My best friend from high school (my first best friend) who has two kids already just called to tell me she is expecting twins. The surprise kind. As in she went to her first appointment at 7 weeks or so and was told there was only one (she says she had intuition there was two) and now at her 11 week appointment was told "actually there are two". Her doctor (the same doctor I went to for the girls) believes that they are likely identical because they appear to be sharing the same gestational sac or placenta (whatever means identical).
Anyway she called me and told me the news and then joked she'd probably be calling more often to get advice and tips. I told her that I went into it with only twins so it's a different ball game for her already having two kids. She says that her youngest will be 3 and her oldest 5 when the twins are born so they won't be as much work. I think she's still got rose colored glasses on if you ask me. I am happy for her. But there was a surprisingly big twinge of jealousy too. I didn't expect that. It's like the fact that the people I know with twins currently are those that I share a familiar bond through infertility with. But this friend is the opposite of infertile...she gets pregnant the moment they start trying I swear and even claims to have gotten pregnant while on the pill with her first child. I don't know it just makes me feel like I'm not really connecting on the "yeah it's twins" front with her yet...in fact I mostly feel a really big disconnect with this news. Has anyone ever experienced this?? I mean hey it's only the first day so I'm sure it's just my initial gut reaction.
4 comments:
I can identify with how you feel, with me it's not even a twin pregnancy thing. I always need some time to digest pregnancy announcements from my very fertile family and friends. I am sure you will feel more connected in a couple of days. Give yourself some time xxx
Thanks...I think so too. I think I just feel close to my best friend from HS who had twins after infertility so this just feels different and not as close. We'll see how it all pans out.
Yikes. Twins with two already??? I understand how you feel but I kind of dread her situation and feel sorry for her. Maybe that makes ME a bad person? Also, if they are sharing the same sac that would make them momo twins, which is extremely rare and high risk. It only happens in 1% of identical twins. I know this because a good friend of mine is 20 weeks with momo twins and she needs to check in as an inpatient around 24-26 weeks until she delivers around 32! That's nothing to be envious of. Does this help at all? If not, just ignore me! :) I'm deliriously sleep-deprived!
HAHA thanks Michelle. No I'm not jealous of the twins with two kids or the identical...just her ease of being fertile. I hope your friend gets through well...that is worrisome. No I've definitely decided it is just more that I feel so crazy excited when my infertile friends (online and IRL) get pregnant after struggling that it felt different to not be over the top excited for her and just feeling disconnected.
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