking the "post menopausal" box on the patient questionnaire??  I feel so limited by that assumption and so old.  I mean like hell my body will function or have a period on it's own but do I have to call it menopause when I'm barely in my 30s.  Boo to that!  Just a side note haha.