Three weeks old...

The girls are three weeks old now. They are doing good. We are exhausted. Jeff has been off work for the last of his paternity leave and it has been so nice. It is nice to have the time together with the girls. It has been hard though. I keep thinking of when it will just be me again on Friday and soon full weeks (come Monday) on my own. I am scared and worried and feel totally inadequate to handle things. I was reading online about when it gets easier with twins...some said 4 months, some said 1 year and some said it didn't get easier just different. I keep hoping it will be easier when they can sleep through the night and can sit up or do some things for themselves. I have had a number of times now of just exhausted crying or emotionally just being worn out. I guarantee these will continue if not get worse even (please not much worse).

Honestly I keep wondering how twin mothers do it. Maybe I should check out some books on twin survival hehe. I feel like I have pretty much been giving up on breast feeding. I get frustrated by it and honestly if it saves my sanity to not then maybe it's worth it. I still nurse them both on occasion but it's more random and I'm sure I've killed my milk supply by doing this. I just hope things will get more manageable or routine so it will be easier to cope.