Well as I've posted before we have been looking for a couple to pass on our remaining embryos to. We like to think that we have found a good match for ourselves and for the possible children. I won't go into specifics but they are a couple close to our age with a child and have been trying for a long time to have a sibling(s) without success. We have similar beliefs on how to handle a relationship between ourselves and the children involved, maintaining contact and personal space as well. We are excited about things with this going forward.
It has also made our own plans start rolling. We have been in debate over any other children for at least the past year. We have decided that we would like to give it one more try with a frozen embryo prior to donating. This was stipulated with the couple we are donating to. I think Jeff and I both feel good about this decision. I know that I am both excited and anxious at the thought of how things may or may not turn out. We don't want to pursue more than one more cycle and we are willing to accept the possibility it very easily could turn out negative. If this is the case we will move on with our two beloved daughters and consider ourselves just as blessed. Whatever the case may be I know that for me it has been like a burden of stress and responsibility is lifted to have both decisions being made. Now if I can just wrap my head and heart around the idea of both possibilities.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sharing...
I love a lot of things about Kendall and Seren. What I love to watch most lately is how they take notice and share with each other (and sometimes other kids). I gave both girls apple juice with dinner and of course Seren downed hers pretty quickly. Kendall finished eating and noticed that Seren's glass was empty. She pointed it out to me and then grabbed her own glass and dumped all of her apple juice into Seren's cup. I asked if she wanted Seren to drink all of her apple juice and she said yes. So I asked if Seren (who had left the table) wanted to drink Kendall's apple juice. Her little legs couldn't carry her fast enough. She drank a bit and I suggested she share some with Kendall. The two them enjoyed the rest of the apple juice together.
Seren is a little less likely to share her food but she's quick to grab Kendall's favorite blanket when she's upset or to bring Kendall's doll when she goes to fetch her own from their room. I love how Seren will tilt her head when she looks at you and then ask "more?" and if you say "yes, more please" she will come running to give you more hugs, back scratches or pretend Mac&Cheese.
They've gotten so good at comforting each other that they now are often the first ones to try and offer comfort to other children. I work in the nursery at our church on Sunday (kids 18 months to 3 years playing and little lessons while adults have class). Kendall and Seren are both in there as well. I remember one incident when a boy was upset that another child took the toy he wanted and Kendall offered him the toy she had. The boy took the toy and threw it on the floor. Poor Kendall was so upset that she came crying to me. We had the boy say sorry but she was really heartbroken to have her help turned away.
Sweet girls and sweet memories.
Seren is a little less likely to share her food but she's quick to grab Kendall's favorite blanket when she's upset or to bring Kendall's doll when she goes to fetch her own from their room. I love how Seren will tilt her head when she looks at you and then ask "more?" and if you say "yes, more please" she will come running to give you more hugs, back scratches or pretend Mac&Cheese.
They've gotten so good at comforting each other that they now are often the first ones to try and offer comfort to other children. I work in the nursery at our church on Sunday (kids 18 months to 3 years playing and little lessons while adults have class). Kendall and Seren are both in there as well. I remember one incident when a boy was upset that another child took the toy he wanted and Kendall offered him the toy she had. The boy took the toy and threw it on the floor. Poor Kendall was so upset that she came crying to me. We had the boy say sorry but she was really heartbroken to have her help turned away.
Sweet girls and sweet memories.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Women Can't Win...
It's been three days since I heard the comments from my father-in-law. They didn't sound like they were meant to hurt but they bothered me.
You see we decided at our house that we should be trying to pay off debt quicker. First the credit card debt which isn't that high compared to many Americans. And then focus on the student loan debts. Finally paying off a car loan we received from Jeff's parents. Jeff and I both looked for jobs we could do during the swing shift and hours that the other could watch the girls. Jeff applied for a couple, one in a different division of the state job he has. I applied for one at the hospital I worked at before the girls were born. Jeff was a better catch I guess and got the second job he applied for. So we've been working long shifts. Jeff leaves for work Monday through Thursday at 8 am and doesn't return until 9:30 pm. I am with Kendall and Seren on those four days all day long without a break. On Fridays he is home at his usual time but Saturdays half of the day is taken by this part time job again. It's not really fun for either of us. The girls rarely see their dad four days out of the week. I think Jeff has the harder end of it all but I don't consider my piece to be all that easy either. Tantrums, potty training, breaking up two-year-old fights, typically no grown-up interaction...not exactly a cake walk.
But when the news of Jeff taking on another job gets brought up after our Sunday dinner at his parents, after the general information gathering ends, I get some sideways comment from Jeff's dad about how "Michelle's ventures in making some extra money weren't paying off enough huh?" (I recently did a craft show with a friend and then we also held a yard sale together to get rid of some junk). Then some other remarks about how I went back to school for medical office work and coding and wasn't I still pursuing that or if that was a possibility to do at home.
I went back to school after crazy enormous stress with social work and knowing I needed something to fall back on if heaven forbid our infertility treatments didn't work. Jeff and I wanted me to stay home with any children until they were in school. This was the plan even when I was in school and working two part time jobs and pregnant with twins (yep I know what work is...thanks). But nope I wasn't actively pursuing it. I actually sat on my duff and ate bon-bons while I forced Jeff to go get another job. Blah! It was Jeff's idea to get a second job and we both tried to apply. Maybe I'm not as marketable...sorry!
My father-in-law has two son-in-laws who both work an extra job also to make ends meet or to pay off debt (worse than ours I might add). I don't hear any fun being poked at his one daughter for being home with the kids though or the other daughter with no children yet for working a part-time job while her husband works two jobs. Maybe that's just my perception and granted I'm not around to hear things said to them but I kind of doubt they are. Like I said...I just keep replaying those comments in my head and it just rubs me the wrong way over and over. Time to drop it out of my mind and move on I guess.
Honestly though women just can't win in general. You stay home with your kids and you're considered uneducated or lazy or unmotivated. You send your kids to daycare and go to work you're looked at as a poor mother or someone with their priorities all wrong. It's ridiculous. Why can't anyone just champion women taking care of their children with no regard or judgement as to what they do during the day. If the kids are growing and developing, fed and clothed, and have a great bond with their parent(s) then who cares...obviously their kids are okay with it.
So I'll say it. No matter the way you live your day or night you are making an amazing mother (or will/would make an amazing mother). You are doing more than enough to pull your part of the weight whether your are home or away. You are enough and so much more.
*I hope this isn't offensive to Jeff. I do love my father-in-law and he is a great man with many more good qualities than shortcomings. I just want to get it off my chest and out there.
You see we decided at our house that we should be trying to pay off debt quicker. First the credit card debt which isn't that high compared to many Americans. And then focus on the student loan debts. Finally paying off a car loan we received from Jeff's parents. Jeff and I both looked for jobs we could do during the swing shift and hours that the other could watch the girls. Jeff applied for a couple, one in a different division of the state job he has. I applied for one at the hospital I worked at before the girls were born. Jeff was a better catch I guess and got the second job he applied for. So we've been working long shifts. Jeff leaves for work Monday through Thursday at 8 am and doesn't return until 9:30 pm. I am with Kendall and Seren on those four days all day long without a break. On Fridays he is home at his usual time but Saturdays half of the day is taken by this part time job again. It's not really fun for either of us. The girls rarely see their dad four days out of the week. I think Jeff has the harder end of it all but I don't consider my piece to be all that easy either. Tantrums, potty training, breaking up two-year-old fights, typically no grown-up interaction...not exactly a cake walk.
But when the news of Jeff taking on another job gets brought up after our Sunday dinner at his parents, after the general information gathering ends, I get some sideways comment from Jeff's dad about how "Michelle's ventures in making some extra money weren't paying off enough huh?" (I recently did a craft show with a friend and then we also held a yard sale together to get rid of some junk). Then some other remarks about how I went back to school for medical office work and coding and wasn't I still pursuing that or if that was a possibility to do at home.
I went back to school after crazy enormous stress with social work and knowing I needed something to fall back on if heaven forbid our infertility treatments didn't work. Jeff and I wanted me to stay home with any children until they were in school. This was the plan even when I was in school and working two part time jobs and pregnant with twins (yep I know what work is...thanks). But nope I wasn't actively pursuing it. I actually sat on my duff and ate bon-bons while I forced Jeff to go get another job. Blah! It was Jeff's idea to get a second job and we both tried to apply. Maybe I'm not as marketable...sorry!
My father-in-law has two son-in-laws who both work an extra job also to make ends meet or to pay off debt (worse than ours I might add). I don't hear any fun being poked at his one daughter for being home with the kids though or the other daughter with no children yet for working a part-time job while her husband works two jobs. Maybe that's just my perception and granted I'm not around to hear things said to them but I kind of doubt they are. Like I said...I just keep replaying those comments in my head and it just rubs me the wrong way over and over. Time to drop it out of my mind and move on I guess.
Honestly though women just can't win in general. You stay home with your kids and you're considered uneducated or lazy or unmotivated. You send your kids to daycare and go to work you're looked at as a poor mother or someone with their priorities all wrong. It's ridiculous. Why can't anyone just champion women taking care of their children with no regard or judgement as to what they do during the day. If the kids are growing and developing, fed and clothed, and have a great bond with their parent(s) then who cares...obviously their kids are okay with it.
So I'll say it. No matter the way you live your day or night you are making an amazing mother (or will/would make an amazing mother). You are doing more than enough to pull your part of the weight whether your are home or away. You are enough and so much more.
*I hope this isn't offensive to Jeff. I do love my father-in-law and he is a great man with many more good qualities than shortcomings. I just want to get it off my chest and out there.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Florida Trip
We had such a great time with my parents and sister in Florida. The girls were so excited to be with Grandma and Grandpa and have attention galore. They loved the ocean this time. They loved the beach. They loved the critters. It was perfect. We were so sad to go home. Can't wait to see them again...hopefully for Christmas. Pretty much a picture post.
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| The car ride down. 33 hours of driving time... |
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| ...surrounded by toys and fun stuff (they were troopers) |
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| Grandpa B helping the girls pet a little lizzard |
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| Cute shirts from Grandma B...funny enough they matched shoes we brought |
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| Enjoying an evening on the beach |
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| Glass bottom boat ride...heat and humidity to boot |
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| Seren styling a up-do to keep cool |
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| Playing at the beach |
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| Miss Kendall |
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| Miss Seren |
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| Sitting on Grandpa's dock...they thought about fishing but quickly went inside when it warmed up |
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| Posing for a picture |
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| They loved Grandma and Grandpa |
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| St Louis Arch - in the capsule to go up |
Friday, June 28, 2013
Update: 2 1/2 years old
Height/Weight: Kendall is 35 1/2" and 24 lbs Seren is 36 1/2" and 26 lbs.
Clothing: They are wearing mostly 2T stuff. They are still so skinny that I buy smaller sizes to get pants to stay up...seriously I have a couple shorts that are 12 month and a few 18 month. Bless those elastic adjustable waist bands still. Shoe size 6...some 6 1/2.
Eating: They are better eaters recently...well depending on the meal and food offered as typical with any toddler. But I don't worry about starvation so much anymore haha. Still giving them gummy vitamins to fill in the gaps (I hope) and it makes me feel better.
Foods They Like: homemade mac & cheese, bananas, apples, oranges, blueberries, strawberries, carrots, corn, sour cream, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, tortellini, popcorn chicken/chicken nuggets, yogurt, apple sauce, homemade pizza, craisins (they pass up cookies for craisins which makes me happy). Also meat is becoming more bearable and eaten.
Foods They Don't: salad, vegetables, peanut butter isn't very popular anymore.
Favorite Things: Sesame Street and Super Why (I usually give in once or twice a day), their blankets, sunglasses, dancing, their croc type shoes for summer (probably because they can put them on themselves really easy). They like to scratch your back and also have their backs scratched. Books: Seren loves The Girls Potty Book with Hannah and Kendall likes anything with colors, letters or naming objects.
Dislikes: Being told what to do and time outs. Kendall still has rough mornings and wants to be held during breakfast. She is very sensitive and we try to be patient but sometimes it runs thin.
Favorite Toys: Their doll strollers sans the doll , puzzles and books. Blocks. My hand-me-down exercise ball, backyard swing, parks, splash pads, etc. Toys we made for our road trip.
Their Accomplishments: They are super smart and understand so many things. They jump, dance, run and climb with ease (and less nerves for me...although I still stay close by). Kendall has become more social than Seren recently. She will talk and say hello to strangers at the store and is more open with family or friends. Seren has hit a bashful streak and likes to hide by my leg, sometimes she's teasing and sometimes she's serious.
Teeth: Two year molars are coming in. Kendall has three in and Seren has two and a partial and both have swollen gums and white spots. So fun...not.
Verbal: We graduated from Early Intervention a few weeks ago. Their speech has improved with leaps and bounds. Kendall amazes me with how many words she uses and strings together now. Seren is doing well also, she jabbers a few things still that I don't understand. I'm sure there are other 2 1/2 year old kids ahead of them but they are amazing to me.
Our Accomplishments: We're going on a 32 hour road trip (not including stops for sleeping, eating and stretching/wiggling). I think it's going to be a little insane but we'll survive. We have no choice but to make it work.
Sleep: They sleep about 12 hours a night. They usually still take a nap for an hour or two each afternoon ...especially if I wear them out in the morning with playing outside.
Looking forward to: Our trip to Florida (we will be there when this posts). We are road tripping the whole way...not looking forward to that part. But looking forward to seeing my parents and the girls being with their grandparents and family down there. We talk about it a lot and they are excited I think. Being out of diapers...going to try a third time on this after the trip haha
Favorite memories: Them laughing together, chasing each other around the house, watching them get brave to go say hello to their friends from church even when we aren't right by their side, all the words and things they say. My husband loves to laugh about Lil' John and has taught them to say "what? okay. Yeah-yeah" it gets the giggles going. Playing with them and flying them around. Cuddling with them.
Clothing: They are wearing mostly 2T stuff. They are still so skinny that I buy smaller sizes to get pants to stay up...seriously I have a couple shorts that are 12 month and a few 18 month. Bless those elastic adjustable waist bands still. Shoe size 6...some 6 1/2.
Eating: They are better eaters recently...well depending on the meal and food offered as typical with any toddler. But I don't worry about starvation so much anymore haha. Still giving them gummy vitamins to fill in the gaps (I hope) and it makes me feel better.
Foods They Like: homemade mac & cheese, bananas, apples, oranges, blueberries, strawberries, carrots, corn, sour cream, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, tortellini, popcorn chicken/chicken nuggets, yogurt, apple sauce, homemade pizza, craisins (they pass up cookies for craisins which makes me happy). Also meat is becoming more bearable and eaten.
Foods They Don't: salad, vegetables, peanut butter isn't very popular anymore.
Favorite Things: Sesame Street and Super Why (I usually give in once or twice a day), their blankets, sunglasses, dancing, their croc type shoes for summer (probably because they can put them on themselves really easy). They like to scratch your back and also have their backs scratched. Books: Seren loves The Girls Potty Book with Hannah and Kendall likes anything with colors, letters or naming objects.
Dislikes: Being told what to do and time outs. Kendall still has rough mornings and wants to be held during breakfast. She is very sensitive and we try to be patient but sometimes it runs thin.
Favorite Toys: Their doll strollers sans the doll , puzzles and books. Blocks. My hand-me-down exercise ball, backyard swing, parks, splash pads, etc. Toys we made for our road trip.
Their Accomplishments: They are super smart and understand so many things. They jump, dance, run and climb with ease (and less nerves for me...although I still stay close by). Kendall has become more social than Seren recently. She will talk and say hello to strangers at the store and is more open with family or friends. Seren has hit a bashful streak and likes to hide by my leg, sometimes she's teasing and sometimes she's serious.
Teeth: Two year molars are coming in. Kendall has three in and Seren has two and a partial and both have swollen gums and white spots. So fun...not.
Verbal: We graduated from Early Intervention a few weeks ago. Their speech has improved with leaps and bounds. Kendall amazes me with how many words she uses and strings together now. Seren is doing well also, she jabbers a few things still that I don't understand. I'm sure there are other 2 1/2 year old kids ahead of them but they are amazing to me.
Our Accomplishments: We're going on a 32 hour road trip (not including stops for sleeping, eating and stretching/wiggling). I think it's going to be a little insane but we'll survive. We have no choice but to make it work.
Sleep: They sleep about 12 hours a night. They usually still take a nap for an hour or two each afternoon ...especially if I wear them out in the morning with playing outside.
Looking forward to: Our trip to Florida (we will be there when this posts). We are road tripping the whole way...not looking forward to that part. But looking forward to seeing my parents and the girls being with their grandparents and family down there. We talk about it a lot and they are excited I think. Being out of diapers...going to try a third time on this after the trip haha
Favorite memories: Them laughing together, chasing each other around the house, watching them get brave to go say hello to their friends from church even when we aren't right by their side, all the words and things they say. My husband loves to laugh about Lil' John and has taught them to say "what? okay. Yeah-yeah" it gets the giggles going. Playing with them and flying them around. Cuddling with them.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Summer Plans...
We have wild and crazy adventures planned for this summer. Namely leaving on a road trip from Utah to Florida (where my parents live) in about 10 days. The girls are getting so excited. We talk to them about it and call Grandma and Grandpa B to talk about it and say hello. Obviously they don't know or understand that it's going to be a loooooong car ride. So when we ask them if they are excited to get in the car and drive for a couple days to see "gamma" and "papa" they of course answer with an enthusiastic "yes!" and smile wide and get all giddy. And anytime we get in the car to go somewhere the question "gamma? papa?" comes up...can't wait to actually say "yes! we're leaving for grandma and grandpa's". We talk about seeing the ocean and fish and dolphins and playing with lizards and sand fleas. So many fond memories I have there myself growing up and visiting my dad's side of the family. It is so fun to share and rebuild memories with your kids isn't it?
We have a countdown chain...similar to the ones you use around Christmas. Every night we count how many days are left and take another chain off. Sometimes we forget but when we remember they get all excited to help count. Now if we can just maintain that excitement and thrill in the car when we are rolling into day 2 and nearing 3 days...praying for a miracle HAHA We do have fun food stops planned (for us...thanks Yelp and Food Network) and are starting our drive close to nap time and ending the first day late in the evening/morning (again praying that they will sleep). Plus the second day (first full day) we are stopping early to play in the pool and have fun running around. I am literally prepared to the point of being obsessive compulsive with it...toys, tablets, lap trays, coloring, snacks galore, more toys.
Wish us luck and we'll be seeing you in July when we are much more tan (I hope although not likely) and let's be honest probably generally just worn out. What are your summer plans? Any tips for road trip survival?
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| Hoping for some beautiful serene moments like this :) (not my picture btw) |
Friday, May 17, 2013
Fair Warning...
How many times have you looked at the age limits or warnings on random little toys or activities and after evaluating it yourself thought...eh they're old enough what harm can it do, looks safe enough. Well I've done the same or maybe I stand alone on this.
In my case it was 3 yr + and a 0-3 yrs with a frowning face next to it. When Seren first started growing enough hair to get in her eyes I began looking for ways to help the problem. Almost all of the hair clips, barrettes and elastics I looked at had the age 3+ on them. So I cut bangs a few times while she was younger and was frequently mouthing objects. Once she was 2 though and didn't mouth things as much or next to never I began buying barrettes and elastics to pin her bangs back and grow them out.
A couple days ago I threw her long bangs in a metal clip and Jeff and I took the girls out to run some errands. We were about to get on the freeway when Seren made some gagging sounds. I looked back from the passenger seat and could see the clip in the back of her throat and her little hands trying to grab at it. I let out an expletive and yelled at Jeff to pull the car over in a panic. He pulled onto the grassy bank of the on ramp and I jumped out of the car and ran around to help Seren. I yanked the door open and she was still gagging on it so I quickly unstrapped her car seat and was ready to do some hitting between the shoulder blades like we learned in infant/child CPR. Once she was leaned forward and out of the car seat she gagged again and threw up the clip along with most of her dinner. We were so relieved and she of course began crying in a panic herself. It only took a minute or two to happen but I thought for sure we'd be racing to the emergency room instead of chores and I am so grateful that wasn't the case. I would never have considered a simple hair clip to be such a danger but now I have my own reminder of why every single toy and object has a recommended age range.
It has definitely made me second guess my thinking and rationalizing of toys and everything else for the girls. Seren and Kendall both go hair clip free now. I do still use the small baby elastics but I figure those can at least be swallowed. Just something to think about and maybe a story of caution from me.
In my case it was 3 yr + and a 0-3 yrs with a frowning face next to it. When Seren first started growing enough hair to get in her eyes I began looking for ways to help the problem. Almost all of the hair clips, barrettes and elastics I looked at had the age 3+ on them. So I cut bangs a few times while she was younger and was frequently mouthing objects. Once she was 2 though and didn't mouth things as much or next to never I began buying barrettes and elastics to pin her bangs back and grow them out.
It has definitely made me second guess my thinking and rationalizing of toys and everything else for the girls. Seren and Kendall both go hair clip free now. I do still use the small baby elastics but I figure those can at least be swallowed. Just something to think about and maybe a story of caution from me.
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