Missing Memories and Moving...

I've been revisiting this blog and the updates and pictures.  It makes me sad that I have missed putting on paper the past couple of years.  So much has happened and also just missing writing about memories with my kiddos.  Nolan is three now and such a smart and sometimes sassy thing.  Kendall and Seren are seven.  Seven!! Wow!  They are in first grade now and doing so great at school.  The three of them usually get along like peas in a pod.  Okay yes they fight a fair amount too but generally they look out for each other.  I love watching them grow and I love watching them love on one another.  We are so truly blessed to have such a wonderful little family. 

That being said I still want to blog.  I have decided to move where my main blogging happens however and to leave my donor egg thoughts and blogging on this blog.  They seem to be fewer and further between and much less about my kiddos.  So this blog won't completely disappear and I will be leaving it up.  My hope would be that maybe it will be helpful for others who find themselves in shoes similar to mine.  POF can be very lonely and no one should have to feel so alone.  I am grateful for social media and blogging.  It has been the only way I have connected with other women dealing with POF and donor egg.  If you need to connect with someone I hope you'll find me.

In the meantime though I'm hoping to start a more family centered and fun memory keeping blog.  If you feel like following me further you can find it here.  There isn't much to see yet...literally decided on and found a name for it yesterday. 

Pass the Patient (aka Hot Potato or Doctor Shopping)

Dr L gave up on me around May 2016.  Okay maybe not gave up.  She's still my ob/gyn (do I still bother adding the ob part??).  Anyway after some further testing on my TSH not coming back in easy range she decided that she's probably not the best person to be covering my medical needs.  She asked me to research endocrinologists and try to get an appointment.  She said she would do a referral for anyone that I could find accepting patients.  So begrudgingly I went off looking for ANOTHER new doctor.  I am really sick of finding new doctors.  I've given up at this point on finding one who actually knows anything about treating POF or anyone who thinks I deserve treatment beyond HRT and thyroid meds. 

I researched Dr ratings and found a local endo who has decent ratings and reviews stating he actually listens to them and not just test results.  Dr Al-Reyes (I'll call him Dr Al).  I request an appointment and explain my medical needs to the receptionist.  They ask for Dr L to refer me and I call her office and get that ball rolling.  I then wait 2-3 months (I don't remember). 

I went to see Dr Al in December 2016 (I think).  Another Dr under my belt.  Yay!  I'm so proud.  He's okay.  Nothing great.  He listened to me explain my situation and I'm focused on POF and forget to mention that I was diagnosed with Graves and my thyroid was radiated.  Really?  I can't even keep my own medical history straight.  He tries to explain POF to me...OH MY HELL!! Really?  Yep got it and yep I know why things aren't working.  10 years Dr Al!! 10 years...I think I know enough to understand the basics.  MORON!  Anyway he does some blood work and adjusts my thyroid medicine.  Highest dose I've had since I don't know when...I feel good on that so I let the POF treatment slide for the first appointment.  I do get blood work to verify Nuvaring is giving me enough hormones. 

In between appointments, I decide maybe if my thyroid level feels normal maybe I will.  Sex drive is still in the crapper.  Maybe it's 10 years of marriage.  I don't know what's normal.  My pubic hair has pretty much thinned to nothing (yep I went there).  This makes me think that my hormone levels are too low for someone my age.  I should think my appearance would be more normal for a 37 year old if I was getting the hormones I'm supposed to.  Maybe my body has just hit the 10 year post diagnosis mark and decided to go downhill. 

So I am still seeing Dr Al.  He seems to get the thyroid stuff.  He thinks I have poly-glandular syndrome (multiple endocrine systems affecting each other or shutting down; autoimmune).  I still think he's pulling at straws as when I read about poly glandular syndrome it generally doesn't mention secondary POF although primary hypogonadism is possible.  Also the thyroid and ovaries aren't usually affected together from what I can tell.  I don't know.  Guess I'll have to ask God someday what the crap happened because it doesn't appear that any doctor or man on earth has a freaking clue. 

Still An Anomaly...

*a year or two old post...sitting in draft*

I really hate finding doctors.  I hate going over my medical history again.  I hate doctors that treat me like I've never researched my condition; a condition I've now had nearly 10 years.  That being said I still like my new doctor.  She did research on her own before my appointment, she listened to my concerns, she consulted with another doctor about her recommendations and she read up on one of my questions and called me later in the day after my appointment.  I guess it still just stinks and is depressing to hear you don't fit the mold of a normal functioning young woman.  I mean I am still relatively young.  Damn I feel old sometimes when I go to the doctor though.

Dr L who I'm assuming has at least a few years on me hasn't hit menopause yet and mentions to me (the one who did unwillingly years before) that she dreads it.  Gee thanks doc.  I wanted different hormones with a mix of testosterone to help with my libido.  She explains that testosterone isn't recommended for menopausal women, except in premature ovarian failure cases.  So I get a pass on the whole FDA suggestion due to my age and desire for a more normal life...swell.  Then Dr L says something along the lines of I'm going to consult with someone (ie your case is unique and I haven't actually encountered it before).  She returns and after saying she and another doctor compared notes and read something together it's decided the best route.  Before the appointment ends she reassures me that this is a perfectly good route to go.  "I have many patients who take this and a few who refuse to stop taking it even though it's not recommended for their age.  I've just never prescribed it to someone as young as you are."  Once again making me feel like a medical guinea pig for her.  I hate that.

Keeping Up Shop...

It's been two months sense I stopped breastfeeding.  I wanted to go longer but I was desperate for good sleep and it didn't seem like it would happen with Nolan still breastfeeding.  We waiting out the holidays.  It didn't seem right to torture a little baby during a happy time of year.  Then as soon as my sister returned home from an over night stay with us for New Years Eve and day we called it.  On January 2nd, at 15 months, Nolan had one very long hysterical night.  I had weaned him down to nighttime feeding and occasional bedtime snacks.  But taking away the middle of the night cuddles and nursing was definitely hard on him.  The three of us slept only three or four hours that night.  The girls slept through the banshee screams and bemoaning of fate that was Nolan.  The next night was easier but he still cried for a couple hours before giving up.  The third night he slept 9 hours.  By the fourth night he was sleeping great and all night long.  Horrible feeling coupled with the wonderful feeling of getting sleep.  The first great sleep I had in a year and a half.

Anyway the ending of breastfeeding brought me back into self-care mode.  I wanted to get back on hormone replacement to feel better.  To hopefully lose some weight, especially in my tummy region.  To protect my bones and heart.  I needed to do what my body needed.  I set up an appointment with a different ob/gyn who is closer to where we live.  My prior ob/gyn was well loved but he had delivered my babies and I was done with that road.  I wanted a different feeling, different office not slam full of pregnant women and a doctor who's main reason for seeing me was to care for my POI.

Dr L was good.  Her office was still had pregnant women and baby pictures (though not as many).  She focused on my self-care with POI and I was grateful for that.  She wanted to make sure I would get the hormones that I needed.  She wasn't a fan of bio identical hormones which I wanted to consider but she was informed and had good reasons.  She was helpful in doing or offering everything else I asked about.  She set up a DEXA scan for my bones.  She was happy to hear of our success having the children with donor eggs. She was supportive.  In general I think she'll be a good match.

I went in for my DEXA scan a couple days later.  I filled out a questioner geared toward menopause, hysterectomies and aging.  I got to explain for the hundredth time (the second time that week) to a medical assistant why I hadn't had a period in almost 2 years despite my age.  I changed into bone density scanning friendly clothing and went to the next waiting area.  I hung out with a cute old bitty who was probably someone's grandmother.  There was an unfinished puzzle on the table and tub of lifesaver breath mints next to my  chair.  They truly catered to their crowd.  It reminded me again that I was really quite out of place in this menopausal age bracket.  I didn't feel old but I had a feeling in the vein of being sorry for myself (not sure how else to put it).  The feeling that despite trying to always be mindful of my luck and blessings sometimes creeps in.  It comes around when I realize that most women my age don't have to worry about menopause for another 15-20 years.  That the general population of parents and mothers don't require a third party on top of a fertility specialists, much less the fertility specialist.  At least the feeling is fleeting now for the most part.  And this time it was only being brought to the front of my mind from all of the checkups and medical questions centered around what I wanted to be checked on to begin with.

I went home and returned to three beautiful children and a wonderful husband.  I reminded myself that I was blessed.  That many other roads I could have gone down would not have included these wonderful people and little people along the way.  Another test, another result won't change that I am still happy where I ended up even if it wasn't the way I intended to get there when I started life.

Busy Times...

For the first time in over a month I found myself sifting through posts of blogs that I follow.  Some exciting things going on for those that I've had a chance to read so far and a need to further catch up still.

As for us we are plugging along and just busy I suppose.  We spent the last few weeks completing home projects.  We finished painting our home finally.  It only took us...what nearly 2 years now?  HAHA  But hey it is done and it looks great and I love it.  We also went about replacing all of our hideous door knobs.  The prior owner had a Pinterest inspired idea (I'm assuming to help sell their home as it was such a half-ass job and epic Pinterest fail) to paint the shiny brass door knobs.  So they were half nickel and half shiny brass.  And I'm pretty sure the painted knob side involved a paint brush and not spray paint.  And it was wearing off and it looked so awful.  We are very pleased to have aged bronze door knobs and hinges now.  We also learned a little on ceiling patching, thanks to my dad who is a man of many talents and fix-its.  We finished the list of tasks we've had laying around since we moved in and honestly today is the first day I have really had to sit on my butt for a while.

I still want to post pictures of Nolan's first birthday (maybe I did already), share a few favorites from Christmas and show off my sweet girls' 5th birthday.  They are growing up incredibly too fast (we register for fall Kindergarten next month) and then our traditional leap year Disneyland trip.  Busy I tell you.  Busy.  But for now just checking in and hopefully I will be catching up and commenting on those I follow soon.  Take care for now.

12 Month / 1 Year Update

Weight / Length:   30" and 21 lbs (guessing here).  He is wearing some 9 month clothes (although it's becoming a stretch) but he fits mostly into 9-12 month now.  I'm just trying to stretch the transition until the weather cools off.  His 12 month pants fit pretty well in the length and the 12-18 month ones need rolling up so he doesn't trip on them.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yay!).   I want to start influencing weaning but not pressure him to quit at the same time.  He feeds himself most meals now.  He does put up with me spoon feeding him dinner foods that are messy but he loves to be in charge of feeding himself. 

Milestones/Development:   He walks 90% or more of the time now.  He is getting really quick at it and can turn in circles and change direction pretty well too.  He still likes to climb stuff.  He loves to chase the dog and he loves to be in the middle of what sisters are doing.  They all have a lot of patience for him and his energy.  He like to play chase/hide-n-seek.  He likes to cuddle and will cross the room to get hugs and kisses.  He can throw the ball but doesn't seem to understand catch yet (you throw/roll him the ball and tell him to throw/roll it back and he walks or crawls to you to hand it back; loves the game though).  He babbles quite a bit and I think I'm starting to understand certain sounds meaning something.  He is always excited when he tries to say something and you actually "understand" and do or get him what he wants.  

Helmet Treatment/Torticollis:  We are a little uncertain with this.  We were given permission to quit at his last appointment while also being told he's at the high end range of normal so we could continue wearing the helmet if we wanted to.  We kept at it another month after our "permission to quit" appointment and we're pretty happy with his head shape but still want to see if he can improve even more.  So hard to know.  Next appointment is October 8th if we decide to go or not is still undecided. 

Sleep:  He's sleeping a little better.  Usually fusses once an hour or so after bedtime and then wakes around 1:30 am and then around 6:15 am or so and then usually up for the day around 7:30-8 am.  He was a real pill for a couple weeks while he got his top teeth in.

Teeth:   His top teeth popped through during the last couple of weeks.  Poor thing.  He developed a screaming cry and was inconsolable for a few hours each time he was cutting each tooth.  We kept the infant Advil coming and invested in a tube of oragel.  He has an amber teething necklace.  Jeff thinks it's funny and calls me a hippy.  I don't know if it helps or not but I figure it can't hurt. 

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We enjoyed swimming and dinner up the canyon for Labor Day.  We had a great time with Autumn Aloft hot air balloons.  We celebrated his birthday a week early  (due to a weeknight birthday and church scheduling the Saturday following his birthday).  His birthday was a great time.  He loved it and we loved it too. 

Challenges:  Sleep and Helmet.  Enough said.

Likes/Dislikes:   He loves the dog.  He loves to run around the house now and pull plastic dishes, tupperware and towels out of the drawers.  He has also decided it's fun to stick his fingers/hands in the toilet, although so far hasn't flushed anything down.

Looking Forward to:  Being done with his helmet for sure.  Him sleeping better.   The holiday season with Nolan being more aware and participating.  The girls will be so much fun this year for the holidays too.  

First Birthday Party

Nolan and everyone celebrated his birthday 6 days early.  We had a birthday party for him on Saturday September 26th.  His birthday fell on a Friday this year but I didn't want to host another dinner party like we did with the girls' first birthday.  And the Saturday following his birthday was LDS General Conference so I didn't want to work around that schedule either or have attendance drop.  So the Saturday before it was and we all had a great time.  The months (or at least weeks) of preparation and planning paid off and it turned out as well as I had hoped.  We did a Milk & Cookies themed party with milk bottles, cookies and a few little munchies.  I designed the birthday banner, thank you cards, bottle topper stickers and made the chalkboard sign.  It was fun but a labor of love. Nolan had a small cookies and cream smash cake which he loved.  He also enjoyed unwrapping birthday gifts from everyone and was excited to see what was underneath the tissue paper.
**He did get another birthday cupcake and a few more present on his birthday...I'll post those on his 12 Month Update**

He really got the hang of "unwrapping" presents

The unsure approach..."Do I pick the whole thing up or what??"

Don't worry he figured it out 

In the tub after eating his cake...it was all over including in his hair

Still enjoying his balloons a couple days later

Milk bottles on ice and some of the cookie selection

Other fixings, thank you treats and mouse with book

Birthday banner and cookie and jar decorations on the mantle

Milk can with welcome sign and balloons.  We had a second can and balloons next to the mantle also.

Thank you treats for coming (I liked how these turned out)

Top of Milk Bottles (a last minute addition the morning of his party haha)

First Birthday chalkboard sign done by me

Autumn Aloft and Fall

We had a busy weekend.  We woke the girls kids up early to drive 45 minutes up the canyon and see a hot air balloon festival.  We went to the wrong address first and ended up being a little late to the actual launching but we did get to see a couple hot balloons take off still and one came in to land as well.  And so many beautiful balloons were in the air.  The girls and Nolan loved it and we plan to do it again next year and get it right next time.  We also got some helium balloons and they all loved having their own balloon.  It was definitely a treat to go see.

Looking up at the balloons

Enjoying the show

Between 10 to 15 hot air balloons were lifted off

Getting cuddles from dad

  After enjoying the balloons and scenery a bit and snagging a free helium balloon we headed down the canyon for brunch at one of our favorite little places.  Nolan was a huge fan of this.  We were able to eat outside and the food is excellent.  Being outside and food...two of Nolan's favorite things.  Plus they had some live music.  It was very enjoyable.  The girls gobbled up pancakes and shivered just a little due to cool morning air that was lingering.

Nolan LOVED Ruth's Diner.  Best thing ever based on his reaction to eating outside

After a yummy breakfast

We stopped by Jeff's parents to get chairs and his mom's antique milk can for Nolan's birthday party.  Then we dropped off one of our cars for some recall work and visited with my sister.  Then we headed home for dinner.  Everyone was tired and ready for bed that night.  Kendall slept in until 10 am the next day.  We did our jobs as parents in wearing them out with a good time.

First Day of Preschool

It finally came.  The day when we sent our little babies (who aren't so little anymore) off to school.  Okay so it's twice a week and only a little over 2 hours a day but it was a very big day.  They LOVED it.  They were counting down the days until preschool.  They were thrilled to arrive and find their seats and get settled in.  I knelt down and gave them a hug and told them I'd see them later.  They didn't mind one bit and I'm not even sure they had time to miss me.  I missed them.  I ran some errands with Nolan while they were in school and despite it being a nice change of pace to only have one child to buckle and unbuckle with car seats and use one shopping cart without tantrums or one set of little legs to keep up.  I missed it.  I missed their little voice making funny comments.  I can't imagine how much they will be missed next year when it is kindergarten and not just a couple hours twice a week.

They were so proud to be going to school though.  They took to it like pros.  The bonus of having a built in buddy for school has it's benefits although we hope to separate them either in kindergarten or 1st grade so they can learn to live without the other in direct sight.

They are also doing an online preschool program through the state.  This is 20 minutes a day of reading/phonics (minimum) 5 days a week.  They can also do 15 minutes of science and math which we try to just add on unless we're in an absolute pinch to fit in 20 minutes.  I wasn't super impressed with the program at first.  I think it was still learning their skill level and tuning in on just how to teach them, plus there were a few software flaws.  But after being in it for several weeks now I am sold.  They are learning phonics and letter sounds.  Things I struggled with exactly how to teach them.  They are starting to sound out words and recognize "power" words.  I think it will be a huge benefit to put them right on track for kindergarten and going forward.  Yay for education and yay for our smart little cookies.

They wanted to blow "wishes" before heading off to school

They are such fun girls.  Love love love them!

Labor Day Weekend

We had a wonderful Labor Day weekend.  So full of fun memories.  We went down to Jeff's parents and went swimming at the condo they own but rent out.  The girls had their new puddle jumper floaters and they had so much fun with the independence once they realized they weren't going to sink.  I was only going to let Nolan dip his feet in but he had other plans.  He loved the pool so much and saw sister's having so much fun that after a minute or two of kicking around his wet toes he went limp noodle on me in order to sit in the water.  He loved it.  We let Jeff take him into the pool for just a minute or two and at first he loved it but the second go around he was ready to be done.  I don't think he liked the wet and mega full diaper.

After swimming we all went up the canyon to enjoy some sloppy joes and campfire roasting.  It was so nice to complete the idea and goal we had to roast something around a campfire with the girls.  They LOVED it!  There was a creek that runs by this place and they enjoyed exploring around there with their cousins.  We even managed to sing a couple campfire songs and a round of joke telling.  Nolan enjoyed this as well...he loves the outdoors like crazy.  Only thing he didn't like was not being able to get down and play in the dirt.  It was just a really good weekend and a good memory to make.

11 Month Update

Weight / Length:   30" and 21 lbs (guessing here).  He is wearing some 9 month clothes (although it's becoming a stretch) but he fits mostly into 9-12 month now.  I'm just trying to stretch the transition until the weather cools off.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yay!).  He feeds himself most meals now.  He does put up with me spoon feeding him dinner foods that are messy but he loves to be in charge of feeding himself.

Milestones/Development:   He is walking!! He is a determined crawler, climber and walker.  He climbs anything that sits still long enough and once he started pulling up I knew he was going to walk before his birthday.  He still drops to a crawl to get somewhere faster but is eagerly figuring out how to walk as well.  He babbles and imitates sounds and tone of voice.  He loves to be in the middle of the action. 

Helmet Treatment/Torticollis:  We are still plugging away at this.  I'm frustrated with it and sick of it and I think he's getting sick of it (he doesn't want to hold still and cries when we go to put it back on).  Next appointment is September 10th so crossing our fingers again but I think it might be October or November before we get the go ahead to quit.  Grrrrrrr!  Happy to be able to help him but frustrated with how long it has taken. 

Sleep:  I started putting him in a fleece sleeper cause I thought he got cool in the middle of the night.  For three days in a row he only woke around 1:30 am and then between 6:30 and 7 am .  We'll see if this is the magic bullet.

Teeth:  He still just has his two bottom teeth in.  I think his top ones are shifting around but we still haven't seen them trying to pop yet.  I kind of hope they'll wait until after his birthday and weaning is done. 

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We are hoping to go camping overnight but we'll see.  We tried to do a weenie roast and smores up the mountain and that failed.  He loves to crawl around outside with his sisters and he loves the swing in the back yard.

Challenges:  Sleep and Helmet.  Enough said.

Likes/Dislikes:  He likes almost anything I give him.  He loves to eat what we are having for dinner and everyone loves chicken pot pie (including Nolan).  He does well with meat and almost all textures.  He does okay with bananas now if they are cut up.  He LOVES to go outside.  He climbs everything and is so curious and eager to see and try new things.  He is going to be a different type of child than his sisters to keep up with.

Looking Forward to:  Being done with his helmet.  Him sleeping better.   Final preparation for Nolan's 1st Birthday. 

11 months old

He now squints whenever I take a picture with the flash and he knows it's coming HAHA

Making mischief in his sisters' room...caught ya!

10 Month Update

Weight / Length:   30" and 20 lbs (guessing here).  He is wearing 9 month clothes but would probably fit 9-12 month I'm just trying to stretch the transition until the weather cools off.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yay!).  He can feed himself finger foods and insists on it most of the time.  He eats what we are eating pretty much for dinner.  No more purees.  He does get oatmeal for breakfast still.  I still buy some pouches of baby food for on-the-go but that's it.

Milestones/Development:   He crawls off of his tummy 75% of the time (usually opting for the belly crawl and hard floors).  He pulls up on everything and is cruising furniture with speed.  He stood on his own for a few second a couple days ago;  Jeff stood him up and I don't think he realized it.   He babbles a lot and you can here it sounding more and more like sounds and English.  You can also here his sister squeals and shrieks of tone of voice in it.  He screeches and really goes to town when he's around them.  He loves his sisters.

Helmet Treatment/Torticollis:  As of his 2 month (9 week) checkup with the helmet he had gone from 11-13 mm to 5-6 mm difference.  So at least half-way there.  They consider 3 mm of less to be normal range.  I really hope we are there by his next appointment (Aug 13th).  He seems to have a slow growing skull though so I'm not sure and we would like it to be below 3 if possible just due to worries about regressing once helmet is over. 

Sleep:  He sleeps pretty bad still.  We've started trying to mildly train him more and not respond so quickly to him.  Sometimes he will go back to sleep and sometimes it doesn't work.  He is up 1 or 2 times on good nights.  He usually goes to bed around 7:30-8 pm and wakes up around 7:30 am.  We have been having the girls "fake" going to bed so that he won't think he's the only one being sent to bed.  It seems to work and the girls think it is funny to play a trick on him.  He takes two naps a day.  Still hoping that this will improve once he's done with the helmet.

Teeth:  He has his two bottom teeth in.  I think his top ones are shifting around but we haven't seen them trying to pop yet.  I kind of hope they'll wait until after his birthday and weaning is done. 

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We went to the fireworks on the 4th of July.  We were a little worried he wouldn't make it without a melt-down but he did pretty good until mid-fireworks.  At that point he fussed for a minute and then promptly fell asleep.  He enjoyed the fireworks and it was so fun to watch his face and expression of awe when the first ones went off.

Challenges:  Sleep.  Enough said.

Likes/Dislikes:  He likes almost anything I give him.  He loves to eat what we are having for dinner and everyone loves chicken pot pie (including Nolan).  He does well with meat and almost all textures.  He does okay with bananas now if they are cut up.  He didn't like Ritz crackers.  He LOVES to go outside.  If you let the dog out and don't take him out for a few minutes he cries when you shut the door.  He doesn't like to play Superman with Dad yet...he gets all nervous, cries and clings to Jeff when he lifts him in the air.  Jeff likes it so he can get some good cuddles but doesn't abuse the cuddle power too much.  He doesn't mind playing it with Mom as I only bounce him and never officially let go of him or lift him high.

Looking Forward to:  Being done with his helmet.  Him sleeping better.  We are taking Nolan and the girls on their first camping trip next weekend.  We are definitely going more so for the girls as I'm sure Nolan will be a challenge but hopefully they will all enjoy it.  It's only one night as I don't dare to brave more than that.  It's exciting to watch Nolan get closer to standing and eventually walking.   We are also preparing for Nolan's 1st Birthday now. 

We had a rainy/cool day so I broke up some fall clothes...looking like a little boy more and more everyday

He refuses to sit still for very long anymore

9 Month Update

Weight / Length:   (appointment on the 6th)

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yeah!).  He can feed himself finger foods a little bit and he loves to.  He also fusses to taste what you are eating, even if you have something prepared for him specifically.  He gets more and more of what we are eating.  So much so that I basically haven't made baby food in a while.  I do buy some jars and pouches of food now/still for on-the-go and introducing flavors.

Milestones/Development:   He is getting really quick at army crawling.  He gets his tummy off the floor but doesn't like to crawl this way.  He pulls himself up on anything and everything since 8.5 months (couch, toys, legs, chairs, etc).  He is getting more and more steady with this every day.  He is understanding more on tone and response.  He babbles a lot and you can hear different sounds coming out.  He says "da-da" and "ma-ma" (I think intentionally but not sure).

Helmet Treatment/Torticollis:  At his first official follow up on the helmet he had only gained 1.5 cm in head circumference.  So they didn't measure his flat spot.  He looks better to us but maybe it's not measurable.  Hoping for a big growth spurt so we can be done with it.  He has mild eczema on his forehead from it occasionally and also dry skin spots on his scalp.  We are trying various treatments for his scalp but no magic bullet yet. 

Sleep:  He sleeps pretty bad still but improving a little.  He usually goes to bed around 7:30-8 pm and sleeps until 10:30 pm.  He fusses and sometimes goes back to sleep and sometimes doesn't.  Then he is awake around 12:30 am or so.  But he has improved to sleep from 12:30 am to 5:30-6 am.  He takes two naps a day.  The early morning is throwing him off more than his previous 7 am mornings.  Hoping like crazy that he will sleep better when the helmet is off and done with.

Teeth:  He has his two bottom teeth in.  I forgot what a trial teething can be.  Add in a new helmet and teething is a pain in the ass (or mouth) haha  I am so sleep deprived. 

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We've been to the splash pad and playing in the backyard pool.  He enjoyed the backyard pool but wasn't a huge fan of the splash pad.  He loves to watch things going on.  I came home from church last week (he took a nap with Daddy this week) and he eagerly crawled across the floor to get to me and when I picked him up he leaned in and slobbered on/kissed my cheek and then laid his head on my shoulder.  I loved it.

Challenges:  Teething and his helmet.  Balance.  He wants to pull up and be good but he still falls on his butt and hits his head sometimes which makes for a sad Nolan.  I'm sure it would be worse if the helmet wasn't there to protect his head.

Likes/Dislikes:  He loves eating what we're eating.  He hasn't found a food he doesn't like/love (maybe bananas we haven't tried those again for a few weeks).  He is getting bigger into cuddles.  I love it.  He lays his head on your should and squeezes just a little.  I ask for kisses and he gives me hugs.

Looking Forward to:  Being done with his helmet.  Him sleeping better.  Oh please let this be the month that we get out of the stupid helmet.  And puh-lease let that be the main reason he sleeps like crap.

Funny 4 Year Olds (ongoing post)

Oh goodness... I think I just need to keep a running blog post of the funny things they say and come up with lately.

Seren was shirtless with her favorite necklace on a week or so ago.  She looked like Jim Morrison in the iconic picture and Jeff and I were talking about it.  She heard and understood that we thought she looked like him and quickly said, "I'm not a boy!  I don't have a penis."

We recorded the girls while telling them we were going to fly to visit my parents in Florida.  Kendall's first question was, "But how will we fly...we don't have any pixie dust?"  (they were pretty big in Jake and The Neverland Pirates at the time)  - April 2015

Talking about school in the car.  Kendall says that Kindergarten starts similar to her name and talks about the K and the "Ken" sound starting them both.  "It's like 'Kendall-garten."  She laughs.  Not to be outdone Seren says "What if they called it Seren-garten?"  I had a laugh at that one.  They are excited for school even though it's two years away.  - July 2015

After going to Wendy's for lunch, Seren says, "They work really hard to make yummy nuggets. They are better than you make."  I laugh, "Yep they are pretty good."  Kendall says something to stick up for my cooking so Seren says, "You make lots of other good things though.  I'm soooooo proud of you."  - July 2015

Grocery shopping with the girls.  Kendall spots a Green Giant can of green beans.  "Oh no.  Mom look it's the hulk."  I have a good laugh, "No that's the Jolly Green Giant"... she laughs back like I'm the crazy one, "No.  That's the hulk"  It took a few minutes to convince them both at this point.  "Why would they put a giant on their food?"  Gee I don't know why would they put the Incredible Hulk on it (I didn't say this of course). - Aug 25, 2015

While running errands the cashier asked Kendall where she got her red hair from since it obviously wasn't from mom.  I told him that Daddy had some red hair in his family.  So the cashier asked if she got her red hair from Dad and she laughed.  "No!  I growed it myself."  Too cute and literal.  - Aug 27, 2015

...more to come I'm sure

8 Month Update

Weight / Length:  17 lbs 12 oz and 28 inches.  I'm assuming close to the same since this was only 2 weeks ago.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yeah!).  He can feed himself finger foods a little bit and he likes too.  He also fusses to taste what you are eating, even if you have something prepared for him specifically.  He does get more bits of table food and hopefully this isn't a bad thing.  I know we aren't the best (but hopefully not the worst) eaters in the world.

Milestones/Development:   He is pretty quick at army crawling and crawls all over the house and follows his sisters around and anyone else.  He still gets mad/upset when mom leaves the room though.  He sits on his own really well and I think only falls over intentionally.  He likes to stand and bounce on his legs.  He isn't able to pull up yet but is beginning to learn to hold onto couches and legs to stay standing.  Not very well yet but learning.  He is understanding more on tone and response.  He will blow raspberries with a mouth full of food and when I say "No, Nolan don't do that" he usually smiles or laughs.  He gets upset if you use a hard tone or startle him.  

Physical Therapy/Torticollis:  We graduated!  May 22nd was out last appointment.  He is not showing regression while wearing his helmet.  We were given approval to stop doing stretches (we haven't really been consistent in a month anyway haha) and just continue with strengthening movements.  If he does regress we return to stretches and if it doesn't resolve withing 10 days or we're concerned then contact them.  

Sleep:  Helmet affected his sleep and now teething is affecting his sleep.  Just about the time he was adjusting to the helmet a tooth started coming up and sleep went down the drain again (waking up every two hours).  We tried orajel and preemptive advil to no avail.  Luckily he would just nurse for a short while for comfort and back to sleep he went.  He's improving again now that it popped through.  His helmet and the heat/sweating is causing eczema on his scalp.  I gave in and slathered Aquafor through his hair last night and put his helmet over it.  Best sleep he's had in a couple months (only woke up once).

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We've done parks and sprinklers since being home from Florida but nothing exciting.  He likes watching the girls at the park but he gets frustrated on the blanket with me or even sometimes being carried around to watch.  You can just tell he's going to be racing to join them soon and raring to go.

Challenges:  Teething and his helmet.  Hopefully we will be clearing these very soon.

Likes/Dislikes:  He likes to feed himself when he can grab it and fusses when you do it for him.  He likes to be on the floor but also fusses to be picked up rather quickly at times.  He likes to be in the middle of the action and get on his sister's nerves a bit.  They love him but get frustrated when he wants to do puzzles or blocks with them.

Looking Forward to:  Being done with his helmet.  It wasn't so bad before but now with the sweating and skin issues on his scalp it isn't much fun anymore.  It is helping his head shape quite a bit though and looking forward to the follow up next Thursday (11th) to see how much he's improved and maybe a hopeful timeline of what's remaining.

7 Month Update

*For me and my memory...feel free to skip*

Weight / Length:  17 lbs 12 oz (26%) and 28 inches (81%).  Head circumference is 45.1 cm (65%).   He is wearing 6-9 month clothes and is in size 3 diapers.  Measurements as of May 19th. 

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yeah!).  He's getting proficient at solids.  He has tried many little table bits and pieces.  He has likes baby oatmeal, apples, carrots, peas, green beans, sweet potatoes, pears, peaches and banana so far.  Only food he doesn't like is banana and favorites are carrots, green beans and apple.  He will fuss and then cough to beg for food we are eating.

Milestones/Development:   He's able to sit on his own for longer periods of time, usually falling over on purpose or due to excitement.  He has started army crawling and can cruise the room pretty easily.  This is quite the challenge with older sister's leaving things around the house that could be a hazard.  Baby gate is up on the stairs.  He babbles more and more...ma-ma, da-da, ba-ba syllables are coming out.  He is developing a pincer grasp pretty good which has including pinching arms, face and neck (ouch! not a fan).  Still not quite able to feed himself although he can pick things up. 

Physical Therapy/Torticollis:  We think this will be complete at our next appointment.  He has reportedly been excellent and in normal range the last two appointments (over a month ago now) and our therapist only wanted to follow up if he were put in a helmet to make sure it didn't cause regression.  Now that he's been in the helmet a couple weeks I can't see any regression so really hoping to be done with it.  

Sleep:  His sleep has been suffering with the helmet.  He woke up 3 times between 9pm to 2 am last night.  I am tired all over again.  If he really starts freaking out I have taken the helmet off for the last few hours of the night.  Hoping that he'll get used to being back home and with the helmet to sleep better. 

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  We just returned from visiting my parents in Florida for a couple weeks.  He loved it and loved them.  He learned to army crawl in the house (luckily no stairs).  He also loved the beach and water, playing with the sand with his feet and dipping toes and legs in the water.  He was a good traveler and flyer as well with no major fuss.  He is just a really smiley and happy baby.

Challenges:  Being in the helmet and sleeping is the only real challenge.  He really isn't bothered by the helmet but it does seem to throw off his sleep and naps a little (mostly just the night sleeping).

Likes/Dislikes:  Despite being able to crawl and move more now he still seems frustrated by movement.  He doesn't like it when his sisters run and play without him and he doesn't like it when you walk away from him into another room or just out of eyesight.

Looking Forward to:  Looking forward to summer (kind of).  Excited at the idea of going to park and splash pad but also realizing it's going to be hot and his helmet might become a bit of a burden to wear in the heat.

*backdated to May 2nd but typed up and pictures taken on May 13th. 

Picture with helmet taken while in Florida

Helmet Therapy...

Well we requested a referral to a specialist for evaluation of Nolan's flat spot.  We had a PT appointment on Monday followed by a evaluation appointment yesterday.  The verdict is that Nolan is still measuring in moderate range for plagiocephaly and we'll be moving towards helmet therapy.  Hopefully we'll be on our way out with PT though as they have basically told us he is resolved with torticollis.  So that is the good side.

I was pretty pro-helmet or at least pro-specialist evaluation.  I kept feeling like Nolan was getting decent care for the torticollis but that head shape wasn't a huge concern for our therapist.  So I was glad to have him seen and even happy to hear there was a recommendation beyond turning his head and increasing tummy time (we've been doing that for 4 months with only mild improvement).  But of course then I start looking into helmets and worrying about the risks (if any) and if it will be successful (feeling more confident here).  I also start seeing these adorable children with helmets on their heads.  Gratefully they are all grinning from ear to ear so it doesn't seem too bad but still these cute little kids in these not so cute devices.  Also, I think of a fellow mom friend who was sad about the cuddle time being different and not being able to kiss her son's head or nuzzle his hair as much during the therapy.  That part is sad.  Nolan's sisters will miss being able to ruffle his hair all the time.  It is silly but just a little sad to check in with reality and realize Nolan will be stuck in a helmet 22-23 hours a day for 2-3 months.  It makes me sad even though I know it's only short term and at least there is something we can do.  Hoping he doesn't mind it and hoping it is a success.

Update:  We went in on April 15th to have Nolan's scan/pictures taken of Nolan.  They placed this cap on him and then took several pictures, using a high tech camera, around his head from different angles to get a 3D image.  It was interesting and he was a good sport about it all.  The helmet is supposed to be done within two weeks but due to our schedule they rushed it a couple days and we should get it on April 27th before heading off to visit my parents.  I hope that he adjusts to it well.

Cap they put on him to take 3D pictures of his skull shape for helmet fitting

Complete with stickers used to find center of his face, ears and top of head during imaging

Easter 2015

Easter 2015 

City Egg Hunt

6 Month Update

*For me and my memory...feel free to skip*

Weight / Length:  (guessing here)
 He is starting to wear  6-9 month clothes and is moving into size 3 diapers.  Oooops...Nolan won't have his "6 month check up" until he's almost 8 months.  I forgot to schedule it until a few weeks ago and then our pediatrician is out with training/conference or such so it will be on May 19th.

Eating:  We are still breastfeeding (yeah!).  He took one bottle and then started refusing bottles again (snob).  We have stuck a toe into solids.  He has tried oatmeal, rice, apples, avacado, butternut squash, carrots, sweet potatoes and banana so far.  His favorite I would say was the carrots or apple.  He also gets tiny tastes of bread, ice cream and things we're eating.

Milestones/Development:   He is able to sit up on his own for a few minutes at a time, longer if I distract him with toys, his sisters or Thor.  He is trying hard to crawl but can't get arm strength and scooting to work together.  He is starting to take up rolling to get short distances and he definitely scoots but not super effective.  He's starting back into babbling more and more also...sometimes if you listen carefully (or imagine with me) you might here a "momma" mixed in with his cries for attention.  He is able to grab things (rarely missing them) and hold things more easily.  

Physical Therapy/Torticollis:  His PT is going well.  His tilt was in normal range last visit (as of a month ago) and I think his turn is close but he through a fit for our therapist so couldn't really tell or get him to work with her.  He was considered normal range with tilt and turn at appointment on February 24th but not sure if that means we can plan to stop PT or not.  His head shape is still concerning.  He stayed at 8 mm the last two times it was measured (basically for 2 months now).  He'll get measured again on April 6th. Our therapist has said she may refer for a helmet if next measurement isn't much better.  We discussed it and requested a referral to have him evaluated by a specialist.  This appointment is on April 9th.  He is getting closer to 9 months and supposedly there isn't much change to be had after that point with head shape.  So we'll see what the specialist has to say and if we are headed for a helmet or not. 

Sleep:  His sleep is unpredictable.  The moment I say he's doing better we have a rough night (up every few hours) but he did have a night with 2 6-hour stretches (so nice) and the next night with 5-hour stretches.  And now he is getting more consistent 7 hour stretches in (yeah!!).  I hope it starts sticking but we'll see.  My guess is once he is a little more mobile he'll start sleeping better but who knows.  

Fun Memories (Outings/Events):  I let him swing in the infant swing on our swingset a couple weeks ago.  He loved it.  He was smiling and excited.  Hopefully we'll be hitting the park again more often soon.

Challenges:  His torticollis and sleeping is the only big challenges we have right now.  He is a really good baby in general though.

Likes/Dislikes:  He is fascinated with Thor still and loves it when we have Thor sit by him or when we play with Thor around him.  He also love watching his sisters and (unfortunately) trying to grab their hair (especially Kendall's).  He seems to be more frustrated with movement and knowing he's getting it but physically not quite there seems to make him mad.

Looking Forward to:  We're looking forward to our trip to see my parents.  The girls are going to be thrilled to see them and Nolan will hopefully have a good time as well.  I'm looking forward to him crawling so he's not so frustrated but other than that I'd be happy for time to stand still with this baby getting closer to turning into a toddling little boy.

The older he gets the more he attacks Mario

Love this smile

The drool continues...no teeth in sight but drooling for months

Swimming Lessons

Kendall and Seren started swimming lessons this past Saturday.  They were excited the week leading up to it, nervous when we handed them over to their instructor and generally seemed to enjoy the class.  They are the cute little things in pink and blue-green sitting on the pools edge (I'm sure you can't tell...silly me didn't bring a good camera to take a couple pictures).  They stood in the water, chased easter eggs and had fun.  The instructor dunked all of the kids to get them used to the water in their face.  They were NOT a fan of that and both girls got visibly upset but the teacher distracted them and they continued enjoying everything else.  We were given the assignment to work on it though and have since been playing in the big jetted tub every night to get used to water in their face, closing mouth and eyes, blowing bubbles and such...hopefully they show improvement by this coming Saturday.  

We sat across the pool so they wouldn't notice us

Nolan came to watch too and even dipped his toes in (didn't care one bit about it though)

They were glad to be done and a little chilled with slightly blue lips but BIG SMILES