In my infertile mind it bothers me a little...
- that my newly twin-carrying fertile friend is now posting about this pregnancy everyday on Facebook.
- that she's starting a photo album "My Journey Carrying Multiples" documenting by photos her progress and belly bump every week for the next 22 weeks (if she makes it to 38 weeks that is).
- that she does all of this with probably little second thought to her sister-in-law who has struggled since getting married 5+ years ago to have a baby (miscarriages, still-birth at full-term, loss at 20 weeks, etc). Her sis-in-law is a much stronger person than I and seems supportive on FB (I would want to punch my friend in the face if I were her).
- that she asks for support and advice from her fellow twin moms and a few times when I've offered it she gives me the attitude of knowing better and that she is of course a prior mom and thinks having twins shouldn't be much different.
-that something (twins) that I used to only share with my fellow infertile friends who also knew how much work, money and emotion went into getting them into their uterus much less out in the world I now share with this friend who doesn't understand that side of things (gosh I sound like such a brat saying and thinking that).
Yeah I was thinking that I was over my initial gut reaction towards her and I think I am excited for her but then all of this annoying behavior is happening (even my mutual non-infertile friend is finding the frequent posts and talk annoying) and it really bothers me sometimes. It's totally true that no matter how many kids you have or how long you suffered or suffer infertility that it just changes your perception forever.
6 comments:
Maybe it's time to hide her posts? That's what I do to people who annoy me with their politics or need to post their goings on every 5 minutes! :)
Thanks michelle. I have been considering hiding pictures she posts and just generally not commenting to the other things. My DH thinks I'm being a little weird but oh well hehe
Hi Michell, I agree with you,infertility does change you forever and those who never experienced it will never fully understand the impact it makes. I once told my SIL that I don't like putting information about my pregnancy on fb as I know how much it hurt me to always see others doing that. She agreed with me, saying that I shouldn't because it is so hurtful to others (at that stage she thought she might have a problem falling pregnant) but as soon as she found out she was pregnant the posts just started coming ...
I guess each to their own, but I do understand how you feel
Xxx
Blue...it's true. I didn't announce anything on FB until like 22 weeks or so (one post) and then one when they were born. I do indulge in posting about my girls (plus I'm a SAHM mostly so it is my life haha) but even there I catch myself not wanting to brag too much cause I know it can still be lemon juice for some.
Oh I hear you! I really have to bite my tongue a lot of times! It just seems some people fart rainbows while the rest of us struggle and fight for everything we get! I was hoping the bitter infertile in me would leave but I guess she's here for good now! I'll just have to make sure her tongue is clipped! Lol!
KS...haha I wonder what it would be like to fart rainbows. I suppose we all just have rainbows at different times and conditions (hopefully). I definitely have to clip my tongue for things like this too.
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