The decision was made on this a couple weeks ago. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be to make. I would still have loved to donate them to another couple but in the end we felt this was the right decision. We originally had arranged to donate our remaining embryos to another couple during our first frozen cycle. A week before the transfer we received news they had experienced a chemical pregnancy and would be trying on their own for a while at advice of their doctor. We held off on looking for another couple and experienced a failed cycle. I didn't think that I would want to but I found myself wanting to give it one more shot and a strong feeling that fate had stepped into the process to allow us to make that decision, as we originally planned to donate them as soon as the transfer was complete. We decided to give it one more go at a frozen cycle and here we are 14 weeks pregnant (yep kind of feeling fate/God wanted this baby with us).
We learned more about the ratings and quality of our frozen embryos during this process of attempting to donate. They weren't as great as I remembered. In fact we only had a couple early blasts and mostly morulas frozen. Granted the ones we did thaw ended up reaching blast stage in time for transfer but still they left a lot to wonder about odds of success. The remaining four embryos in one straw were supposedly the poorest of the bunch. We didn't like the idea of giving someone poor odds and a strong possibility of great disappointment, especially after experiencing our failed cycle. We also didn't want to take the choice away from the couple we originally offered them too. So I contacted them again and offered the remaining embyros to them with explanation of odds and frozen quality. They asked for time to consider it and after a week or two they contacted us again with their decision. They turned them down. They weren't comfortable with the idea of a possible failure at that time in their lives and didn't want to be holding onto them hoping that a time would come when they would be. With their decision made we came to a decision on our end as well. We agreed that we didn't believe there were great odds with these embryos and would likely not wish to try again ourselves even if the worst were to happen with this pregnancy. We didn't want to spend more money freezing them and looking for another recipient we would feel as good about as the first. So with that we signed paperwork to have them discarded.
It's both nice and somewhat sad to have that chapter and option closed. We look forward to having our family complete and welcoming this little one though. So good things are still to come.
2 comments:
What a process it was. You made this decision with deep thoughtfulness and it sounds like you are at peace with it. I'm really glad you can bring this to a close, and that it won't be hanging over you as you parent your three lovely children.
So glad to read that you are out of the first trimester, and that everything is going well.
Thanks Augusta. It took a while but I guess then you're pretty sure it was right. It's good to have to have closure on it.
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