I saw this video on a Google site or advertisement and fell in the love with the idea. I immediately signed the girls up for emails (PS They have to be at least 18 years old to have a gmail account...I gave them my birthday hehe) and began writing them. So far their inbox only has a few emails each. But I plan on keeping it up and getting Jeff to write them too (at least occasionally) and maybe including grandparents once in a while too. I hope so anyway...sometimes I dream big :)
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Donor Egg Choice
Using donor eggs to get pregnant was never something I felt was a forced choice. True it wasn't fantastic news to find out I couldn't get pregnant naturally and it would cost so much to have kids. And I definitely went through some grieving over a loss of genetics...something I thought was so important at the time. But I was still so grateful to know I had a chance to get pregnant and carry our children. A pretty good chance based on my diagnosis and according to my research.
In all honesty we had other choices we could have made. We could have pursued adoption. We could have lived child free. We could have kept trying things with my own body (we never got too crazy with this). We chose donor eggs because it made the most sense to us. We wanted a family; there was no doubt about that. It was what we felt was the best guarantee and it allowed us more control over our situation. When it came to infertility that was something I really wanted...a feeling of control. We controlled the timeline not some adoption agency or pregnant woman looking through profiles. We controlled the prenatal care these children would receive. There wasn't someone else in charge or someone who could take the possibility of a child away from us (at least if we had trust in our donor which we did based on her prior cycles and history). It was the best choice for us.
So when I read informational articles, news or other blogs that act as if women are forced into this decision and are mourning their losses the whole way or even worse after they are blessed with children through donor egg...it really irks me. I honestly don't think it's true for most women of donor egg children. I just feel like some may rush into donor egg and not really process it all and truly accept it as a good route and choice for them. But truth be told there were and are other options. They chose this and to look at it as anything that was forced by the hand they were dealt makes me feel like those beautiful and amazing gifts they were given are being discredited.
Yes it can be hard to give up some piece of your dream and have it realized another way. But it is still realized. For me I feel like it has been realized beyond anything I ever dreamed of before or after infertility became a part of my life.
In all honesty we had other choices we could have made. We could have pursued adoption. We could have lived child free. We could have kept trying things with my own body (we never got too crazy with this). We chose donor eggs because it made the most sense to us. We wanted a family; there was no doubt about that. It was what we felt was the best guarantee and it allowed us more control over our situation. When it came to infertility that was something I really wanted...a feeling of control. We controlled the timeline not some adoption agency or pregnant woman looking through profiles. We controlled the prenatal care these children would receive. There wasn't someone else in charge or someone who could take the possibility of a child away from us (at least if we had trust in our donor which we did based on her prior cycles and history). It was the best choice for us.
So when I read informational articles, news or other blogs that act as if women are forced into this decision and are mourning their losses the whole way or even worse after they are blessed with children through donor egg...it really irks me. I honestly don't think it's true for most women of donor egg children. I just feel like some may rush into donor egg and not really process it all and truly accept it as a good route and choice for them. But truth be told there were and are other options. They chose this and to look at it as anything that was forced by the hand they were dealt makes me feel like those beautiful and amazing gifts they were given are being discredited.
Yes it can be hard to give up some piece of your dream and have it realized another way. But it is still realized. For me I feel like it has been realized beyond anything I ever dreamed of before or after infertility became a part of my life.
Monday, October 31, 2011
HAPPY HALLOWEEN...
...from our "treats"
Halloween 2011
Kendall
I can't get my ghetto photo edit to rotate these
Seren
but they are still stinkin cute
For the first Halloween I can remember I didn't really dress up. My husband suggested us being bug catchers and so I made some butterfly/bug nets and we dressed in khakis for a Halloween party but other than that we put no effort into ourselves. I did however make their costumes so I think that more than makes up for my lacking in other areas. Happy Halloween everyone!
Friday, October 28, 2011
10 months old
Height/Weight: Unsure...haven't measured them lately. Hopefully longer and heavier :)
Eating: 6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 3-4 ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces). Oh and finger foods...I don't really know how to add those in. I usually give them a snack in the morning and while we eat dinner.
Eating: 6 oz of formula 3 times a days with 3-4 ounces of solids and then a bottle at bed (4-6 ounces). Oh and finger foods...I don't really know how to add those in. I usually give them a snack in the morning and while we eat dinner.
Foods They Like: Anything they can feed themselves (toast, cereal, bananas, etc; cheese was ok). Also beans, ham, yams, fruit and squash.
Foods They Don't: There isn't much these days. Seren has wanted nothing to do with solids the last week but I think it's due to her tummy being upset. Seren's appetite is returning and now Kendall is the one that's sick.
Favorite Things: They still love each other (more and more). They seem to like to get in each other's space even more now. They will nuzzle heads together and sometimes lean in on purpose to squeal or laugh at each other. Kendall still loves to play with Thor and he's a good sport as she grabs his tags and plays keep away or tug-o-war (accidentally I'm sure) with his toys. Seren is our chatty girl still. She also has taken to this devilish little grin (wrinkling her eyes and forehead with how big she smiles).
Dislikes: Being hungry and tired. For Seren I will add teething...she seems to be getting there and has been very cranky and needy the last few days. Kendall has a tooth cutting through and I never even knew it based on her behavior.
Their Accomplishments: They are both pulling up onto anything in site (this started a few days after they turned 9 months) and shuffle very minimally around this way. Kendall likes to clap now and gets especially excited when it makes noise. She also claps a lot when we put their trays on for finger food (I think she likes it). They sit very well on their own. They can eat finger food with precision now. They are both able to fully crawl and are gaining speed...oh boy. They seem to understand trouble or mischief a little more. They love to crawl to the bathroom upstairs if we forget to close it and if you catch them half-way sometimes they try to crawl faster thinking they'll beat you.
Our Accomplishments: We have them on a good schedule for eating, napping and sleeping. We take them out when we want to although sometimes still rare based on funds. Jeff works full-time days, I work part-time swing shift now and we balance out the girls between us still. Very blessed to have the ability to work with/around the girls instead of the girls around our work.
Sleep: Still sticking to our routine and loving it. They sleep 11-12 hour nights. They have once again stopped waking in the middle of the night and sleep a solid night through. They take one 2 hour nap at 10 am and 1 hour nap at 2:30pm.
Looking forward to: Looking forward to more mobility but also scared of two toddlers running around. Still looking forward to more freedom with food (although having more freedom now I'm realizing this will just mean more work in preparing meals; no more freezer cubed baby food). Planning their 1st birthday...with their birthday 3 days after Christmas it's now or never.
DE Mom musings: We watched our wedding video (with baby pictures in it) this past month and I kind of found myself wondering if I physically look like I could be their mother. I think I do...at least enough that it doesn't bother me or make me think on it much. Although it's still a little sad when people say how much the girls look like Jeff and of course never like me (just a little selfish thought I guess). Jeff was little more open with their conception story with our close friends (our best friends who know that donor egg aspect and our close friend couple who does not) and it made me a little nervous some donor aspect might slip out around the second couple. I don't know why. I'm still protective over that because I want our girls to "get it" before anyone else is told.
*pictures to come*
*pictures to come*
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Twice the Fun...
When the girls were first born and we were struggling to keep them fed and changed and fed again I had this weird little notion. That when they were bigger and able to do more for themselves that it would be kind of like morphing them into one child and it wouldn't be any harder than taking care of one. That it might actually be as easy because they would have each other and they would entertain each other.
Well now I realize there is no denying it. They are twice the work. But they are definitely twice the fun. They are both crawling all over the house and pulling up on everything they can get a grip on. I love to just watch them sometimes. They will crawl towards each other and just smile or Seren will get the giggles as Kendall paws at her face or hair. They steal toys from each other and play tug of war over one they like. Then they smile and giggle as they "fight" over who gets to play with it. Luckily this "sharing" hasn't been a bad thing yet.
They both love to lay on my stomach and turn one cheek to my mouth for kisses. I'll kiss their cheeks repeatedly and sometimes they laugh and sometimes they just relax and seem content. A couple days ago I was lying on the floor to play with them and Seren crawled over to me. I pointed to my cheek and said "kiss" and made kissy noises and she crawled a little closer and laid a wide open wet mouth on my cheek. I have no idea if it was intentional but she did it again later that day and once the next day so I like to think it was.
It is so much fun watching them together and seeing them interact. Also just seeing their different personalities and strengths. I think they aid each other. Seren is still the more social and giggly baby and she helps Kendall to interact and get the giggles too. Kendall is our little active and daredevil child and she has the little bruises on her head to prove it. She is almost always the first to try things. Seren watches her and follows her lead. They are just the best and I am so lucky.
Well now I realize there is no denying it. They are twice the work. But they are definitely twice the fun. They are both crawling all over the house and pulling up on everything they can get a grip on. I love to just watch them sometimes. They will crawl towards each other and just smile or Seren will get the giggles as Kendall paws at her face or hair. They steal toys from each other and play tug of war over one they like. Then they smile and giggle as they "fight" over who gets to play with it. Luckily this "sharing" hasn't been a bad thing yet.
They both love to lay on my stomach and turn one cheek to my mouth for kisses. I'll kiss their cheeks repeatedly and sometimes they laugh and sometimes they just relax and seem content. A couple days ago I was lying on the floor to play with them and Seren crawled over to me. I pointed to my cheek and said "kiss" and made kissy noises and she crawled a little closer and laid a wide open wet mouth on my cheek. I have no idea if it was intentional but she did it again later that day and once the next day so I like to think it was.
It is so much fun watching them together and seeing them interact. Also just seeing their different personalities and strengths. I think they aid each other. Seren is still the more social and giggly baby and she helps Kendall to interact and get the giggles too. Kendall is our little active and daredevil child and she has the little bruises on her head to prove it. She is almost always the first to try things. Seren watches her and follows her lead. They are just the best and I am so lucky.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day...
Today is worldwide pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day (miscarriages, stillbirths and SIDS). I never really knew that this would strike so close to my heart as it does now. I know of four women in real life that have suffered the loss of their babies. I'm sure there are many many more in my life who have suffered miscarriages without mention but feel the loss just as deeply. And of course endless numbers of women in the world who have. Many of these I've become familiar with through blogs and felt their grief through their words.
Three of the women I know actively participate in SHARE , a national program that helps remember these women and their children. There is a walk going on to commemorate and gather their family and friends together today. Such a wonderful program. Their website also gives advice on how to be supportive.
Somewhat like infertility I used to think that things like this would rarely if ever happen to those I love and care about. But like infertility this is a part of so many lives. Some people are vocal about it and some are more private. Either way we need to find ways to support them in a way that works for the person and family.
It isn't a crime to remember their children and talk about their children. They think about them all the time and (for the most part) I think it is comforting for them to know they aren't the only ones that do.
*In memory of Everhett, Emily, Preston and Armando and their beautiful strong mothers and families*
Three of the women I know actively participate in SHARE , a national program that helps remember these women and their children. There is a walk going on to commemorate and gather their family and friends together today. Such a wonderful program. Their website also gives advice on how to be supportive.
Somewhat like infertility I used to think that things like this would rarely if ever happen to those I love and care about. But like infertility this is a part of so many lives. Some people are vocal about it and some are more private. Either way we need to find ways to support them in a way that works for the person and family.
It isn't a crime to remember their children and talk about their children. They think about them all the time and (for the most part) I think it is comforting for them to know they aren't the only ones that do.
*In memory of Everhett, Emily, Preston and Armando and their beautiful strong mothers and families*
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
First Family Picture
Okay it's actually kind of the second but the one from the hospital was not so attractive of me. We actually had my cousin do these pictures (she also took their 6 month pictures). This is just a sneak peak from her Facebook page so the quality isn't the best (yet) but I adore it. I still can't believe we got any pictures with the girls both looking at the camera (and smiling to boot). Holy freakin amazing!!
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