I have thought about my post pregnancy thoughts more so recently. Like how I feel about having any possibility of my own genetic children after having our beautiful girls. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this. I know we all come from different experiences and situations. Some have children prior to taking the route of donor egg children, some only have the option of donor egg children and some still feel a desire for a genetic child after having a donor egg child. We all have the right to feel how we do and pursue our desires how we see fit. So where do I fall?
When I consider the very slim chance of getting pregnant on my own the only thing I really think would be great is not having a team of doctors involved with the conception and not having to have needles stuck in my back side daily for 10-12 weeks straight. I would also love to not have to take hormones for the rest of my life in hopes that I don't end up with osteoporosis or other POF/POI side effects.
I used to imagine how I would love for my body to kick into gear after pregnancy and possibly get pregnant without intervention. I believe Jeff and I used to talk about how I wouldn't use birth control then either and we'd just see what happened. But after having Kendall and Seren, I can honestly say that I have no real desire to have a genetic child. I can't imagine feeling any more connected to one or more love towards one or whatever reason it is that makes us want to perpetuate our own DNA. Most days I forget that these girls don't share any of my genetics. And even more so I wonder how they would feel if we were to have a genetic child. Not that any parent would ever treat their children differently or feel different towards them. But then I wonder...would they somehow feel second best? Just the thought of it diminishing their importance (even if it were just a feeling they had or quietly never expressed) makes me think I would never pursue that. I couldn't be more lucky than in having them.
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