Dr L gave up on me around May 2016. Okay maybe not gave up. She's still my ob/gyn (do I still bother adding the ob part??). Anyway after some further testing on my TSH not coming back in easy range she decided that she's probably not the best person to be covering my medical needs. She asked me to research endocrinologists and try to get an appointment. She said she would do a referral for anyone that I could find accepting patients. So begrudgingly I went off looking for ANOTHER new doctor. I am really sick of finding new doctors. I've given up at this point on finding one who actually knows anything about treating POF or anyone who thinks I deserve treatment beyond HRT and thyroid meds.
I researched Dr ratings and found a local endo who has decent ratings and reviews stating he actually listens to them and not just test results. Dr Al-Reyes (I'll call him Dr Al). I request an appointment and explain my medical needs to the receptionist. They ask for Dr L to refer me and I call her office and get that ball rolling. I then wait 2-3 months (I don't remember).
I went to see Dr Al in December 2016 (I think). Another Dr under my belt. Yay! I'm so proud. He's okay. Nothing great. He listened to me explain my situation and I'm focused on POF and forget to mention that I was diagnosed with Graves and my thyroid was radiated. Really? I can't even keep my own medical history straight. He tries to explain POF to me...OH MY HELL!! Really? Yep got it and yep I know why things aren't working. 10 years Dr Al!! 10 years...I think I know enough to understand the basics. MORON! Anyway he does some blood work and adjusts my thyroid medicine. Highest dose I've had since I don't know when...I feel good on that so I let the POF treatment slide for the first appointment. I do get blood work to verify Nuvaring is giving me enough hormones.
In between appointments, I decide maybe if my thyroid level feels normal maybe I will. Sex drive is still in the crapper. Maybe it's 10 years of marriage. I don't know what's normal. My pubic hair has pretty much thinned to nothing (yep I went there). This makes me think that my hormone levels are too low for someone my age. I should think my appearance would be more normal for a 37 year old if I was getting the hormones I'm supposed to. Maybe my body has just hit the 10 year post diagnosis mark and decided to go downhill.
So I am still seeing Dr Al. He seems to get the thyroid stuff. He thinks I have poly-glandular syndrome (multiple endocrine systems affecting each other or shutting down; autoimmune). I still think he's pulling at straws as when I read about poly glandular syndrome it generally doesn't mention secondary POF although primary hypogonadism is possible. Also the thyroid and ovaries aren't usually affected together from what I can tell. I don't know. Guess I'll have to ask God someday what the crap happened because it doesn't appear that any doctor or man on earth has a freaking clue.
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Still An Anomaly...
*a year or two old post...sitting in draft*
I really hate finding doctors. I hate going over my medical history again. I hate doctors that treat me like I've never researched my condition; a condition I've now had nearly 10 years. That being said I still like my new doctor. She did research on her own before my appointment, she listened to my concerns, she consulted with another doctor about her recommendations and she read up on one of my questions and called me later in the day after my appointment. I guess it still just stinks and is depressing to hear you don't fit the mold of a normal functioning young woman. I mean I am still relatively young. Damn I feel old sometimes when I go to the doctor though.
Dr L who I'm assuming has at least a few years on me hasn't hit menopause yet and mentions to me (the one who did unwillingly years before) that she dreads it. Gee thanks doc. I wanted different hormones with a mix of testosterone to help with my libido. She explains that testosterone isn't recommended for menopausal women, except in premature ovarian failure cases. So I get a pass on the whole FDA suggestion due to my age and desire for a more normal life...swell. Then Dr L says something along the lines of I'm going to consult with someone (ie your case is unique and I haven't actually encountered it before). She returns and after saying she and another doctor compared notes and read something together it's decided the best route. Before the appointment ends she reassures me that this is a perfectly good route to go. "I have many patients who take this and a few who refuse to stop taking it even though it's not recommended for their age. I've just never prescribed it to someone as young as you are." Once again making me feel like a medical guinea pig for her. I hate that.
I really hate finding doctors. I hate going over my medical history again. I hate doctors that treat me like I've never researched my condition; a condition I've now had nearly 10 years. That being said I still like my new doctor. She did research on her own before my appointment, she listened to my concerns, she consulted with another doctor about her recommendations and she read up on one of my questions and called me later in the day after my appointment. I guess it still just stinks and is depressing to hear you don't fit the mold of a normal functioning young woman. I mean I am still relatively young. Damn I feel old sometimes when I go to the doctor though.
Dr L who I'm assuming has at least a few years on me hasn't hit menopause yet and mentions to me (the one who did unwillingly years before) that she dreads it. Gee thanks doc. I wanted different hormones with a mix of testosterone to help with my libido. She explains that testosterone isn't recommended for menopausal women, except in premature ovarian failure cases. So I get a pass on the whole FDA suggestion due to my age and desire for a more normal life...swell. Then Dr L says something along the lines of I'm going to consult with someone (ie your case is unique and I haven't actually encountered it before). She returns and after saying she and another doctor compared notes and read something together it's decided the best route. Before the appointment ends she reassures me that this is a perfectly good route to go. "I have many patients who take this and a few who refuse to stop taking it even though it's not recommended for their age. I've just never prescribed it to someone as young as you are." Once again making me feel like a medical guinea pig for her. I hate that.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Keeping Up Shop...
It's been two months sense I stopped breastfeeding. I wanted to go longer but I was desperate for good sleep and it didn't seem like it would happen with Nolan still breastfeeding. We waiting out the holidays. It didn't seem right to torture a little baby during a happy time of year. Then as soon as my sister returned home from an over night stay with us for New Years Eve and day we called it. On January 2nd, at 15 months, Nolan had one very long hysterical night. I had weaned him down to nighttime feeding and occasional bedtime snacks. But taking away the middle of the night cuddles and nursing was definitely hard on him. The three of us slept only three or four hours that night. The girls slept through the banshee screams and bemoaning of fate that was Nolan. The next night was easier but he still cried for a couple hours before giving up. The third night he slept 9 hours. By the fourth night he was sleeping great and all night long. Horrible feeling coupled with the wonderful feeling of getting sleep. The first great sleep I had in a year and a half.
Anyway the ending of breastfeeding brought me back into self-care mode. I wanted to get back on hormone replacement to feel better. To hopefully lose some weight, especially in my tummy region. To protect my bones and heart. I needed to do what my body needed. I set up an appointment with a different ob/gyn who is closer to where we live. My prior ob/gyn was well loved but he had delivered my babies and I was done with that road. I wanted a different feeling, different office not slam full of pregnant women and a doctor who's main reason for seeing me was to care for my POI.
Dr L was good. Her office was still had pregnant women and baby pictures (though not as many). She focused on my self-care with POI and I was grateful for that. She wanted to make sure I would get the hormones that I needed. She wasn't a fan of bio identical hormones which I wanted to consider but she was informed and had good reasons. She was helpful in doing or offering everything else I asked about. She set up a DEXA scan for my bones. She was happy to hear of our success having the children with donor eggs. She was supportive. In general I think she'll be a good match.
I went in for my DEXA scan a couple days later. I filled out a questioner geared toward menopause, hysterectomies and aging. I got to explain for the hundredth time (the second time that week) to a medical assistant why I hadn't had a period in almost 2 years despite my age. I changed into bone density scanning friendly clothing and went to the next waiting area. I hung out with a cute old bitty who was probably someone's grandmother. There was an unfinished puzzle on the table and tub of lifesaver breath mints next to my chair. They truly catered to their crowd. It reminded me again that I was really quite out of place in this menopausal age bracket. I didn't feel old but I had a feeling in the vein of being sorry for myself (not sure how else to put it). The feeling that despite trying to always be mindful of my luck and blessings sometimes creeps in. It comes around when I realize that most women my age don't have to worry about menopause for another 15-20 years. That the general population of parents and mothers don't require a third party on top of a fertility specialists, much less the fertility specialist. At least the feeling is fleeting now for the most part. And this time it was only being brought to the front of my mind from all of the checkups and medical questions centered around what I wanted to be checked on to begin with.
I went home and returned to three beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I reminded myself that I was blessed. That many other roads I could have gone down would not have included these wonderful people and little people along the way. Another test, another result won't change that I am still happy where I ended up even if it wasn't the way I intended to get there when I started life.
Anyway the ending of breastfeeding brought me back into self-care mode. I wanted to get back on hormone replacement to feel better. To hopefully lose some weight, especially in my tummy region. To protect my bones and heart. I needed to do what my body needed. I set up an appointment with a different ob/gyn who is closer to where we live. My prior ob/gyn was well loved but he had delivered my babies and I was done with that road. I wanted a different feeling, different office not slam full of pregnant women and a doctor who's main reason for seeing me was to care for my POI.
Dr L was good. Her office was still had pregnant women and baby pictures (though not as many). She focused on my self-care with POI and I was grateful for that. She wanted to make sure I would get the hormones that I needed. She wasn't a fan of bio identical hormones which I wanted to consider but she was informed and had good reasons. She was helpful in doing or offering everything else I asked about. She set up a DEXA scan for my bones. She was happy to hear of our success having the children with donor eggs. She was supportive. In general I think she'll be a good match.
I went in for my DEXA scan a couple days later. I filled out a questioner geared toward menopause, hysterectomies and aging. I got to explain for the hundredth time (the second time that week) to a medical assistant why I hadn't had a period in almost 2 years despite my age. I changed into bone density scanning friendly clothing and went to the next waiting area. I hung out with a cute old bitty who was probably someone's grandmother. There was an unfinished puzzle on the table and tub of lifesaver breath mints next to my chair. They truly catered to their crowd. It reminded me again that I was really quite out of place in this menopausal age bracket. I didn't feel old but I had a feeling in the vein of being sorry for myself (not sure how else to put it). The feeling that despite trying to always be mindful of my luck and blessings sometimes creeps in. It comes around when I realize that most women my age don't have to worry about menopause for another 15-20 years. That the general population of parents and mothers don't require a third party on top of a fertility specialists, much less the fertility specialist. At least the feeling is fleeting now for the most part. And this time it was only being brought to the front of my mind from all of the checkups and medical questions centered around what I wanted to be checked on to begin with.
I went home and returned to three beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I reminded myself that I was blessed. That many other roads I could have gone down would not have included these wonderful people and little people along the way. Another test, another result won't change that I am still happy where I ended up even if it wasn't the way I intended to get there when I started life.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Busy Times...
For the first time in over a month I found myself sifting through posts of blogs that I follow. Some exciting things going on for those that I've had a chance to read so far and a need to further catch up still.
As for us we are plugging along and just busy I suppose. We spent the last few weeks completing home projects. We finished painting our home finally. It only took us...what nearly 2 years now? HAHA But hey it is done and it looks great and I love it. We also went about replacing all of our hideous door knobs. The prior owner had a Pinterest inspired idea (I'm assuming to help sell their home as it was such a half-ass job and epic Pinterest fail) to paint the shiny brass door knobs. So they were half nickel and half shiny brass. And I'm pretty sure the painted knob side involved a paint brush and not spray paint. And it was wearing off and it looked so awful. We are very pleased to have aged bronze door knobs and hinges now. We also learned a little on ceiling patching, thanks to my dad who is a man of many talents and fix-its. We finished the list of tasks we've had laying around since we moved in and honestly today is the first day I have really had to sit on my butt for a while.
I still want to post pictures of Nolan's first birthday (maybe I did already), share a few favorites from Christmas and show off my sweet girls' 5th birthday. They are growing up incredibly too fast (we register for fall Kindergarten next month) and then our traditional leap year Disneyland trip. Busy I tell you. Busy. But for now just checking in and hopefully I will be catching up and commenting on those I follow soon. Take care for now.
As for us we are plugging along and just busy I suppose. We spent the last few weeks completing home projects. We finished painting our home finally. It only took us...what nearly 2 years now? HAHA But hey it is done and it looks great and I love it. We also went about replacing all of our hideous door knobs. The prior owner had a Pinterest inspired idea (I'm assuming to help sell their home as it was such a half-ass job and epic Pinterest fail) to paint the shiny brass door knobs. So they were half nickel and half shiny brass. And I'm pretty sure the painted knob side involved a paint brush and not spray paint. And it was wearing off and it looked so awful. We are very pleased to have aged bronze door knobs and hinges now. We also learned a little on ceiling patching, thanks to my dad who is a man of many talents and fix-its. We finished the list of tasks we've had laying around since we moved in and honestly today is the first day I have really had to sit on my butt for a while.
I still want to post pictures of Nolan's first birthday (maybe I did already), share a few favorites from Christmas and show off my sweet girls' 5th birthday. They are growing up incredibly too fast (we register for fall Kindergarten next month) and then our traditional leap year Disneyland trip. Busy I tell you. Busy. But for now just checking in and hopefully I will be catching up and commenting on those I follow soon. Take care for now.
Friday, October 2, 2015
12 Month / 1 Year Update
Weight / Length: 30" and 21 lbs (guessing here). He is wearing some 9 month clothes (although it's becoming a stretch) but he fits mostly into 9-12 month now. I'm just trying to stretch the transition until the weather cools off. His 12 month pants fit pretty well in the length and the 12-18 month ones need rolling up so he doesn't trip on them.
Eating: We are still breastfeeding (yay!). I want to start influencing weaning but not pressure him to quit at the same time. He feeds himself most meals now. He does put up with me spoon feeding him dinner foods that are messy but he loves to be in charge of feeding himself.
Milestones/Development: He walks 90% or more of the time now. He is getting really quick at it and can turn in circles and change direction pretty well too. He still likes to climb stuff. He loves to chase the dog and he loves to be in the middle of what sisters are doing. They all have a lot of patience for him and his energy. He like to play chase/hide-n-seek. He likes to cuddle and will cross the room to get hugs and kisses. He can throw the ball but doesn't seem to understand catch yet (you throw/roll him the ball and tell him to throw/roll it back and he walks or crawls to you to hand it back; loves the game though). He babbles quite a bit and I think I'm starting to understand certain sounds meaning something. He is always excited when he tries to say something and you actually "understand" and do or get him what he wants.
Helmet Treatment/Torticollis: We are a little uncertain with this. We were given permission to quit at his last appointment while also being told he's at the high end range of normal so we could continue wearing the helmet if we wanted to. We kept at it another month after our "permission to quit" appointment and we're pretty happy with his head shape but still want to see if he can improve even more. So hard to know. Next appointment is October 8th if we decide to go or not is still undecided.
Milestones/Development: He walks 90% or more of the time now. He is getting really quick at it and can turn in circles and change direction pretty well too. He still likes to climb stuff. He loves to chase the dog and he loves to be in the middle of what sisters are doing. They all have a lot of patience for him and his energy. He like to play chase/hide-n-seek. He likes to cuddle and will cross the room to get hugs and kisses. He can throw the ball but doesn't seem to understand catch yet (you throw/roll him the ball and tell him to throw/roll it back and he walks or crawls to you to hand it back; loves the game though). He babbles quite a bit and I think I'm starting to understand certain sounds meaning something. He is always excited when he tries to say something and you actually "understand" and do or get him what he wants.
Helmet Treatment/Torticollis: We are a little uncertain with this. We were given permission to quit at his last appointment while also being told he's at the high end range of normal so we could continue wearing the helmet if we wanted to. We kept at it another month after our "permission to quit" appointment and we're pretty happy with his head shape but still want to see if he can improve even more. So hard to know. Next appointment is October 8th if we decide to go or not is still undecided.
Sleep: He's sleeping a little better. Usually fusses once an hour or so after bedtime and then wakes around 1:30 am and then around 6:15 am or so and then usually up for the day around 7:30-8 am. He was a real pill for a couple weeks while he got his top teeth in.
Teeth: His top teeth popped through during the last couple of weeks. Poor thing. He developed a screaming cry and was inconsolable for a few hours each time he was cutting each tooth. We kept the infant Advil coming and invested in a tube of oragel. He has an amber teething necklace. Jeff thinks it's funny and calls me a hippy. I don't know if it helps or not but I figure it can't hurt.
Teeth: His top teeth popped through during the last couple of weeks. Poor thing. He developed a screaming cry and was inconsolable for a few hours each time he was cutting each tooth. We kept the infant Advil coming and invested in a tube of oragel. He has an amber teething necklace. Jeff thinks it's funny and calls me a hippy. I don't know if it helps or not but I figure it can't hurt.
Fun Memories (Outings/Events): We enjoyed swimming and dinner up the canyon for Labor Day. We had a great time with Autumn Aloft hot air balloons. We celebrated his birthday a week early (due to a weeknight birthday and church scheduling the Saturday following his birthday). His birthday was a great time. He loved it and we loved it too.
Challenges: Sleep and Helmet. Enough said.
Likes/Dislikes: He loves the dog. He loves to run around the house now and pull plastic dishes, tupperware and towels out of the drawers. He has also decided it's fun to stick his fingers/hands in the toilet, although so far hasn't flushed anything down.
Looking Forward to: Being done with his helmet for sure. Him sleeping better. The holiday season with Nolan being more aware and participating. The girls will be so much fun this year for the holidays too.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
First Birthday Party
Nolan and everyone celebrated his birthday 6 days early. We had a birthday party for him on Saturday September 26th. His birthday fell on a Friday this year but I didn't want to host another dinner party like we did with the girls' first birthday. And the Saturday following his birthday was LDS General Conference so I didn't want to work around that schedule either or have attendance drop. So the Saturday before it was and we all had a great time. The months (or at least weeks) of preparation and planning paid off and it turned out as well as I had hoped. We did a Milk & Cookies themed party with milk bottles, cookies and a few little munchies. I designed the birthday banner, thank you cards, bottle topper stickers and made the chalkboard sign. It was fun but a labor of love. Nolan had a small cookies and cream smash cake which he loved. He also enjoyed unwrapping birthday gifts from everyone and was excited to see what was underneath the tissue paper.
**He did get another birthday cupcake and a few more present on his birthday...I'll post those on his 12 Month Update**
**He did get another birthday cupcake and a few more present on his birthday...I'll post those on his 12 Month Update**
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| He really got the hang of "unwrapping" presents |
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| The unsure approach..."Do I pick the whole thing up or what??" |
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| Don't worry he figured it out |
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| In the tub after eating his cake...it was all over including in his hair |
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| Still enjoying his balloons a couple days later |
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| Milk bottles on ice and some of the cookie selection |
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| Other fixings, thank you treats and mouse with book |
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| Birthday banner and cookie and jar decorations on the mantle |
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| Milk can with welcome sign and balloons. We had a second can and balloons next to the mantle also. |
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| Thank you treats for coming (I liked how these turned out) |
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| Top of Milk Bottles (a last minute addition the morning of his party haha) |
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| First Birthday chalkboard sign done by me |
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Autumn Aloft and Fall
We had a busy weekend. We woke the girls kids up early to drive 45 minutes up the canyon and see a hot air balloon festival. We went to the wrong address first and ended up being a little late to the actual launching but we did get to see a couple hot balloons take off still and one came in to land as well. And so many beautiful balloons were in the air. The girls and Nolan loved it and we plan to do it again next year and get it right next time. We also got some helium balloons and they all loved having their own balloon. It was definitely a treat to go see.
After enjoying the balloons and scenery a bit and snagging a free helium balloon we headed down the canyon for brunch at one of our favorite little places. Nolan was a huge fan of this. We were able to eat outside and the food is excellent. Being outside and food...two of Nolan's favorite things. Plus they had some live music. It was very enjoyable. The girls gobbled up pancakes and shivered just a little due to cool morning air that was lingering.
We stopped by Jeff's parents to get chairs and his mom's antique milk can for Nolan's birthday party. Then we dropped off one of our cars for some recall work and visited with my sister. Then we headed home for dinner. Everyone was tired and ready for bed that night. Kendall slept in until 10 am the next day. We did our jobs as parents in wearing them out with a good time.
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| Looking up at the balloons |
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| Enjoying the show |
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| Between 10 to 15 hot air balloons were lifted off |
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| Getting cuddles from dad |
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| Nolan LOVED Ruth's Diner. Best thing ever based on his reaction to eating outside |
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| After a yummy breakfast |
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