Karma and Misfortune

I don't know if I really believe in karma and I don't really believe that this is a case of karma but more of misfortune. Misfortune and odds. After all I know far too many women who seem to get pregnant easily to not know more women who don't. It was bound to happen right?

A good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) recently began asking me more about how I came to be diagnosed with POF...what tests they did and what else they thought it might be. I of course became curious why they were asking and came to find out they had been trying to get pregnant and that she had missed periods without the happy following of a positive pregnancy test. I explained the rarity of POF and the other possible outcomes this might be. I did my best to be supportive while in my head this little voice said "karma's a bitch". I'm sure this friend had tried be supportive with my POF diagnosis but I always felt belittled and diminished when I talked about it with her. After all according to her it was worse to have bad in-laws than infertility and remodeling often came with a 50-60% risk of not getting what you paid for. I'm sure it was just a hopeful way to relate to me and a miserable attempt at showing empathy when all I really wanted to hear was "I'm sorry" or "That sucks". I don't remember hearing those the first time around...maybe because the hurtful things stick out so well in my memory. But as we talked about the possibilities and her feelings towards it I heard "I'm sorry you had to go through this"(even with that I laughed a little inside thinking "uh yah...STILL going through it"). But it still felt strangely healing. Healing for me to hear and to actually feel understood a little by her. This wasn't some small little thing in one's life. It wasn't comparable to other things and it wasn't a bid for competition or attention. It sucked! It hurt! It wasn't easy.

She had an appointment a couple weeks later and some blood work results a week or so after that. Come to find out she has PCOS and will be going on some medication to help regulate things. I've heard very hopeful things about this medication and of it fixing things and working relatively quickly. So come January when she's off the birth control again (used to regulate her body) I imagine that she will be coming out with some "happy news". I will be happy for her (I hope) but I wonder if the understanding will remain or if it will be back to minimizing or trying to debunk the worries that I have. I imagine that I will just continue to refrain from talking to her about my POF issues due to the feelings of dislike and anger that her resulting comments usually instill in me.