Donor Egg: Second Go Around

It occurred to me today I haven't thought too much about it this time at all.  This has been a fairly easy breezy pregnancy apart from the morning/evening sickness in the beginning and the lack of sleep that has recently started.  I am starting to wonder a little bit about what he might look like though.  From the 3D ultrasound bits of him we've seen he seems to have Kendall's little nose but we'll see.  Other then that he's been relatively hidden.  I was surprised to hear at our last appointment that he has some hair...like hair enough to show up on ultrasound.  That definitely did not happen with Kendall and Seren.  So I wonder about hair color and eye color.  I suppose like any other parent waiting on the unknown.  I think of how Jeff's nephew had a full head of red hair at birth.  Maybe he'll have red hair like his sister Kendall?  But then do boys with red hair get made fun of?  For girls it's usually an enviable trait.  Maybe he'll be blonde like Seren?  Jeff and I were both tow headed toddlers also.  Maybe it will be brown.  Maybe brown eyes too.  Maybe the donor aspect of genetics will win out this time.  I kind of hope not but I wouldn't mind either and I'm sure he would still be adorable.  So the curiosity for looks is starting to come out I guess.  Everything else is old hat feeling.  They will be who they will be and we will be who we will and parent how we believe is best and hopefully that will lend itself to making some wonderful full-grown humans some day.

I am still grateful for our donor.  It's been 4 years and a bit since she made that difference in our life and the path it might take.  I wonder if she ever thinks about the blessings she helped make possible.  I don't think we were the only successful couple.  I think on talking to the girls about the donor egg aspect again.  I mention it to them but know more will come out as they all grow up.  I'm grateful the three of them will share the same story and genetics.  I would not have wanted to pursue other children with a different donor even if the expenses weren't there.  I think about that sometimes too.  The expense.  I see other couples who discover infertility later in marriage after they've settled into a life, a home and expenses that don't play so nice with adoption fees and infertility expense.  I'm grateful now that infertility was a part of our lives before we even were married or "trying".  I don't think we would have been able to afford things if we had time to get into some debt.  Even the way it was we were pretty much "this cycle or bust".  It was a stressful beginning but it gave us the ability to plan and budget and make decisions.  I wish it were that easy for many and I wish cost and coverage of infertility was more easily accessible.

Anyway I guess not much has changed with donor egg feelings.  I think I'm more relaxed with things and not anxious about the outcome.  These are our babies and I love them and we love them.  I can't wait for this little one to join us.