I have been thinking tonight about the differences with infertiles and fertiles in their decisions to have another child. For the most part it is very similar. Do we want another child? Can we afford another child? When would we want to try to have another child? How would our current child(ren) feel about a sibling?
But a thought occurred to me in a difference there is for those with frozen embryos vs a typical fertile couple. For those with no assumed fertility problems, or even with mild ones, it is more of a case of "when should we try to make a baby". But for those with frozen embryos those babies have already been made. They are just in limbo. Waiting to be a successful cycle or not. Waiting to be your child or not. It's not like you just have a period and figure the next month it might happen. They have happened. They are fertilized eggs that have started to develop. They are a significant possibility for life.
It seems somewhat insane to be making decisions for possibilities that are just waiting, literally frozen in time. It feels like an extra weight of responsibility to me. To make the right decision. After all it took so much to get here there really isn't any turning back once decisions are made and events take place to offer that possibility to someone else.
4 comments:
Ugh. You have read my thoughts exactly. I feel such a responsibility to the boys and yet...we have SIXTEEN frozen 3days at our clinic. SIXTEEN...I was so sure that we would donate them to other couples. But now, I am so confused. We would like to try for one more, but chances are that we (hopefully) will get pg before going through all sixteen. Sixteen significant possibilities for life. Waiting on a home.
I keep thinking about how my boys would feel knowing that their are full-blooded brothers and sisters out there. I thought of this before they were born, but the reality of it is so much more concrete now that the boys are 3, blossoming with their own personalities. I do not like the idea of "getting rid" of the "extras," but I worry how this will effect the boys.
A heavy burden. I just never figured we would end up with so many.
Good luck with your thought process. If you are comfortable, I would love to hear how you are processing all this either on your blog or via email. I know it can be a sensitive subject.
Many hugs, Brenda
Just to respond to your comment about timeouts...Oh challenging! Hahaha! Sigh! They honestly are only about 10 seconds long. But it's 10 seconds of her bouncing, waiting to be able to move out of her corner. LOL! I mean what else are you supposed to do? She's just itty bitty! But I think she's getting the point!
I can't imagine doing this with 2! Stay firm Momma!
And thank you for all your support! It really does mean the world to us!
Warmest Wishes!
ks
Brenda...Thanks for the comment. Oh goodness the thoughts and feelings that go into it. I would definitely be open to discussing the thought process as I'm also kind of at a loss as to what is the best decision for us and the girls.
ks...thanks for the response. I started trying shorter time outs and sitting or standing in a corner after reading your post and this. We'll see how it works. Good luck with everything in your court. Bless you both :)
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