Misconceptions

Over the past week I have talked to a couple of friends about the POF situation and I'm always kind of surprised at the misconceptions people have. Even after just talking in detail to one friend about the idea of chosing a donor that might look similar to me, a couple minutes later she says that she hopes that our kids will have my blue eyse. I don't understand what part of donor egg people don't get. It means that the starter cells will not have my DNA or my genes and therefore there is no possibility that the child will have "my" blue eyes.

Then in a conversation with a different friend about her house remodel she comments "we're saving for our house and you're saving for a baby". I asked how much her house remodel had cost so far (around $10k) and didn't bring up the cost difference alone that there was because I knew she would argue it. Instead I just say "well at least when you save the money and put it out there you're guaranteed a finished product" and she says "not necessarily". Uh...yes you are. You might have other projects and more money to go into it but generally speaking in terms of retail sales (Home Depot/Lowes included) you get what you pay for. Seriously where's the argument there? That is another misconception that really bothers me. People just think IVF is 100% effective and the solution. When in reality the average nationwide success rate is about 40% (only double the 20% success rate expected each month for regular couples) and 15,000 times the cost. It's not always a solution and it's not cheap. easy or guaranteed.

I have decided that I need to not worry about it though. People will never understand what it's like or the facts of it unless they've been there. I used to think it was worth educating my friends on, at least those I felt okay talking to. But with my friends it seems to go in one ear and out the other. I need to not be offended so much when people don't understand. I think I'm to the point where I don't feel a need to complain about it (at least for now hehe) because I feel more hopeful that things will work out.